You’ll have to wrestle me for the check

August 21, 2011

Well, Lamar, I have to tell you I’m excited. It was a big decision putting you totally in charge of every aspect of our new restaurant. Millions of dollars are riding on this, but I thought you deserved your chance.

Gee, thanks, Boss. I think you’ll be very glad you did.

So, talk me through it. Looks like the opening day lunch crowd is starting to arrive at Lamar’s.

Okay, Boss, so the idea is…

Excuse me, Lamar, I don’t mean to interrupt you, but these customers all seem to be enormous! And they’re just wearing loin cloths. Don’t we have a dress code?

Those guys are sumo wrestlers, Boss. They have a training camp across the street. They’re gonna love the place!

And what’s the financial model here, Lamar?

It’s an all-you-can-eat buffet, Boss! Just $5.99 a person. That should really pull ’em in. Steaks, lobsters…

Lamar, you are a total imbecile! You’re offering 350-pound wrestlers all they can eat for $5.99? According to my calculations, we’ll lose $1,240 on EACH customer!

Sure, but we’ll make up for that in volume, Boss. Whoops, looks like our very first customers cleaned us out of food in four minutes. I’d better run out for more…


It’s okay Boss, I need to go to the store anyway. I forgot to buy doggie bags so they can take home the leftovers….

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Top: Sumo wrestlers prepare a meal during a summer camp at their freshly rebuilt stable in Soma in Fukushima prefecture, northern Japan, August 6, 2011. The wrestlers, eager to give back to the community that has hosted their summer training for 20 years, have returned to the Japanese port district that was devastated by the March 11 earthquake and tsunami. Having the wrestlers return as if it was any other summer is seen by many as a vital step to lift morale as survivors make fragile attempts to rebuild their shattered lives.

Left: Sumo wrestlers prepare for a meal after training during a summer camp at their freshly rebuilt stable in Soma in Fukushima prefecture, northern Japan August 6, 2011.

REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao


We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see

BG, once again…none of these guys are Mr. Fab Abs. You need to work on your pandering skills. 😉

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

These are professional athletes, Georgia. Maybe you’re just too picky.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Yes, waiter. I’ll have sumo this, sumo that and save room for a little dessert.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Meeting one of my friends for an early lunch, and we are not going to a buffet! The only wresting going on will be in my mind – deciding what to order.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I didn’t know they keep sumo wrestlers in a stable, but I can see why.

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

Ahhh, Slick beat me to it… I wonder (but not too actively) where they keep matadors?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

During food prep these guys need hair nets… and man-ziers.

Posted by hoopsnake | Report as abusive

Who wears short shorts? They wear short shorts! And more cleavage the Giada!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Who’s up for some rump?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Earthquakes? Tsunami? Fukashima beware! I think the 2011 disasters may have been caused by the previous 20 years of Sumo summer training camps!

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

You guys do get a girl’s spirits up.. and you too, BG..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Before checking in for her Elvis memorial tribute, three members of the officialy-sanctioned BTO fanclub dress in their club uniforms (as designed by Michelle herself) and have the traditional breakfast of Poutine Grits.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Yeah, if those guys really did eat poutine grits, they gonna need some of those Smurf-a-Potties, pronto.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive