News, but not the serious kind
So there isn’t a Toaster Pastry Diet?
Okay, we already know there are a lot of really stupid people out there, but it may be time to recalibrate my measuring scale.
The first item on their list? Stick margarine. And there I was, snacking on a big old stick of trans fats clutched in my oily hand.
So that explains why I’m gaining weight, and also why my computer keyboard is pretty gross.
I mean really? Does this come as news to anybody?
It gets worse. This article then goes on to warn us about sodas, movie-theater popcorn, hot dogs, deep-dish pizza and whole milk. Well crap, that’s pretty much my entire grocery list, right there.
But here was my favorite item on the list: Breakfast Toaster Pastries. “A two-pack of toaster pastries can flood your system with almost ten teaspoons of sugar!” the writer advises, using an exclamation mark to heighten the drama of this shocking revelation.
I guess the moral here is, eating really bad foods can shorten your life. Then again, wasting several minutes reading the fricking obvious does the same thing, doesn’t it?
Top: President Barack Obama eats his lunch at Rudy’s Hot Dog in Toledo, Ohio, June 3, 2011. REUTERS/Jim Young
Right: Screen grab from online article.
Left: A sausage pizza sits on a table at Pizzeria Uno in Chicago January 20, 2010. REUTERS/John Gress