And the Sportsman of the Century was…

July 27, 2011

It’s a vintage Rolls Royce convertible, bristling with firepower. A mounted machine gun, a Lantaka swivel cannon, a double-barrel high-caliber Howdah pistol. And it used to belong to James Bond, right?

Nope, it just belonged to some dumbass.

Readers of this blog know I’m always amazed that people will spend tons of money to own stuff touched by a genuine dumbass. A Jesse James autograph, Lee Harvey Oswald’s coffin, Bernie Madoff’s underwear.

Well now, for $1,000,000 or so you can bid on the car that the Maharaja of Kotah hunted Bengal tigers in during the last century.

I’ll just let that sink in for a minute. The man hunted tigers from the comfort of a Rolls Royce.

Oh, and it gets worse. When I say hunted tigers, according to our story on the upcoming auction, the maharaja would take the car to a place where his servants, who had already captured the tiger, were holding it so he could shoot it. I am not making this up.

I like to close my eyes and imagine how it might have gone down…

* * * * * *

“Earl, you got a good grip on this tiger’s back-end there? Hold on tight to that rope!”

“Yeah, you just do the same to that muzzle, Floyd! The Boss will be here any minute to ‘hunt’ it.”

“Jeez Earl, you ever get pissed-off about having to do this for a living? Look at these claw marks all over me!”

“Ya know, Floyd, if we were to accidentally let go of all these ropes when the Maharaja gets here and he got eaten up, who would know? We could go back to the Rolls, smoke cigars, drink whiskey and stop off  for pizza…”

“I’m in, Earl! I call shotgun! He’s coming… Okay, when I count to three…”

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Photos: REUTERS/Bonhams

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13 comments

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I say let the tigers have the stupid car. Maul it beyond recognition. Maybe unearth the Maharaja and let the tigers have a little fun with with his bones too.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Don’t be cruel…Join the OE Blog Network!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

The Maharaja obviously didn’t go in for camoflage colouring. One would think that the bright red colour would be a subtle hint for any wildlife in the area to scarper.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

True, Nosmo, but remember, by the time this creep showed up in the red car, the wildlife was already captured.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I like the way you think BG.. coz when the tiger got him, the tiger got hom goood!
The Royalty back home su*ked big time.. :(

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Spin, hows this?

Forget the hard work
Killing a defenceless, beautiful animal
Beyond criminal

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Anyone else like anchovies on their pizza?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

You know, having someone hunt for you is a *perk* of being a Maharaja. Much like the matador doesn’t need to do most of the work when fighting a bull.

But I know this: tigers are freaking dangerous! I mean, look at what tigers in captivity can do. Can you imagine them in the wild??

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

And just to avoid any confusion, the guy had vanity plates to announce his intentions.

Posted by NWHiker | Report as abusive

If that vehicle could bounce across the plains to reach the tigers, I’m impressed with its suspension.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I knew it would be you, Spin. Frankly, I’m surprised you were able to wait all day to say it….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Nosmo: just knowing the dude went out to kill a captured animal for grins and then called it hunting would send me running the other direction no matter what he drove!

@Spin: Was it Howdah Doodah Time?

@ifly: No anchovies, please.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Other than the Maharajah of Kotah, who the hell hunts (executes) wild animals with a machine gun?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive