News, but not the serious kind
Eating healthy for peanuts?
Blog Guy, so we’ve established that you lost some weight recently. I found your health tips helpful, but could you be more specific about what you ate?
So you went on an all-meat diet?
Oh right. I saw that movie “Lentil,” with Barbra Streisand.
That was YENTL. Try to focus here. Look, I’m talking about a legume.
Like when you dig up a dead body?
No. You EXHUME a body that has no pulse.
Pulse? The edible seeds of certain legumes?
Sigh. Let me make this simple. You should just use healthful ingredients. For instance, this author on the left has done a new cookbook called “Peas and Thank You.”
So there is a connection between healthy eating and puns?
Yes! I read about that Whitey Bulger guy!
Look, I’m getting nowhere here. You seem like the dimwitted neighbor in a bad sitcom.
See here! I don’t have to take insults like that, Blog Guy! I’m writing to your boss to complain! How should I address him?
Just start with “Legume it may concern…”
Top: First lady Michelle Obama holds a bean harvested from vegetables grown in her garden at the White House in Washington June 16, 2009. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst
Left: Cookbook author Sarah Matheny in an undated file photo. Matheny’s cookbook, “Peas and Thank You: Simple Meatless Meals the Whole Family Will Love,” was published August, 2011. REUTERS/Brie Mullin/Handout
Right: Former mob boss and fugitive James “Whitey” Bulger, who was arrested in Santa Monica, California on June 22, 2011, is seen in a booking mug photo released to Reuters on August 1, 2011. REUTERS/U.S. Marshals Service/U.S. Department of Justice/Handout