See ya later, crocodile!

August 19, 2011

Mr. Johnson, we’re here to apply for one of those “Zoo Performer” jobs you advertised. Can you tell us a little about what we’d have to do?

Sure thing, Chris. You stick your head in a crocodile’s mouth for the amusement of zoo visitors.

Gosh Mr. Johnson, that sounds kind of dangerous!

That’s because you don’t know about the space-age polymer mouth guards our crocodiles wear. These big guys can’t close their mouth, no matter how hard they try.

Mr. Johnson, may I ask a question about the jobs?

Of course, Julie.

Those polymer things sound great, but it still seems like these huge reptiles could turn dangerous.

Yes, if they were real, Julie, but these are just agile little men in realistic crocodile costumes.

Whew. That’s good to know. Are you still hiring?

Well, Julie and Chris, unfortunately all of our zoo performer jobs have already been filled, but we’ll keep your applications. Zoo Performing opportunities can turn up here quite unexpectedly. You’ll probably hear from us this afternoon.

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Top: Zoo performer Theerapone Manolai smiles as he puts his head between the jaws of a crocodile during a performance for tourists at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo, east of Bangkok, August 16, 2011.

Right: Zoo performer Kanthida Jantanct smiles as she puts her head between the jaws of a crocodile during a performance.

Bottom right: Kanthida Jantanct smiles as she poses on a crocodile.

REUTERS photos by Sukree Sukplang

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It’s “See ya later, alligator…. After while, crocodile.”
(…waiting for the ZAPP!)

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

Moonshine, you are absolutely correct..
I am in a benevolent mood today…so, will spare you the zap..
And if you ask why, its because I have introduced the advantages of having a Zapper to my boss.. apparently she needs to bring sense to some of the other bosses she has to deal with…
She is a nice boss so, am happy to help… :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Awww, wook at the pwetty lizards.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Oh, my. Here’s a link to how chickens are now getting alligators snouts! rticle-2027558/Scientists-undo-evolution -create-chicken-maniraptora-snout.html

In a while, Gator Face!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Oh boy! Steve Irwin has a lot to answer for.
I wonder what Theerapone ‘Lefty’ Manolai and Kanthida ‘No Ears’ Jantanct will do when their time is up at the zoo?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Dave – Shouldn’t that be wook at the pwetty wizards? Just saying…

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

@BG: was zoo performer on your list of jobs where you earn lots of money with little education? Is ‘gator breath hazardous to your health?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@Nosmo – Theerapone ‘Lefty’ Manolai and Kanthida ‘No Ears’ Jantanct sound like possibilties for BG’s cabinet

Baz/Lamar in 2012!!!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I think the Egyptian Plover should file a labor infringement suit. Don’t these Zoo Performers know there is union?

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

I am jumping on the Baz/Lamar in 2012 bandwagon!

Hey look Shra, shoes! Or at least that gator will be if it closes it’s mouth too soon.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I had no idea that crocs were such beautiful creatures.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Once the polymer artifice is in place, the zoo performer enters the croc costume * head first *. If the performer is interupted they’re trained to strike precisely these poses. You’ll find hundreds of these pictures. Ask anybody.

Posted by hoopsnake | Report as abusive

You could be right about Chris, but I’m fairly certain Julie studied accordion and tap dance….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Croc: “mmmm…I love these treats with the crunchy shell and a chewy center!”

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Great, Georgia. Why am I thinking of one of my favorite quotes from Steel Magnolias?

“There’s some pretty sick tickets in this town.”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive