So you’re ALL named Jaydon?

July 1, 2011

Sometimes I despair for us all. And it turns out those are actually my giddy moments.

An item in the “New York Times” informs us that among the names that have gained the most in popularity in America over the last six years are Jayden, Landon, Addison, Khloe and several others.

What they all have in common is that I don’t know a single person with those names. Not one.

Perhaps I’m just hanging with the wrong people. That happens.

Another explanation is that these folks are from a parallel universe, where instead of naming children after a beloved relative or great statesman or writer, names come from fields I know nothing about, such as reality television or home dentistry.

It turns out that Britney Spears named a son Jayden in 2006, although actor and rapper Will Smith was ahead of her with a Jaden in 1998.

The most alarming bit of the story said that the surge in popularity of the name Khloe seemed to “show how popular the Kardashians have become.”

I am not making this up. Which means at some point in the next few years, many families will have a conversation like this:

“Yes Khloe, we got the idea for your name from a reality show star and celubtante – that’s a word that doesn’t even exist any more.  Really? Your friends are all named Michelle or Hillary? Well, that’s another way to go…”

It makes me wonder why “People Magazine” doesn’t just offer a “Let Us Name Your Baby” service, so you don’t have to mess with it at all. Wait, maybe they do.

You know me, normally I would suffer through something like this in silence. But I figured if these celebs have that much influence, I’d better check them out to see what other names may be surging soon. And that’s when I learned…

Khloé Kardashian is married to a Lamar. Yes.

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Top: The footwear worn by actors Willow Smith (L) and Jaden Smith is seen upon their arrival at the 2011 BET Awards in Los Angeles, California June 26, 2011. REUTERS/Jason Redmond

Left: Singer Britney Spears performs on ABC’s “Good Morning America” at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco, California March 27, 2011. REUTERS/Stephen Lam

Right: Los Angeles Lakers’ Lamar Odom (L) and his wifem television personality Khloé Kardashian sit courtside as they attend the 2011 BBVA All-Star Celebrity basketball game as a part of the NBA All-Star basketball weekend in Los Angeles, February 18, 2011. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok

Lower left: Kardashian talks on her cell phone prior to the Los Angeles Lakers playing the Dallas Mavericks in Game 2 of the NBA Western Conference semifinal basketball playoff in Los Angeles, California May 4, 2011. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok

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a Lamar…but not THE Lamar!

I seem to have a pull to a certain name. My first love’s middle name was Robert (he went by his first name). Ex-hubby’s first name was Robert (he went by his middle name). And my husband’s name is…Robert. I finally got one!!! Yay me!!!! 😀

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I know what you mean, Georgia. Fortunately, my wife has always gone for dudes named Blog Guy.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Oh, BG. Everyday, I think “What were these people thinking when they named their kid?” For starters:

L–a (L[a dash]a); Clamydia; Lamar, Jumar, and Dummar (triplets); Aliyah S. S—-. (A.S.S.); Mikel (spelling his name for the rest of his life). And don’t even get me started on the parents who don’t even know how to spell their kids’ names. Or the kids with speech-articulation issues whose parents have bolts in their pierced tongues). Sheesh.

If I were named any of these, I’d kick my parents’ A.S.S.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

When we named our son, we put a lot of thought into it. Is it a srong name? Does it have a meaning? What are the diminutives? What are the initals? Is there a nice combination of voiced and unvoiced sounds? How hard would it be to sign? What would the other mean little bastards in elementary school do with it? Etc.

That is why we named our child “John Sebastian John Gardner!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I guess you have to be the children of bajillionaire movie-star parents to afford classy footwear like that…makes my s**t-kicker old clod-hoppers right back in style. Yay!

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

Is it because all of those babies are not on speaking terms with you, as of yet, Mr B?

GeorgiaPeach? Is Lamars middle name Robert, by any chance?

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

LOL good reply RB 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Thanks for that Georgia.. I was actually worried about Lady for a while…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Me lovem Lamar’s wifem.

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

Wait, Doc. So you named him after the leader of the Lovin’ Spoonful?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I’ve always been partial to Siobhan, myself.

