News, but not the serious kind
Let’s practice those pickup lines, boys!
I think I have some pretty good news here, and right now I’m talking to you single guys.
Oh, just one thing. She’s been dating actor George Clooney for two years. He’s your most recent competition.
That’s right, all you need is a pickup line persuading her you’re better than Clooney, and she’s all yours. Oh, and I guess you have to get her to actually listen to you while she’s getting the pepper spray out of her purse.
Here are some that might work, but feel free to come up with your own:
- I hope you don’t go in for those slick, perfect, intelligent, rock-jawed, rich, charismatic, Hollywood pretty boys…
- Well honey, I guess now it’s either me or Brad Pitt. Do you see him here?
- I’ll have $4 million as soon as it gets here from Nigeria…
- I know a guy that can get that tattoo off your arm…
- Check it out! I can wiggle my ears!
- Hop on! Once you ride a Vespa, there’s no turnin’ back!
- Hey cutie, call me if you lose a couple of pounds!
Okay, the bad news is that only one of you readers is going to get her, so let’s keep this friendly. Or at least legal.
Right: Actor George Clooney and his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis, September 8, 2009. REUTERS/Tony Gentile
Right: Clooney and Canalis arrive at the Academy Awards in Hollywood, March 7, 2010. REUTERS/Brian Snyder
Lower right: Clooney smiles during an interview with Reuters in Southern Sudan’s capital Juba, January 8, 2011. REUTERS/Thomas Mukoya