Don’t look up, it’s NUTTY in the sky!
I used to pride myself on having the goofiest content on reuters.com, but then this week I took a look at our space news, and saw what real scientists are telling us.
For instance, did you know astronauts had to take refuge aboard the International Space Station’s “lifeboat” crafts yesterday? The Russian space agency said “space trash” was passing very close to the station.
I guess “space trash” must be Jed Clampett-type guys in coveralls, out hunting space squirrels, but you’d think we would be more politically correct in our wording. “Yokels” or “Hillbillies” would be more sensitive.
And continuing with the space garbage theme, our own NASA said an asteroid with the girth of a garbage truck soared within 7,500 miles of the Earth on Monday. They called it a “near-Earth asteroid.”
That’s the distance from Bolivia to Alaska. Look, when a hurtling garbage truck gets so close that I could drive there, I get very nervous. Remember, the last known quote from a dinosaur, 65 million years ago, was “Hey, look at that pretty thing streaking across the…”
Then there’s my favorite space story of the week. Russian scientists expect humanity to encounter alien civilizations by 2031, a top Russian astronomer predicted.
Really? You know that much about them, and you know we’ll encounter them by 2031, the year I pay off the mortgage on my house?
Do you happen to know if they’ll be looking to buy property in the Washington, DC area, because I expect my values to drop the minute they get here.
And my biggest question is, if they have arms will they have hands? Because I’m not going to high-five anybody, I don’t care if they are from Neptune.
Italian soldiers collect garbage in Castellammare di Stabia near Naples November 29, 2010. REUTERS/Stefano Renna