I know Addison became popular because it was a character name on Grey’s Anatomy. Yep, not even the actress, but the character.

I also know Madison became popular because of (get this) the movie “Splash”. Good gracious, look at that young Tom Hanks! When did he grow older?

At least Gwynneth Paltrow didn’t start off a craze when she named her child “Apple”. Think of the copyright issues with that!

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

I’ve always liked the sound of “Oscar Roscoe.” It would go so well with my surname. No, BG, we just wanted to create a child who would be as pretentious as his name.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Good stuff. Name choices are often way beyond conscious control.

Another amusing trend is naming the kid after the city in which their parents knocked boots to conceive them. The parents think, “oh, how romantic”. Others think, “ew?”.

If you have to choose a trendy name, go for ones that sound like white old money. Then the kid at least has a chance of getting a good job.

Posted by flamenquito | Report as abusive

BTW, BG: You need to talk to your webmaster. Seems your titles aren’t showing up.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

We thought about naming Doc Junior after the City where he was conceived: Paris. It was a spur of the moment thing, a moment when we were overcome by passion, very spontaneous. They’ll never let us in that restaurant again.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@ Shra: “I was worried about Lady…” Thanks for your compassion, a sentiment clearly foreign to Mr B. I admit, a superficial reading of the post sent me into a swoon and even now I am dabbing my feverish forehead with a lavender-soaked lace hanky. But Georgia is right: Khloe’s Lamar is not THE Lamar,not MY Lamar. Slowly my pale cheeks will regain their beguiling flush.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

flamenquito, good advice, and now I feel pretty cocky about naming our daughter “Princess.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I always like the city names for kids, like Madison, East Orange, New Bedford (his father is Old Bedford), Hoboken and Chicopee.

My very favorite is Burnt Cabins, which Blog Guy might to assume since Robert is oh so passe.

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

No, but I might go for Reno. Or Houston.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I wouldn’t name a child after my hometown, “Defiance,” not unless you want to predispose the child toward Oppositional Defiance Disorder. And back home, people take defiance to heart. They’re living proof of self-fulfilling prophesty. Give someone a label, and they live up to it. That’s what happened to my cousin, Crazy Larry.

I’ve always found it interesting that in Ohio “Defiance” is a town and county. In Pennsylvania, it’s a state of mind for some crimes: “defiant trespass.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Skeres, I met a Siobhan recently who spelt her name Chevorne. I was with Irish people at the time. I had to restrain them. Well, I didn’t HAVE to, but it distracted me from punching her in the face and tracking down her parents to kill them.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Well, BG, about Intercourse, a lovely town in Amish country (I know, that seems unlikely)?

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

I guess maybe I could go for Albuquerque and folks could call me Al…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

That may be so, BG, but whom would you call Benny?

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

BG, I think you should legally change your first name to Flash. Flash Basler.

and I notice that you, my husband, and our golden retriever all have the same middle initial. Yeah…my dog has a middle name. He was named after my husband’s father 😉

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

oh…a local radio guy & his wife were discussing baby names. She was furious at him because she’d always liked the name Chloe, but that was the brand name of the bidet he purchased.

fortunately, they had a boy (Micah)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@skeres: BG is titled now???

BG: have you been holding out on us? Were you recently knighted, or have you put out your therapist shingle?

I like my name, though it is possible I like to use Bambi as an alias… Just for grins.

Happy friday to all.
Sister Merry Bambi

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Still, the wifem? Really?

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

I know a dude called Addison – he’s my investment advisor. He’s 68 years old and rides a Harley.
Come on, though the whole name your kid after someone in a movie/tv thing has been going on since Peter Pan (the name Wendy was made up by the author of the book).

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Lol, thats a good one, Sister Merry Bambi.. I would still prefefr One though :)
Baby names, yeaaaah right!! Way too much hassle ya know!
I would sugest keeping the kid nameless until he/she can pick out the name for themselves…
What fun!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Avenue of the Americas! Great name, Spin, and you could call her Sixth for short!

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive