News, but not the serious kind
It’s just like in the disaster movies!
Boss, can you hear me? It’s me, Johnson! Oh, it’s still night-time in LA? Sorry to wake you up, but I’ve got great news!
Well, I’m here in the Philippines, of all places…. They’ve “captured” this huge honking 21-foot-long crocodile which has already attacked several people.
Get some film crews out here right away, Boss, I have a feeling this one is gonna pop soon. I’m watching ‘em right now, moving the “captured” croc.
The team leader couldn’t be bothered to stop smoking long enough for the historic photo, but then in fairness, lung cancer is going to be the least of his problems. He’s about to drop ashes on the croc’s hood.
The “guard” with a rifle is zoned out, trying to remember the third verse to “MacArthur Park…” The Croc Mover they’re using is made of logs, and was state-of-the-art in the 12th century. Its axle is about to break, and the croc is tied down with flimsy knots that look like some Boy Scouts lost interest and went off to make s’mores.
Working title? Call it “Mondo Croc!” Script? Are you kidding me, Boss? This puppy is gonna write itself!
Top: Residents use their hands to measure a 21-foot saltwater crocodile, which is suspected of having attacked several people, after it was caught in Nueva Era in Bunawan town, Agusan del Sur, southern Philippines September 4, 2011. REUTERS/Stringer
Right: Residents look at the crocodile. REUTERS/Stringer