News, but not the serious kind
Five great tips for keeping in shape
Blog Guy, you seem to have lost some weight, judging from your blog profile photo, and it looks like you’re working out, as well. Please share some health and fitness tips with your readers.
Okay. The first thing is to figure out what you should weigh. There are plenty of free online tools for calculating your Body Mass Index, which is a simple function of your height and weight.
Now, this is important to know. By BMI standards, nearly everyone on earth shows up as morbidly obese.
Ouch. Is there any way around that?
Yes. I told the calculator I was 7’11″ tall, and suddenly it said I weighed too LITTLE! I got fried chicken and cheesecake for dinner, baby!
Not to worry. Many novelty shops sell elastic tape measures. Just take one with you on your next check-up.
This is great stuff! I’m supposed to be using my treadmill at home. What speed should I set it on?
Set the speed pretty low. If you go faster than two miles an hour, your ashtray may fall off.
Of course. You know that little metal peg you put in the hole on each machine, to regulate the weight? I find my workout goes a lot faster if I don’t use that thing at all.
Cool. One more thing, please. A personal trainer said I should shout out encouraging slogans to push myself, like, “You have the power, unleash it!” Does that help?
It can, but don’t overdo the gusto or your potato chips could fly out of your mouth.
Top: A man lifts weights made of rusty car parts at an improvised gym in Caracas June 16, 2011. REUTERS/Carlos Garcia Rawlins
Right: A man works out in a local government-run club in Sanaa June 26, 2011. REUTERS/Suhaib Salem
Left: U.S. first lady Michelle Obama does push-ups with Archbishop Desmond Tutu as they participate in youth activities raising awareness for HIV prevention, at Cape Town Stadium in Cape Town, South Africa, June 23, 2011. REUTERS/Charles Dharapak/Pool
Bottom left: Britain’s Queen Elizabeth watches students study fitness tests in action, as people ride static bikes in a classroom, during a visit to City and Islington College, in north London March 30, 2011. REUTERS/John Stillwell/Pool