Boy, this comes as quite a surprise…

June 22, 2011

I am in the wrong damned business. I need to get one of those sweet gigs doing scientific “studies.”

But it has to be just the right “study,” where the results back up what everybody already thinks. If your “study” rocks the boat, then people take a closer look and find out you spent your whole grant on remodeling your guest bathroom, and you’re in trouble.

A recent study by Texas researchers has found guys who wear expensive clothes and drive flashy cars are more successful at having flings and staying single. Right. Hold on to your hats.

“Women seem to understand that when they see a man who has chosen to spend money conspicuously, they think he would be more interesting as a date,” the researcher said.

I gather “interesting as a date” is a euphemism meaning the chick won’t have to climb on a city bus and go eat at a White Castle.

This shocking news is a lot for me to absorb. It may explain why, years ago, it took six months for me to find out the passenger door in my brown Chevy Nova didn’t even open.

The researcher also said splashy personal spending sends a “signal” to women that a guy is after a short-term relationship, and that a woman responds to that signal “positively if she’s into that kind of thing, or negatively if she is looking for marriage material.”

So there you are, guys. You don’t have to be a big flashy spender, as long as you’re willing to get married.

Now go put that information to use, then let me know how it works out.

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Top: A model poses in an Audi A7 during the press day for the North American International Auto show in Detroit, Michigan, January 11, 2011. REUTERS/Mark Blinch

Right: A model poses in a new Alfa Romeo 4C concept car displayed during the first media day of the 81st Geneva International Motor Show at the Palexpo in Geneva March 1, 2011. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

Left: A model poses next to the new Lamborghini “Reventon” sports car during the Volkswagen car group preview-show ahead of the international car show “IAA” in Frankfurt September 14, 2009. REUTERS/Kai Pfaffenbach

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I am simply LOVING those black heels! Oh my, they are so darn gorgeous…
As for dates, well, I have heard (this is a rumour and may not be a fact, so you aint learning and I aint teaching) Scotland has a ratio of 5:1, that is 5 women for every guy…
No wonder, there are so many single women around…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I’m still looking at cars…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

And RB…me bit too late to act upon that advice 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Heels? Oh, yeah, those.

Thanks BG, now what were you ranting about?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

You got me thinking about all of this so I tested mine too. As it turn out the passenger door on my Prius does not open either.

Posted by FastCar | Report as abusive

Isnt Prius supposed to be a very sophisticated and family friendly car?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Is this the Tudor Myth? Or the 4-dor myth?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@Shra – if you consider ‘family friendly’ to mean noisy and uncomfortable, then yes they are. If you consider ‘sophisticated’ to mean it has fancy gadgets that serve no useful purpose, then yes it is.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Yes, you’re right, and you have excellent taste in shoes. By contrast, I’ve heard that the cars shown above are actually from the Priapus line.

Wow, those studies sound like they’re from the Journal of Irreproducible Results. You’ve got to hand it to scientists who figure out how to get free money.

Posted by flamenquito | Report as abusive

So THAT’s the Robinson’s family car…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Okay, here’s how much of a geek I am.

I looked at the first model, and the very first thing I thought of was, “Hey, she’s wearing a suit just like Ayanami Rei in Evangelion!” Okay, she needs boots, and short blue hair, but …

Well, I love the study. I wish I had known that in college; and it sort of explains why I wasn’t to successful with the ladies. I was always family material.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

Never flash and spend.
(Memories of long ago.)
But still lots of fun.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I would most likely put a ring on the finger of the woman who upon being picked up for a date thinks my Trans Am is a hott car, who enjoys throwing in a movie while having Taco Bell and beer just as much as going out, and who (most importantly) will find the resulting fart jokes as hilarious as I do. Just sayin’. :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Doc: the study may have been myth-interpreted.

Oooh, foil clothes are back again!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Or as Charlie Sheen says “Winning”.

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

Flash your cash buddy;
That lady will dig your style!
Then give ME your cash!

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

The model in photo one has legs that are skinnier than the remaining tread on my very illegal tyres…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Women want men with money. Plain and simple. I know.

Posted by dwmatty | Report as abusive

Dwmatty, you’re hanging out with the wrong women.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

lol, i would actually like to eavesdrop on this conversation… ::p

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive