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July 5, 2011

Blog Guy, I need your advice on my dating life. I’ve tried everything, but can’t seem to get guys to notice me.

Have you tried tobacco?

Smoking? Gosh, so many people do that, nobody would even care if I did it.

No, not smoking. Have you tried jamming the tobacco right up your nose?  That’s a very chic, very sophisticated look.

How much would I have to stuff up there?

A lot. Tobacco sniffing isn’t for weenies. I would suggest five pounds.

Wow! Five pounds up my nose? Okay, I’m cramming it up there now. It’s getting hard to breathe…

Gasp. I’m up to three pounds now… Two more to go… Gasp. Man, this is tough…

Well,  you just keep going if you want to improve your…. Oh, wait. Did I say five pounds?

I think I meant five GRAMS, which may be less. Hello? Miss? You still there?

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Top: Waltraud Leitner is pictured after stuffing tobacco in her nose during the German tobacco sniffing championship in the little Bavarian village of Kucha near Nuremberg June 25, 2011. About 220 men and women tried to get as much tobacco, at a maximum of five grams, as they could in their nose in one minute.

Right: Lidwina Weiss stuffs tobacco in his nose during the German tobacco sniffing championship in the little Bavarian village of Kucha near Nuremberg June 25, 2011.

Left: People stuff tobacco in their noses during the German tobacco sniffing championship in the little Bavarian village of Kucha near Nuremberg June 25, 2011.

REUTERS photos Michaela Rehle

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Comments

those wacky Germans! Americans were spending their time wisely…trying to set a new hot dog eating record. Way to go, Joey Chestnut!!!

interesting. The tobacco resembles a Hitler mustache. I bet the sneezing that followed was NASTY!

You can pick your friends. You can pick you nose. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose. Pick a winner…Join the OE Blog Network!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive
 

And here I thought Lidwina is a girl’s name..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Sadly this is no longer confined to just being a sport. Due to an unexplained worldwide shortage of tobacco pouches, folks all over Europe now have to store their tabaccy in their schnoz.

Germans – what a bunch of brown-nosers!

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

I wonder…were they allowed to make space before starting the stuffing?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
 

Wow. Words are just not adequate to… BLEGH! There. That’s better.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

Too icky…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 

BG, you’re supposed to let us know about these things in advance so we can plan our free time accordingly. This wonderful event was right in my back yard…and I could have seen it! Perhaps next year, I can meet Lamar if he comes to cover the event!!!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive
 

Jibberish, you stay in one of the 3 European states I most frequent! Say, what’s ur address?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Ich wohne in Nürnberg!
Come visit.

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive
 

@Shra – so the three states are: Germany, Liquid, and Comatose, right?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

Wow, tobacco up the nose. What will they think of next?

Wait, I’m not sure I want to know.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive
 

So what’s the purpose of the choker? To ensure that none of the tobacco makes it to the lungs? That stuff causes cancer, you know…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive
 

Dave, I’m right there with you. BLEGH!!!

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive
 

Incidentally, Waltraud kind of looks like she regrets what she just did to herself. Not winning, I mean. I would tear up a bit too.

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive
 

Jibberish, I had my wisdom teeth extracted in Nurembburg. Good times. A relative of mine lived there for a time after WWII. He found the whole Nuremburg experience rather trying.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Sorry, Nuremberg.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Nosmo, you forgot SHOESSSSS!

I don’t even think that “little Bavarian village” is a reasonable excuse for this. I’ve lived in several different back end of nowheres my whole life, and I’ve never seen anyone resort to nose stuffing for fun. Gurning, alcohol and horse tranquilisers; yes, but tobacco up the nose?!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

Snuff used to be sniffed through the snozz. Whatever happened to snuff, opposed to what people call snuff, or more acturately, ‘In the jaw cancer causer’ nowadays?

I have an idea. Take some ground glass and inhale it rapidly. What a rush! I mean, what a rush before you internally bleed to death with a self imposed nose bleed.

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive
 

I was raised in Tennessee, lived and worked in the cattle industry in South Texas and North Carolina and have been among tobbacco users for all of that time and all I can say is…
…BLEGH! (I’m right with there with you, too, Dave.)

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive
 

A couple of years ago, the wife of one of my cousins calle dme up and said she was divorcing my cousin. Her complains? “I just can’t take it anymore! He has a beer gut, he’s drunk all the time, and he chews tobacco!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Interesting, Doc. So did you ever find out what her complaint was?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

I bet this guy could’ve gotten 5 lbs of tobaccy in his schnoz! http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/06/28/the-most-romantic-protests-ever  /

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive
 

When I saw the first photo, I thought it was one of those old kids’ toys. The kind that had a little magnetic wand that you could use to move the metal shavings around to make mustaches and eyebrows and stuff on the face on the board.

Then I read what it really was…

Icky, icky tobacco nose picky!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

@DoctorDoll, your pun seems to have been lost in the shuffle. But I got it!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive
 

Thanks, Jibberish. I actually really enjoyed Nuremberg, as I do all Bavarian cities. One must love a place where beer drinking is an art form! I took some license with my ancester. he was actually tried in Nuremberg, but in a small town in Lower Saxony.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Where did my “not” go? “He was was actually not tried in Nuremberg, but in a small town in Lower Saxony.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Knit_Nurse is in Lower Saxony at the moment.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

So, Knit_Nurse committed war crimes?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Nosmo, I was thinking more along the lines of Germany, Netherlands and Italy, but your interpretation sounds quite good too..

By the way, does anyone stay in France? Preferably, the south of France?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Nice is nice. Provence is not to be missed. I could spend a year there. You might watch two films by Claude Berri, filmed in Provence: Jean de Florette and its sequel, Manon des Sources (Manon of the Spring). Great films both. The Provecal “French” has a delightful Italian twang.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Jeez Doc, why don’t you just beg Shra to zap you?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Since you mentioned Nice, Doc, yup, thats where I am off to.. with a squeezed in visit to Monaco..:)
As for the zap.. well, u did mention French films..
zaapppp!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Not that I know of Doc, but give her a chance, she only went on Tuesday…

And both of those films you mentioned are well worth a zap to see.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

Forgot everything and get ready for a journey. Through travelling you can meet different type of human being. This help you to learn how to impress guys. So hire a car and start your journey.

Sumimohan

Posted by sumimohan | Report as abusive
 

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