Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…

September 14, 2011

Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?

Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.

That’s great! I know it’s important to get the voices right on these audio things. Who are you using?

We assembled a stellar audio team. Actor George Clooney does Blog Guy. Here you can see him cracking up during a recording session, trying to deliver the line, “What do I look like, an ornithologist?” He just loved the material.

Wow, that’s quite a coup! And the all-important voice of your sidekick, Lamar?

That would be Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, seen here playing off of Clooney’s straight lines with his over-the-top wacky rejoinders.

And who plays Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge?

Catherine, herself. She insisted.

This just sounds fantastic, Blog Guy. Much of your material centers around the famous Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, and all those crazy faces. I can’t wait to see how you’re handling those.

It was a lot of work, but we got all the original subjects to come to the studio and make the same goofy faces all over again, just for this project.

But Blog Guy, if this is just an audio CD, I don’t understand how listeners are going to SEE those goofy faces.

Um. Er. Oh. Will you excuse me? I need to call the people at Amazon. It’s important.

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Top: Actor George Clooney laughs during the news conference for the film “The Descendants” at the 36th Toronto International Film Festival September 10, 2011. REUTERS/Mike Cassese

Left: Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin visits a local school in the town of Podolsk near Moscow September 1, 2011.  REUTERS/Yana Lapikova/RIA Novosti/Pool

Right: Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, reacts after Prince William took a shot with a hockey stick and missed during a visit to the Somba K’e Civic Plaza in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada, July 5, 2011. REUTERS/Phil Noble

Bottom left combo: Assorted Reuters photos

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35 comments

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I humbly offer a haiku:

The blog is on tape
With voices by the famous
I can hardly wait

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, this is an excellent idea.

If you really mean that it’s on tape, the BF and I might have a casette slot in our 1997 Ford Taurus.

One question… Will you sell the series at Williams-Sonoma for $299.99?

When does the series run — from the blog of which date to which date?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Blog Guy an ornithologist?
Biiiiiiiiiird Man!

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

The blog is alive, with the sound of stupid
With dumb things they have said for a thousand days
The blog fills my heart with the sound of stupid
My heart wants to make sure that somebody pays

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

The blog is offered on tape
You can listen with your mouth agape
You start with a grin
But then require some gin
Try, but you cannot escape

Wait. That didn’t come out right. Let me try again.

You can listen to the recorded blog
While going on runs with your dog
You can laugh at the gags
While sweet Fido’s tail wags
And your mind comes out of its fog

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Oooh, I can hardly wait. Me and Mr. Moonshine just LOVE watching the NASCAR races on the radio every weekend and this will be even better! We have a court date coming up soon…When will the tapes be available?

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

Thanks, Moonshine. The reel-to-reel version will be out first, followed by the eight-track format. And yes, I’m guessing with the name “Mr. Moonshine” on his business card, you guy probably does spend a fair amount of time in courtrooms.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Ah, that’s the Blog Guy for ya’. Keepin’ it reel.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Is it just me or is ol’ Vlad looking more and more like Mel Brooks?

Posted by LurkingLizard | Report as abusive

Mr B! Can I get Gunnery Sergeant R Lee Ermey to do the thingy where my answers are being uttered for posterity?

Come on, a former USMC DI speaking for a former USMC DI! What could possibly go wrong? He can speak for Dave, also!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Please may I be voiced by Pam Ayres?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

“But Blog Guy, if this is just an audio CD, I don’t understand how listeners are going to SEE those goofy faces.”

Blog Guy, simple solution! Slap a few daguerrotypes of the best goofy faces inside the 8 track boxes and call it the “deluxe edition.” And have you thought of a vinyl edition?

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

I don’t know, Crow. If I start letting the regular commenters CHOOSE their own voices, where will it end? Who knows who Spin would pick?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@LurkingLizard: I do see the Mel Brooks resemblance in Mr. Putin, but doesn’t he also look a little like MAD magazine’s Spy vs Spy?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

Recording the blog
Clooney gets to be Blog Guy
And the Commenters?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I’m thinking about Jeff Dunham to ventriloquize for me.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@69Spinster: Gak! You are right. Stick some sun-glasses on Mr. Putin and a pointy hat and he’s ready to sneak around magazine margins.

Posted by LurkingLizard | Report as abusive

I agree with Unca, ya gotta let R. Lee Ermey in there somewhere. At the very least he could voice Shra’s taser.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

If we are going to have sounds like the taser, we should have used Victor Borge (when he was alive) for the punctuation.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

She’s a goofy cutie….

*dreams*

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

@Spin, what about zombie Victor Borge?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

The real question mark (and I wonder how none of you brought this up before) is whether Eugene will be on the tape. Will Mr. Toilethead be voiced by someone, or act the part himself?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

I shall do my own voice over, and speak for my taser too, thankyou very much!
JC, you stole my idea! Can I zap him for that, pwetty please, BG?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Sure, go nuts, Shra. I love the sizzling sound your taser makes on the tape….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

wow, I can feel the love…

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

I want Joe Pesci to dub my zap induced screams

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Shouldn’t be a problem, climacus. You can read a comment where you explain a complicated concept, then Shra reads her threat, then I shout, “Cut! Stunt screamer!”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

hey, hey, hey…this is a family blog. I’m not sure Pesci can last more than 5 or 10 seconds without dropping an F bomb.

maybe you could use him for the director’s cut version

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Family blog, huh? Apart from the Simpsons, I’m not sure….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

D’OH

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@ BG – or the Bluth family

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Another good ‘scream’ sound could come from The Godfather… the horse head part. How about that instead of Pesci?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@Malt: sounds alright by me. In fact I want John Cazale (a.k.a. Fredo Corleone) to be me. Partial transcript:

jclimacus: I can handle things, I’m smart!

Shra: Smart? ZZZAAAPPP!!!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

If we can actually do this, it would be such a laugh!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

How about Samuel L. Jackson?

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive