I have a beef with your roast…
Sometimes I wish I had just arrived in America from Estonia or Honduras or someplace, which would at least give me a better excuse for not understanding the things that go on here.
For instance. Comedy Central has just announced that the subject of their next TV roast is Charlie Sheen.
Presumably Sheen was a last-minute choice after Anthony Weiner, Bernie Madoff and Osama bin Laden were unavailable. But who on earth would watch something like this?
It’s probably just my own ignorance, but I always got the impression that these roasts were supposed to be good-natured ribbing of lovable people.
I can’t begin to imagine what kind of jokes you make about somebody who actually said, “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
We’re talking about a guy who just a year ago pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife. Yeah, bring on the good-natured quips!
Now, if I somehow misunderstood, and they plan to roast him literally, then that’s altogether different. I’ll buy a ticket and help stoke the fire myself.
I mean, crap, why don’t they just roast Donald Trump while they’re at it?
Oh, wait. They already did Trump a few months ago.
Top: Actor Charlie Sheen is pictured in this handout photo released by the Aspen Police Department on December 25, 2009. REUTERS/Aspen Police Department/Handout
Left: Sheen gestures towards fans as he arrives for a sentencing hearing at the Pitkin County Courthouse in Aspen, Colorado August 2, 2010. REUTERS/Rick Wilking
Right: Screen grab from Comedy Central Website