Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You’ve been gut-shot, but I won’t ask…

September 16, 2011

Honestly, sometimes daily life in America just mystifies me. You take this story that says a  U.S. federal judge has blocked a Florida law limiting what doctors can say about guns to their patients.

The law was believed to be the first of its kind. With all but a few exceptions, it barred doctors from questioning their patients about guns in their homes or from having discussions with them about firearm safety.

Gun rights supporters argued that such questioning from doctors violated their right to privacy.

Huh?

I don’t understand a single word of this. I can honestly say the subject of firearms has never come up with any of my doctors, ever, so it’s not like they’re pushing a huge agenda or something.

I’m trying to figure out how on earth the topic might even arise with my physician…

* * * * * * * * * *

“Say, Bob, that’s a real nasty gunshot wound you’ve got there. Before I stop the bleeding I’d like to talk to you a little bit about firearm safety…”

“I have to say, those big burn marks on your cheek won’t go away if you hold your gun so the hot brass hits your face…”

“This little gizmo here is the safety, but I’ve said too much already…”

“Is that a gun in your pocket, Bob, or are you just happy you have insurance?”

* * * * * * * * * *

But if a doctor DOES want to bring it up, what’s wrong with that?

I mean, let me get this straight. They can warn me about the dangers of alcohol, drugs, unprotected sex, too much sodium, too little flossing, obesity, cholesterol, hemorrhoids, athlete’s foot, poison ivy, sunburn, auto-erotic asphyxia, lupus and sarcoidosis, but not guns?

What about other weapons? Can they talk to me about knives, land mines, alien death rays, garrotes and falling anvils, or does that invade my privacy, too?

All I can say is, I’m glad I don’t live in Florida. I’m happy I live someplace where if I show up with a Colt .45 stuck in my waistband, Old Doc can use that as an ice-breaker.

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Top: Man aims the Taurus Raging Bee Large Frame Revolver at an Annual National Rifle Association Meeting in in Orlando, Florida, April 27, 2003.

Left: Various stickers stand on display at the NRA meeting.

Right: Various assault rifles and handguns sit on display at the NRA meeting.

REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton

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Comments

I am still laughing at auto-erotic asphyxia.. I will read later :p

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

An Alzheimer’s patient and a firearm are a homicide waiting to happen.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

And what about depressed/suicidal patients?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Oh, no….don’t get me started on this one….

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive
 

The fact that someone thought this law was even necessary is mystifying.
What was happpening? Were a rogue group of liberal doctors actively converting the good citizens of Florida to become anti-gun lobbyists?
If so, what will they do now? Try to teach Floridians road law and get them to drive defensively?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

First photo: Do you feel lucky, patient?
Second photo: I’m all for arming bears.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive
 

Personally, I plan to ask my doctor during my next physical exam, “In case of a zombie apocalypse, which weapons are best for my health?”

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive
 

It’s Friday, a good day for writing a haiku:

Doctors discuss guns
Is this a good thing or bad?
Ask Floridians

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive
 

Amendment to the above:

I know what you’re thinking. “Did he write about auto-erotic asphyxia or too much sodium or gun control laws in his bedside manner?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is the OE Blog, the most powerful Blog in the world, and would blow your mind clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, patient?

I’m still for arming bears. Makes it easier for them to get the pic-a-nic baskets.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive
 

Frisco, look at the stock market indexes. Bears are the problem in this country!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

I’m a gun owner and an NRA member, but I actually feel that the law was unconstitutional, and I favor the more recent ruling that blocks it’s enforcement.

The doctor has every right in the world to ask about guns. And I have every right in the world to refuse to answer, lie, or tell him to go pound sand. An educated gun owner might point out “at least I don’t have a swimming pool.” Swimming pools, as we all know from the study referenced below (and several similar studies) kill roughly 20x more children than do handgun accidents.

Reference: Guns and Public Health: Epicdemic of Violence or Pandemic or Propaganda? Kates, Schaffer, Lattimer, Murray, and Cassem. 61 Tenn. L. Rev. 513-396 (1994)

Read more: http://conlaw-bloganon.blogspot.com

Posted by ConlawBloganon | Report as abusive
 

>> What was happening? Were a rogue group of liberal
>> doctors actively converting the good citizens of
>> Florida to become anti-gun lobbyists?

Actually yes. Gun-owner rights, like any freedom, are always just one generation away from extinction. Registration is the next step in the anti-gun establishment. Anywhere you can gather such information benefits them. I was told (true or not) that it was feared that many liberal doctors were asking such questions and reporting the results back to the Brady-bunch; effectively making a defacto registration list.

>> If so, what will they do now? Try to teach Floridians
>> road law and get them to drive defensively?

Not a bad idea, but more difficult to implement ;)

Posted by AnnieOne | Report as abusive
 

@Conlaw
Put the gun on the ground at the pool’s edge and back away slowly.

Posted by lemonttaylor | Report as abusive
 

Where is Shra with her taser?

I’m all for arming bears…the world needs more bear hugs.

Posted by TXadvocate | Report as abusive
 

I said, “Don’t get ME started.” Someone should have told ConLaw and Annie…. (Annie, get your goat, er, I mean gun?”

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive
 

A doc who can’t talk about guns
Really isn’t much fun
S/he talks about disease
Or dangers of too much cheese
My goodness that’s so ho-hum

I want to discuss guns with my doc
That would be an interesting talk
But in the state with hanging chads
They say that talk’s bad
As is anything said by Barack

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive
 

“I was told (true or not) that it was feared that many liberal doctors were asking such questions and reporting the results back to the Brady-bunch; effectively making a defacto registration list.”

That is one of the silliest things I have ever read. And I have seen some doozies, but that takes the bisquit.

Anybody who thinks that physicians are going to waste their office time collecting information to pass it on to some organization needs to look down and see what planet they are living on. Because it certainly isn’t this one.

Anybody here who ever had a physician who would take the time to do that? Oh, wait, that’s why one of my former physicians made me wait two hours in the waiting room one time! He was busy collecting gun information! That’s why he went into his office! He was using his secret decoder ring to access a top secret cite to report firearm information!

What a bunch of conspiracist yahoos. There are perfectly legitimate reasons why physicians would ask about firearms, as I’ve noted above. And, for the record, there are perfectly legitimate reasons a physician would ask about driving safety, too. I know an advanced Altzeimer’s patient who frequently takes the car out for a spin whenever her husband takes a nap. Last time, she couldn’t figure out how to turn out of the traffic cicle at the Village Square.

Freedom of Speech as embodied in the First Amendment certainly trumps some misguided, idiotic censorship of what physicians can discuss with their patients. As the U.S. Supreme Court once said “What erodes human rights erodes humanity, Stupid!” 38 MUC 99*.

*MUC is an acronym for “Made Up Cases.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Hey,Doc, I was right with you until the part about your Village Square having a traffic circle….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

You have revolvers especially for shooting raging bees? Wow.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

I’m just trying to picture how a physician would raise the subject of firearms if there were not a legitimate reason for it.
*************

MD: “Okay, turn your head and cough….hmmm…hmmmn. Have any loaded guns at home?”

Doc: “I beg your pardon! Is that some kind of a joke?”

MD: “No…hmmm…hmmm. Any pain during sex?”

Doc: “No.”

MD: “Just trying to make conversation. You have any guns at home?”

Doc: “No.”

MD: “Would you just say that into my stethoscope?”

Doc: “No.”

MD: [into the stethoscope]: “The fat man is on the roof. I say again. The fat man is on the roof!”

Doc: “Are you out of your frickin’ mind?”

MD: “Say, you have any naked pictures of your wife?”

Doc. “No.”

MD: “You want to buy some?”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE! :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive
 

Nice one @Doc. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

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