Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Stake Night on the Vampire Cruise?

September 6, 2011

Blog Guy, I know you’re a travel expert, and I need some advice. I am a vampire. I would like to go someplace where I don’t feel, you know, different.

Maybe I can help. I just saw a story saying hundreds of vampire enthusiasts are planning a vacation cruise on the the Zuiderdam, tailored to their interests. It’s called “Vamps at Sea.” Maybe you should try it.

Where are they going?

Just where you’d expect for vampires. Great Neck, Little Neck, Throg’s Neck, Turtleneck…

Perhaps you’re still not clear, Blog Guy. Those are “vampire enthusiasts.” I am an actual vampire.

I do understand. If you’ve ever seen an episode of “CSI” or “Murder, She Wrote,” then you know there’s always one REAL murderer at these organized theme vacations. That could be you, blending right in!

Ah, perhaps you are smarter than you look, Blog Guy. So you think a vampire cruise is a good idea?

No, personally, I think folks should mix it up on vacation, to seek diversity.

A really good cruise would include some vampires, some zombies, some werewolves, some criminally insane, a few wild hyenas, a few hundred telemarketers and spammers, 40 or 50 of the goofier 2012 presidential candidates and maybe a guest speaker.

A guest speaker?

Somebody like Donald Trump, just off the top of my head.

So you’d go on that cruise?

For sure. Start without me, and I’ll catch up in a few days.

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Top: Actor Suso Silva, dressed as Nosferatu the vampire, performs during the dress rehearsal of “Psicosis” by the “Circo de la Horrores” (Horror Circus) company, in Madrid April 17, 2009. REUTERS/Sergio Perez

Right: The Zuiderdam

Left: Actors dressed as Dracula (L) and Frankenstein (C) watch as President Barack Obama participates in a Halloween trick-or-treat on the steps of the North Portico of the White House in Washington, October 31, 2010. REUTERS/Jason Reed

Bottom left: Donald Trump watches a match at the U.S. Open tennis tournament in New York, August 29, 2011. REUTERS/Mike Segar

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Comments

What would Dracula say to this idea?
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Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
 

It’s nice that Mr O’Bama lets some of the senior public servants out, once in a while.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

Vampire cruise problem:
On shortest nights of the year.
Not much time to suck.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive
 

Top pic is not a senior public servant. That’s a Wall Street Banker … or its lawyer.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

I know what I am dreaming of tonight… Umm, maybe I would stay awake, just in case…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

“Vamps at Sea”… Does that include some dark red/black nail polish by Chanel and/or some alluring women?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive
 

OK, since I am going on vacation next week, I have to tidy things up around here. Also on them there Vamp Cruises. I will send ‘my crew,’ from the Fabulous Lakeside Manor on that cruise, thereby fulfilling Mr Bs fantasy of sending a Criminally Insane Person x 25, to take care of business.

Then, I will show up with my sawed off 12 gauge shotgun, full of my specially made wooden stake ammo, to ‘kill some time,’ as it were.

I hope that you are happy with this, Mr B!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive
 

Hey why the animosity towards hyenas?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

The Donald is nomming that popsicle something fierce. I’m picturing him with a corn dog, though…

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive
 

Do telemarketers become criminally insane if they continue with that career?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

“Vamps at Sea” – Cher and Lady Gaga on a cruise.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Mr ifly, you mean to tell me that there will be some some of those cute hyenas on that cruise? Well! I’ll make sure to wear my special meat pants, just to make them laugh!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive
 

One, add Christina Aguilera to the duo..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Unca, I just think it’s wrong to condemn those poor hyenas to a cruise ship full of spammers and telemarketers. There is nothing the hyenas could have ever done to deserve that!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

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