Look, Honey, a free vacation cruise!
We may have hit the acme of absurdity. We should plant our flag and turn back.
Let me explain. I work at home, and I am interrupted daily by automated calls trying to fool me in some way. I don’t believe it should be legal to intrude on privacy like this, but I don’t make the laws.
Last week, I answered a robotic call and heard, “Congratulations! This household has been selected to receive an absolutely free vacation cruise! Press one for more information, or two to be taken off the list.”
Huh? See what I mean about the off-the-charts absurdity factor here? There is no reason a company would offer a total stranger an absolutely free, no strings attached vacation cruise. Conversely, there is no reason a normal, sane person would decline such a generous offer.
So, we had reached an impasse of logical absurdity, a game played at a whole new farcical level.
What the recording might as well have said is, “Look, we all know we’re low-life brain-eating zombies out to get all your private information and leave you undead in some gutter. If that sounds good, press one.
Being an all-round fun guy, of course I pressed one. I gave them all my account numbers and passwords, told them where I hide the spare house key, and turned my retirement savings into cash.
Tomorrow, we leave for a luxury cruise in the sun-drenched Gulf of Aden for two weeks. Maybe longer.
Top: The luxury cruise liner Queen Mary 2, or QM2, enters the port of Vigo in northern Spain in a 2003 file photo. REUTERS/Miguel Vidal
Left: Women in bikinis pose on Sydney’s Bondi Beach in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Tim Wimborne
Right: Enthusiasts dressed as zombies march across the medieval Charles Bridge during a Zombie Walk procession in Prague, May 21, 2011. REUTERS/David W Cerny