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Baby, we’re goin’ out for head lard!
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Blog Guy, you know how on these hot, sticky summer evenings you get in a real mood for…
I bet you’re going to say lard, right?
You get those cravings too, huh? Man, there just aren’t any good lard restaurants around these days!
Sure there are. I go to one in western Ukraine, where you can get your lard in the shape of a head. Boy, a slab of head lard and a nice crisp sauvignon blanc, you can’t beat it.
But wait. They don’t serve those skimpy little-bitty portions, do they? I hate that.
No, that’s the best part. It’s an all-you-can-eat head lard and pig fat buffet, AND a dinner theater.
An all-I-can-eat lard buffet plus dinner theater? I am SO there! What play are they doing this week?
“Grease.”
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Top: A dish and a jigger with vodka are on display at a Ukrainian lard restaurant called “Salo Lviv modern art museum” in Lviv in western Ukraine July 15, 2011. The restaurant offers its visitors lard or pig fat, the staple of the Ukrainian cuisine, prepared in different shapes.
Right: Sculptures made of lard are on display at the restaurant.
Left: A waitress carries dishes at the restaurant.
REUTERS photos by Gleb Garanich
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Spin, lard does not make flakey pie crusts. It makes soft crusts. Crisko seems to make the flakiest pie crusts. I use lard when I want to make authentic European dishes, such as Hungarian goulasch. (Working out, travel, gardening, and cooking are my main passions, besides screwing off that is.)
I keep lard around for making buttermilk biscuits. I haven’t tried sculpting it yet, but if I have some spare time this afternoon….
Wait; is it a restaurant, or a museum?
Either way, you get your fill of calories.
Shra get the taser warmed up, DoctorDoll is trying to each us something again.
I wonder if that is Horilka, Ukrainian vodka. To be polite, I drank it once. It is wise to have something on hand to eat after one drinks it, something like pickled herring, to get rid of the taste….
Lard also makes fabulous hot water crust pastry, for raised pies. I love lard. I made a couple of kilos of it at work last week, it’s handy having chubby pigs around. Ooh, and cured air dried lardo. Mmmm…..
So we should expect a new profile pic of you soon then Mr. B.?
Very good, Spin. I didn’t realize that was one of the meanings of schmaltz. Your comment has really taught me something. Oops…
I learned the word “schmaltz” from my music-theory professor as an undergrad. That and this: “If you’re going to sin, sin boldly.”
I had forgotten this. My very frugal maternal grandmother used bacon grease to make cookies.
Well, I have to tell you the top photo almost made me gag. The giant green pickled slug on the plate just doesn’t whet my appetite.
Butter for cookies, Crisco for pie crust and no lard meals, thank you very much.
@Doc: I was given some fresh lard once and told to use it for cookies. They just didn’t taste like my cookies usually do. Kind of bacony…
I’d say something but it’d be too hard to explain. But Baz, thanks for the memories!
E.
Right, how many zaps is that? 2 I Gues..
One for Spin and one for Doc..
Zapppppp…
That should get them sizzzling…
Jul 20, 2011
9:36 am EDT
@Egeria: Are you saying that they use lard in bumble berry pie or some other Canadian food like poutine?
Posted by 69Spinster
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I think your pursuit of knowledge above earned you the zapping Spin. Shame on you!
My sweet lard!
Hm, my lard.
Hm. my lard.
Bottom picture: Lard of the Rings
Homer Simpson: Lard of the Dance
“And bring us a lot of horilka, but not of that fancy kind with raisins, or with any other such things — bring us horilka of the purest kind, give us that demon drink that makes us merry, playful and wild!
—Taras Bulba, by Nikolai Gogol
The horilka I had was pertsivka, horilka with chili peppers in it. Newfoundland Screech! had nothing on it.
If anyone wants you to drink this stuff (pertsivka), DON’T DO IT! Not unless you enjoy spending the next week getting rehydrated.
Thanks for the help, Malt.. its so hard to justify zaps these days..
I tried absinthe once.. Got home, said goodnight to Mum and went to bed..
Next thing I know, its morning..
Never had a better night’s sleep
Yes Shra, that’s called taking a leave of absinthe…