Presenting the Caribou Smoker Royale!

August 2, 2011

Blog Guy, you’ve been very good about helping us find solutions to those tough household chores in the past, and I have some more questions.

Gosh, all I ever really do is point you in the direction of expensive Williams-Sonoma gadgets.

I like to serve shrimp in the summer, but I find they lack color. People want shrimp that are a nice, healthy pink.

That’s an easy one. Get yourself the Williams-Sonoma Shellmaster 3000, to paint a healthy glow onto shrimp, lobsters, oysters, all kinds of shellfish, as you can see on the right. It comes with a gallon of pink paint, just $399.95.

Is that paint safe to eat?

I guess so, it’s only lead.

My other problem is caribou. I never can seem to smoke it properly.

You’ll want the Williams-Sonoma Caraboutique Royale, for perfect smoking every time. Just $13,999,999.95.

Huh? It only smokes caribou and it costs $14 million?

Yeah, it comes with an actual royal couple. That’s what makes it a Royale.

Yikes! After news like that, I need a drink. I wish I could make frozen margaritas.

Make perfect ones every time, with Williams-Sonoma’s Premium Margaritaville Trio Frozen Concoction Maker, only $499.95.

Okay, fun is fun, Blog Guy. I played along with the Cariboutique, but $499.95 for a drink mixer is a little hard to believe, don’t you think?

No, really! That one is actually true. I swear. The “suggested price” is $700. After all, it comes with Charlie Sheen.

What if I don’t want Charlie Sheen with my margaritas?

Fine. YOU try getting rid of him.

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Top: Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, help carry a caribou skin to a tent to be smoked while visiting Blatchford Lake, Northwest Territories in Canada July 5, 2011. REUTERS/Arthur Edwards/pool

Right: A worker paints a plastic shrimp model to be used as a decoration on an iPhone case at Suetake Sample, a plastic food model maker, in Yokohama, near Tokyo, July 29, 2011. REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon

Left: Williams-Sonoma’s Premium Margaritaville Trio Frozen Concoction Maker

Bottom right: William and Catherine watch a woman prepare caribou meat for smoking while visiting Blatchford Lake, Northwest Territories July 5, 2011. REUTERS/Andy Clark

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@69, didn’t your iPhone case come with a plastic shrimp?

I especially like the Hullabaloo Carribou – it’s a little like the old Maui Wowy! :-)

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

People get weirder everyday…
Shrimps for iPhone cases..
What next, jackhammers for Charlie Sheen shows?
Wait, that could actually work..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Smoked caribou, margaritas, shrimp. Sounds like a party to me.

Hey, Shra! Why be normal? 😛

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

From Watermelon Cell Phones to Shrimp IPhones, we’ve the CyberWorld covered. Be Techno Savvy with the OE Blog!

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

Wait, what? They are smoking a “caribou skin”? Um, I’ve eaten some different stuff (never poutine ) but I’ve never heard of eating smoked skin of anything.

@E, what’s up with that?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Shra – Charge your Zapper. I sense a request for edumacation

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

Ok so the royal couple only costs 14 mill? Do we get half off if we only want Kate…er… the Duchess? All right people pony up! I know what we are getting fwd079 and skeres for Christmas! 😀

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@inebgreen – nope, no education requested. Just pure speculation.

Is it just me, or does Wills just not look that into caribou skin toting?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Say, doesnt Kate look a little worse for wear in the 1st pic?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Dave, I was assuming that smoking the skin was a “quick option for semi nomadic people” version of tanning…?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive