Who’s more fun than drunk people?

August 5, 2011

Blog Guy, I’m planning a vacation and I’m looking for ideas. Generally I like to go where I can see a lot of dumbasses.

Really? I guess that’s one way to go. I would highly recommend Ukraine, then.

I’ll see a lot of them there?

I suspect so. The country’s environment minister has found it necessary to “free all bears kept in restaurants for entertainment purposes.”

Bears? In restaurants for entertainment purposes? I don’t get it.

Yes. Apparently drunken customers make the poor creatures drink vodka for laughs.

Wow, thanks! That place sounds like Dumbass Central! I know you love animals, so you must think freeing these bears is a fine idea.

Of course, although I’d approach it a bit differently. I think I’d keep the bears in the restaurants along with the drunks for a few more days, but…


Starting tonight, their restraints would be made of flimsy papier-mâché. Then we’ll see where those vodka bottles end up.

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Top: Brown bear cub Medo plays near a tree in Podvrh village, central Slovenia June 1, 2011. REUTERS/Srdjan Zivulovic

Right: A grizzly bear stands up at the St-Felicien Wildlife Zoo in St-Felicien, Quebec, September 24, 2008. REUTERS/Mathieu Belanger

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Yeah, there’s a great idea: giving vodka to bears.

Not like they’ll do anything. I mean, when you give vodka to people, they just become quieter and friendlier, and never start arguments.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

That seems like a fantastic idea, BG.. say, I am planning on visiting Warsaw/Krakow in Poland this month end.. is there anything wacky going on there?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Shra, I’ve been to Krakow and do have some suggestions. However, I fear the sting of the taser if I get too edumacationable. Taking a risk let me say just this: “salt mine.”

Posted by lemonttaylor | Report as abusive

Would anyone get the reference if I were to say “Free the Mad Bears” ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Jeez, Crow, and you wonder why we thought this final quote might have been from you?

http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/07/28/youre-kidding-me-right-right/

And BTW I presume it’s a Firesign Theatre quote. Stuff I don’t recognize usually is.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Awww, the uber-cute Medo makes another appearance. C’mon BG, how about a pic of Medo tearing into some salmon?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

If it makes you feel better, Crow, at least one of the mostly-lurkers does. The mad bears are now demanding honey.

Posted by Wyvie | Report as abusive

Darn it lemon! Take the bait, will ya!
Am sure Medo would have, if he was around.. though, he might not have succumbed to the taser.. hmm…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Just got back from holding my family hostage at Sequoia National Park for a week. We had a bear walk through our camp before I even had the Mo-Tent 6 set up. He brought some friends over a couple of days later and raised such a ruckus that Ranger Rick had to come over and bust a couple of rubber caps in his heinie. NOW you tell me to keep the vodka away!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@Jazz – you have to keep the pic-a-nic baskets out of sight too 😛

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Did he prefer honey?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Dave_not_dave, I’d rather have Medo tearing into some salmon BARS. :)

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

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