Drive slower, Ma, you can’t see over the mushrooms!

September 11, 2011

Blog Guy, I’ve signed up for one of your tours to Krasnoyarsk, that Siberian city you call Wackytown. I’m very excited!

Cool! Which tour will you be joining?

It’s your “Sunny Siberia Beach Holiday,” in December. You’re positive we’ll have lots of warm beach weather in December?

Sure. When it’s winter here, it’s summer in Siberia. At least I think that’s how it works. Plus, they’re in a different time zone.

Ah, you’re the expert. Will we get a chance to shop for some local produce?

Yes, there’s a side trip to buy mushrooms.

I LOVE mushrooms! Is there a big farmers’ market with lots of local color?

Not exactly. This woman sells the stuff from the hood of her car by the roadside. Her family collects the mushrooms in a forest.

That sounds kind of dangerous, what with toadstools and everything, Blog Guy. Does her family know what they’re doing, I hope?

I guess so. I’ve only seen the woman. The rest of them are in the forest, collecting the mushrooms. I suspect they’ll be out with a new batch soon. It’s been about four years since they last went in….

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A local resident sells mushrooms and pine nuts, collected in a forest, from her car on a roadside near the settlement of Balakhta, some 100 miles south of the Russia’s Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk, September 5, 2011. REUTERS/Ilya Naymushin

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BG, be honest…have you taken a side job as head of the Krasnoyarsk Tourism Board?

Regardless, it seems an easy sell. Where else can you find specially designed footwashing sinks 10/11/12/welcome-to-wackytown/ sharkless scuba diving 08/04/11/couch-potato-scuba-yeah-baby/ manly men 11/08/15/honey-im-on-my-way/ seasonal bungee jumping 11/08/03/jump-now-avoid-the-crowds/ a haute couture ski resort 11/06/02/just-another-blood-sucking-ski- resort/ music that soars to new heights 11/04/11/gives-whole-new-meaning-to-air- guitar/ and you can get a great tan 10/11/05/not-another-polish-joke/

when do we leave?

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

That’s the problem with leaving a trail of pine nuts to find your way back out of the forest. Your trail gets eaten by the birds and squirrels!

Either that, or they found wacky mushrooms and are on a side “trip”…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

May, not Mey, is Morel Month in MI. Oh for fresh morels and fiddlehead ferns. A steak and a glass of wine would round them out nicely.

Fiddleheads: not just for New Englanders.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Thanks, Onedoor. It maybe time to remind people of one of my all-time favorite items… 10/08/31/and-the-morel-of-this-story-is/

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Plus champignons pour les champions!

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive


Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Whoah..what a trip! From the forrest to the waterfront to sell the ‘shrooms I mean. Yeah, totally.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

So, we buy a bucket of mushrooms and then use the pails to build sandcastles on the beach for the December beach vacation in Krasnoyark, right? I’m all for reuse of items, and this sounds like a great opportunity.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

Mushrooms on car hood
Pignoli for sale also
Krasnoyarsk bounty

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

100 miles SOUTH of Krasnoyarsk?!? OMG it’s SPREADING!!!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

BG, I have to agree with Georgia… you really have it for that town, dont ya?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Mushroom – is that a facility for training sled dogs?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

How much for the car? My Pinto just bit the dust.

@Nosmo … don’t quit your day job. 😉

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

That’s chicken of the woods blog guy (  ). Very tasty grilled or sauteed, especially when accompanied by a full bodied red.

Posted by I_dont_know_1 | Report as abusive

@I_dont_know: I’d say you were in for a tazing, except that that link doesn’t work (i.e. teach anything), so your mushrooms remain uncooked

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@Georgia and Shra: I think the Blog Guy spends so much time in Wackytown for the simple reason that the University of Wisconsin Alumni Association doesn’t know about it… yet

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@JC – good point. I only hope none of them read his blog. Yeah…there’s a real danger of THAT happening 😉

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Client: “Half a kilogram of mushrooms please, and some pine nuts for me.”
Wacky Woman: “Do you want fries with that?”
Client: “Got poutine?”

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive