Why is there garlic on our ceiling, Honey?
Hey Blog Guy, I know you love to cook and sometimes share culinary secrets.
I spoke to an Italian chef, and I think I can help you out. You’ll need a butt-load of fresh basil, some parmesan, pine nuts, garlic and olive oil. I’m going to make a trial batch in my own kitchen while I write this.
I really appreciate it, Blog Guy. Okay, then what?
Now, the chef said the key to pulverizing the basil properly is, you need a mortar and pistol.
Excuse me? I need a piece of army field artillery and a handgun?
It surprised me, too. I was able to find my mortar at a rebel gun show in Libya. I thought it was strange that even Williams-Sonoma doesn’t sell a mortar and pistol combo. Seems like they’re missing a good opportunity.
Anyway, I’m loading all the basil and other ingredients into the mortar on my kitchen counter top right now.
So now I’m dropping in the mortar round…
STOP, Blog Guy! I’m pretty sure the chef said MORTAR and PESTLE! You know, the big stone grinding kitchen tool you use for making guacamole!
Oh. Well. Don’t I feel stupid! Do you know anybody who can replace an entire ceiling before my wife gets home from work?
Top left: Mortar and pestle and pesto
Left: A rebel fighter holds an 81mm illumination mortar shell, that he claims belonged to Gaddafi’s forces, on the frontline along the western entrance of Ajdabiyah April 14, 2011. REUTERS/Amr Abdallah Dalsh
Right: Hollywood actress Milla Jovovich poses for photographers at a news conference in a 2004 file photo. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao