Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Are those Tic Tacs, or you got a rattlesnake in your pants?
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Blog Guy, I’m looking for some of your sage career advice. I enjoy travel, working with animals, and maybe a little danger. Any ideas?
Have you considered the glamorous world of snake smuggling?
No, I haven’t. What does that involve?
The usual. Ladies’ hosiery, probably some duct tape, and, you know, snakes.
Cool! Are there openings?
There should be at least one. Some guy was arrested in Miami, trying to board a flight for Brazil with seven exotic snakes stuffed into his trousers.
Wow! That’s brilliant! That should have been foolproof! The imaging technology they use can’t even see stuff like that, right?
Actually, it picked ‘em right up. All seven. I like to think he was doing an involuntary hoochie-coochie dance coming through the metal detector, too, but maybe that’s just me.
That’s kind of scary. Can you give me the guy’s name or any more information about the arrest?
No, the Transportation Security Administration wouldn’t say.
Oh. Well, can you tell me what kinds of snakes they were?
No, the TSA wouldn’t say that, either. So, are you interested in snake smuggling?
Not really, but I sure would like a gig as a TSA information person. That sounds pretty close to my desired level of productivity.
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Top: Heart of Texas Snake Handlers Terry Tippit (L) and Britt Stevens (R) watch as fellow Heart of Texas Snake Handler Jack Bibby (C) dangles rattlesnakes from his mouth during a performance at the Taylor Rattlesnake Sacking Championships in Taylor, Texas March 31, 2007. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi
Left: A worker holds a Cobra before killing it for its meat at a Chinese restaurant in the ancient city of Yogyakarta April 1, 2011. REUTERS/Dwi Oblo
Miss Snake Charmer 2006 Sara Warren (C) has her crown adjusted by fellow contestants at the conclusion of the Miss Snake Charmer Pageant in Sweetwater, Texas, March 9, 2006. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi
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After falling asleep on his Basler Air flight out of Sweetwater, Billy Joe-Bob awoke to find his mouth was full of snakes.
His first thought was ‘Oh Great! Again!’. Clearly he would have to speak to his doctor, Lamar, about changing his meds.
I quite admire the perseverity of people to organise beauty pageants in all sorts of places and for all sorts of ..well.. events..
Next we know, we would have Mr and Miss Wacky Town!
Miss Snake Charmer??? I’m sure Freud would have a field day with that!
a long wait in the screening line with pants full of squirming vermin must be very unpleasant. Actually, a short wait wouldn’t be too nice either.
Feeling rattled? Join the OE Blog Network!
Yes, back in the day when we said that a lady was a “snake charmer” we had a different skill set in mind…
I bet Medusa was the first Miss Snake Charmer. Her opposition was petrified when she started to walk down the catwalk…
…they still are.
Oh and Shra – Mr. and Miss Wacky Town sounds like a brilliant idea! BG, you should look up some candidate pictures for this and launch this event.
With candidates like those in these photos, I’m sure it would be a good competition. Oh, and needless to say, I’d expect plenty of salmon throughout the blog.
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/11/22/can-i-have-a-beer-first-doctor/
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/06/21/bride-pride-taking-to-the-brida l-path/
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/11/30/the-very-best-of-a-goofy-month/
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/11/05/not-another-polish-joke/
Oh…and there are some Fab Abs too for the likes of Shra and company:
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/11/03/so-you-guys-work-out-or-what/
It tastes like chicken.
And more chewy than gristle.
Chili con rattler.
Clearly Miss Snake Charmer should work with the TSA to charm the pants off that snake smuggler.
A man tried to smuggle snakes
Holding as many as his legs could take
They slithered in his pants
Causing him to dance
And that was his fatal mistake
I humbly offer a haiku:
Rattlers in Texas
Leg-warmers in Miami
Dinner in China
Rattlesnake Sacking? I didn’t even know they HAD a football team. I do like their sponsors, though. Next year’s event should definitely include a Beer Race – AFTER all the snake-handling events are completed, of course…although it might be more lively hold the Beer-athalon first.
@Moonshine: Ah, thanks for explaining that it was football. I could not figure out for the life of me how rattlesnakes could participate in a potato sack race.
Lively comments today. Lively as a guy with snakes in his pants.
Wonder if Mr. Spam Filter is earning his pay today?
I think we all know quite a few Texans who have rattlers coming out of their mouths …
Quit your ditherin’
Don’t join Slytherin,
Join the OE Blog instead!
It’s good for your head
I’ve met a couple of guys I could think of as snakes, and I’ve no desire to charm them.
Do the pageant contestants wear snake skin shoes?
Snakes coming out of his mouth? Perhaps, he is having a “hissssss”y-fit. Ok, strike that comment.
Involuntary hoochie-coochie dance. That should be enough to render quite a few arguments invalid.
Old McDonald had some pants, ee-ya ee-ya oh!
And in his pants he had some snakes, ee-ya ee-ya oh!
And a hiss hiss there and a hiss hiss here,
Hiss hiss hiss hiss everywhere!
Malt, you are woooooooonderfuuuuuuuullllllll!!!
Stopped short of thumping the desk, laughing..
@Malt, LOL
Second verse?
Old McDonald had some snakes, ee-ya ee-ya oh!
And on his snakes, he had some rattles, ee-ya ee-ya oh!
With a rattle, rattle here and a rattle, rattle there,
Here a rattle, there a rattle, everywhere a….
Hey…Where did everyone go…?
Third verse:
Old McDonald had some pants, ee-ya ee-ya oh!
And in his pants he had some reticulated pythons, ee-ya ee-ya oh!
With a squeeze squeeze here and a squeeze squeeze there
Here a squeeze there a squeeze
Ouch, his legs have lost circulation
You sure it’s the snake you’re squeezing, Spin?
Oh, and that’s not really a rattle too. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Here, have some nuts. Or do you prefer legumes?
My nick is snake…
@Malt: If you are what you eat, then I’d like some nuts, please.
Did you mean this conversation?
Person A: “That’s not my snake.”
Person B: “That’s not my leg.”
When they nabbed this guy, they said, “Pardon me, are those snakes and tortoises in your trousers?”
The man replied, “What do I look like, an ornithologist?”
This reminds me of the time my fifth-grade teacher would have asked me if I had ants in my pants, and I would have truthfully responded “No Mam, I’ve got a riled up snake and hot steel balls.” But you all don’t want to hear about my childhood.