Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Presenting the Caribou Smoker Royale!

August 2, 2011

Blog Guy, you’ve been very good about helping us find solutions to those tough household chores in the past, and I have some more questions.

Gosh, all I ever really do is point you in the direction of expensive Williams-Sonoma gadgets.

I like to serve shrimp in the summer, but I find they lack color. People want shrimp that are a nice, healthy pink.

That’s an easy one. Get yourself the Williams-Sonoma Shellmaster 3000, to paint a healthy glow onto shrimp, lobsters, oysters, all kinds of shellfish, as you can see on the right. It comes with a gallon of pink paint, just $399.95.

Is that paint safe to eat?

I guess so, it’s only lead.

My other problem is caribou. I never can seem to smoke it properly.

You’ll want the Williams-Sonoma Caraboutique Royale, for perfect smoking every time. Just $13,999,999.95.

Huh? It only smokes caribou and it costs $14 million?

Yeah, it comes with an actual royal couple. That’s what makes it a Royale.

Yikes! After news like that, I need a drink. I wish I could make frozen margaritas.

Make perfect ones every time, with Williams-Sonoma’s Premium Margaritaville Trio Frozen Concoction Maker, only $499.95.

Okay, fun is fun, Blog Guy. I played along with the Cariboutique, but $499.95 for a drink mixer is a little hard to believe, don’t you think?

No, really! That one is actually true. I swear. The “suggested price” is $700. After all, it comes with Charlie Sheen.

What if I don’t want Charlie Sheen with my margaritas?

Fine. YOU try getting rid of him.

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Top: Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, help carry a caribou skin to a tent to be smoked while visiting Blatchford Lake, Northwest Territories in Canada July 5, 2011. REUTERS/Arthur Edwards/pool

Right: A worker paints a plastic shrimp model to be used as a decoration on an iPhone case at Suetake Sample, a plastic food model maker, in Yokohama, near Tokyo, July 29, 2011. REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon

Left: Williams-Sonoma’s Premium Margaritaville Trio Frozen Concoction Maker

Bottom right: William and Catherine watch a woman prepare caribou meat for smoking while visiting Blatchford Lake, Northwest Territories July 5, 2011. REUTERS/Andy Clark

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Comments

@69, didn’t your iPhone case come with a plastic shrimp?

I especially like the Hullabaloo Carribou – it’s a little like the old Maui Wowy! :-)

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive
 

People get weirder everyday…
Shrimps for iPhone cases..
What next, jackhammers for Charlie Sheen shows?
Wait, that could actually work..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Smoked caribou, margaritas, shrimp. Sounds like a party to me.

Hey, Shra! Why be normal? :-P

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive
 

From Watermelon Cell Phones to Shrimp IPhones, we’ve the CyberWorld covered. Be Techno Savvy with the OE Blog!

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive
 

Wait, what? They are smoking a “caribou skin”? Um, I’ve eaten some different stuff (never poutine ) but I’ve never heard of eating smoked skin of anything.

@E, what’s up with that?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

Shra – Charge your Zapper. I sense a request for edumacation

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive
 

Ok so the royal couple only costs 14 mill? Do we get half off if we only want Kate…er… the Duchess? All right people pony up! I know what we are getting fwd079 and skeres for Christmas! :D

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

@inebgreen – nope, no education requested. Just pure speculation.

Is it just me, or does Wills just not look that into caribou skin toting?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

Say, doesnt Kate look a little worse for wear in the 1st pic?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Dave, I was assuming that smoking the skin was a “quick option for semi nomadic people” version of tanning…?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

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