The duchess, the chimp and the corn dog

September 3, 2011

This blog’s August statistics are in, and once again, patterns are starting to form which will allow me to do a better job of reaching my audience. It’s all in knowing how to read the results.

Of the 10 most popular items, two were about politicians eating corn dogs, three involved very cute animals and two more featured Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.

Our analysts now just have to figure out whether my readers are interested in politics, or in corn dogs. Please, please let it be the latter.

Excuse me now, I need to dictate a letter.

Dear Duchess of Cambridge, I would like to invite you to a photo shoot next summer at the Iowa State Fair. You will appear with an adorable panda cub, and we would like you to consume something which we Americans call a corn dog. It consists of… Oh, never mind, I’ll just get a stunt double duchess, instead…

Here they are, your 10 favorite posts for August:

10. Can YOU pass the Budapest Test?

9. Look, Honey, a free vacation cruise!

8. The folks you love to hate?

7. Who’s more fun than drunk people?

6. I’ll have the Satan Sandwich, sugar-coated!

5. Mystery brunette with Prince William?

4. Duchess, the sun never sets on the British vampire…

3. Eat it off the stick, Rick!

2. Contents may be too cute for some viewers

1. Michele Bachmann, the wurst winner ever?

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Top: Two-year-old chimpanzee “Do Do” feeds milk to “Aorn”, a 60-day-old tiger cub, at Samut Prakan Crocodile Farm and Zoo in Samut Prakan province on the outskirts of Bangkok July 30, 2011. REUTERS/Sukree Sukplang

Left: U.S. Republican presidential candidate and Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann eats a corn dog at the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines, Iowa August 12, 2011. REUTERS/Daniel Acker

Bottom left: Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge speaks to people during a visit to the Summerfield Community Centre, in the Winson Green area of Birmingham, August 19, 2011. REUTERS/Geoff Pugh/Pool

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The duchess, a chimp and a corn dog walk into the bar…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

You don’t have to be a stunt double duchess to jump right in to the OE Blog!

Let the panda-monium reign!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Do corn dogs come from the same menu as the Satan Sandwiches?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

“It’s all in knowing how to read the results.” Geez I wish I was witty enough make a good comment to that because it’s just begging for one. To say “From left to right of course!” would be too obvious but not necessarily true. What if the results are in pie-chart form? What if the results are in some alien language that only Jeff Goldblum and his iMAC can decipher? It’s like standing in front of mall directory with a big “You Are Here” dot showing you stuck between JCPenny and Hot Topic when all you really want is to be considered cool enough to chill at the Orange Julius vendor. *sigh*

Oh and hey again Medo. Good to see you still hanging around. Yes we know it’s only a matter of time before you unleash your wrath upon the world. It’s all good.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Welcome to signs of the approaching pandapocalypse.

“Enjoy zombie bamboo shoots. Join the OE blog network.”

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

and the bartender says “

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@Doc – “he really IS starting to look like his dad!”

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Sorry RB, its the duchess and always will be.

@Onedoor: Kate *does not* go to the bar!

The bar comes to Kate…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

@Doc – “is that a corn dog or are you happy to see me…”

Posted by hoopsnake | Report as abusive

oooo… fwd is back and saving the Duchess in distress!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

always Shra, always 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive


“I’m sorry, Duchess. Because this is a joke, we allow only guests who are not usually able to talk.”

The duchess replied, “Only those who are not usually able to talk? You try spending a day with the Queen, and tell me if you can get a word in edgewise.”

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Postmodernism, Spin. I like it!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Yay, pandapocalypse. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive