Why is our waitress twirling a baton?

August 29, 2011

Blog Guy, I love going out to restaurants, but I enjoy being surrounded by beautiful women. I find standards are falling in that area lately.

You don’t sound like a terribly evolved person.

No, I’m as shallow as they come. So is there someplace I can go where my sensitivities won’t be offended?

You’re in luck. It turns out a bunch of beauty pageant contestants have opened a restaurant staffed by nothing but beauty queens. It’s called “Panache with a Sash.”

Wow, that’s just what I’m looking for! Do the waitresses dress well?

Of course. You may request the Ballgown Section or the Swimsuit Section.

And they smile a lot?

Just try getting them NOT to smile. The restaurant’s slogan is, “Our jobs may be menial, we’re always congenial…”

Do they recommend daily specials?

World Peace is always the recommended daily special. Try it.

I’m thrilled. Is there any downside to the place?

Do you mind the relentless click-click-click of stiletto heels?

No, I can live with that.

Miss Universe slideshow

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Top: Miss Ghana 2011 Yayra Nego (L), Miss Turkey 2011 Melisa Asli Pamuk (C) and Miss Japan 2011 Maria Kamiyama pose for a photo while they cook a dish at Atelie Groumand in Sao Paulo, Brazil, August 27, 2011. The Miss Universe pageant will be held in Sao Paulo on September 12.

Left: Miss Korea 2011 Sora Chong (L) and Miss Kazakhstan 2011 Valeriya Aleinikova cook a dish.

Right: Miss Uruguay 2011 Fernanda Semino (L) and Miss El Salvador 2011 Mayra Aldana cook a dish.

Photos: REUTERS/Darren Decker/Miss Universe Organization, L.P. LLLP/Handout

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We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see http://blogs.reuters.com/fulldisclosure/2010/09/27/toward-a-more-thoughtful-conversation-on-stories/

You know, in the ‘old days’ the runner-up got actual prizes, and not a job in a fast-food restaurant.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Miss Kazakhstan? I need to travel the region a little more. Notice no Miss Afghanistan – I guess burqas aren’t a part of the accepted attire. Yet.

Miss Turkey, for the win!

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

I’ll bet the other recommended daily special is the end of world hunger.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Oh! Oh! I know who does the dishes! Miss SpicNSpanastan!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

I don’t get it…Why are they all cooking dishes?

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

Apparently, all dishes must be prepared with a colorful spoon or rubber spatula. No other utensils are allowed.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Spin, speaking as someone who loves to cook, those are the only utensils you need in the kitchen. You should taste my famous chicken pot pie. It’s spatch-tacular!

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, what about all the whisks, chopsticks, rice paddles, ladles, tongs, garlic presses, wooden spoons, turners, and other items in my kitchen? I bought many of them from Williams-Sonoma for the bargain price of $299.99 each. I can’t believe I don’t even need them. Do you think that Lamar would buy them from me for the bargain price of $359.99 each?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Does any of these women perform a ventriloquism act while preparing food?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I think this is what spin is talking about…

http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/01/18/ve-haff-vays-to-make-you-talk/

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I’m not allowed in the kitchen ever since I made spaghetti in a pressure cooker. 😉

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Any Douglas Adams fans out there? My initial headline on this item was, “The Restaurant at the End of Miss Universe”

http://www.amazon.com/Restaurant-at-End- Universe/dp/0345391810

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, may I append this? If you’re not a Douglas Adams fan, Don’t Panic.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Sure thing, Spin. Indeed, as the happy customers say upon leaving the restaurant’s Monday night seafood buffet, “So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish”

http://www.amazon.com/So-Long-Thanks-All -Fish/dp/0345479963/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&i e=UTF8&qid=1314631616&sr=1-1

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

How many items are on the menu? 42!

Now we know…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Thanks for confirming what I’ve long suspected, that this blog is just another way for the cult to get together.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

As long as no one attempts to comment with Vogon poetry, I think we’re OK.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

See, in any other restaurant they’d have to wear hairnets. Changes the picture, don’t it?

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Vogon poetry? Is that a challenge, Spin 😛
But seriously, as much as I’m admiring Miss Japan’s colorful spoons, if Kate didn’t cook it, then I’m not eating it…

http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/07/04/cooking-with-catherine-the-bare foot-duchess/

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, would that Restaurant at the end of the Miss Universe be Millicent-ways? I think I’m going to need an intergalactic gargle-blaster.

Of course then I’ll feel drunk.
What’s that like?
Ask a glass of water.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

I ALWAYS carry a towel with me. But y’all probably figured that out already.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

@Ladylala: Forget hairnets. The important thing is that each knows where her towel is.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Very good. Tomorrow, Kurt Vonnegut….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Miss Kazakhstan looks like she’s wearing a uniform, and not the cute kind. Guess some things never change…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@Jazz: They made a whole new section in the restaurant for her. Swimsuits in one section, ball gowns in a secon, and uniforms in the third. Miss Russia, Miss Czech Republic, Miss Slovakia, Miss China, Miss Vietnam, and a few others usually hang out in the uniform section.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I humbly offer two unrelated haiku:

Pageant restaurant
Miss Universe contestants
They are cooking now

Oddly Enough Blog
Although I comment on it
I wish for spell check

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

White hat conspiracy invading the Miss Universe Pageant?
So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish….

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

Mr. Spam Filter doesn’t like Vogon poetry? Maybe it’s for the best…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Yes, Mr. Spam Filter likes you and believes he saved you from yourself….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

That would take a lot of saving, BG. Hope he’s up for the job.

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Maybe just a haiku (or two):

Beauty Queen chefs, hats
and sashes, do nothing for
My indigestion

Poetic Vongons:
Mr. Spam Filter does not
allow your kind here.

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@Jazz: why, you could be saved in my neighborhood! Maybe. I haven’s seen a single EMT or Red Cross worker. How in heaven’s name can they revive anyone without CPR?
Perhaps if you shout halleluia loudlly enough it will dislodge the doughut stuck in your throat.

I best behave or I’m sure to be dodging a lightning bolt.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Twirling a baton? The drum-majordomo?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

No Kurt Vonnegut, let’s stick with Douglas Adams please! Or if you really need to change things up go with Gary Larson.

Where are the melons in that kitchen? Something is amiss.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Oooo!! For the first time, I actually KNOW what you mean when you say Vogon poetry!! :)
As for the smiles, I think Miss El Salvador has had enough..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Give ’em all blue clothing and we have the Smurfs all over again!

http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/08/23/this-restroom-aint-for-resting- pal/

http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/06/10/smurf-city-here-we-come/

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

I wonder if they are using the same book Crowy has – cooking with booze?
What did the mice order?
Do the contestants know the question to the answer of life, the universe and everything?
Are they all hoopy froods?
Is that really Miss Kazakhstan or is it in fact Marvin in drag?
These questions and more, will probably not be answered on the next episode of the OE bLog.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Do these contestants play cat’s cradle with string in their downtime? (I’m following the rule for today’s comments.)

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Yes, Spin, but only with others in their own Karass…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Apparently, they do more than just cook: http://www.reuters.com/news/pictures/sli deshow?articleId=USRTR2QJ0Z#a=11

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Miss Turkey. Couldn’t you just gobble her up?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@Nosmo: You’d have one heck of a Thanksgiving if you did.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

The competition has a different feel
When the contestants cook a meal
They make traditional fare
While the patrons stare
At the gowns’ and swimsuits’ appeal

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Lala, at least Ms Ghana has her hair tied up out of the way…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive