Not that duchess, the udder one…

September 18, 2011

Blog Guy, it’s me. I’m back and I need a fix. You’re the one who got me hooked.

Hooked? Oh, you mean….

That’s right, I need fresh pictures of a certain duchess, if you catch my meaning.

I do indeed. Feast your eyes on Chris “The Duchess” Walton, and her world record fingernails, more than 10 feet long on her left hand alone….

Are you insane, Blog Guy? Don’t play dumb with me. Does the phrase “royal wedding” jog your memory?

Oh! You bet! Here are the William and Catherine Butter Cows, on display at the Utah State Fair in Salt Lake City. The 700 pounds of butter from the sculpture could butter 23,000 slices of toast.

Wait a minute. I come to you for help and I get disgusting fingernails and a shot of cows made from butter?

Yeah, just a way of shortening my work load on a Sunday.

Shortening, Blog Guy? Did you really say shortening?

Yes. And besides, it’s not just one picture of the butter cows, it’s several. I guess you’d call these butter cow shots a….

Don’t say it, Blog Guy. Don’t say it!

…photo spread?

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Top: Chris “The Duchess” Walton shows off her Guinness world record holding fingernails outside the New York Public Library in New York September 14, 2011. REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton

Left: Butter Cow photos by Tim Brown and Nicholas White

Right: Britain’s Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge speaks to people during a visit to the Summerfield Community Centre, in the Winson Green area of Birmingham, August 19, 2011. REUTERS/Geoff Pugh/Pool

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I hope Duchess Walton has a bidet

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Royalty bovines
Better butter not bitter.
Never oleo.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Ok BG, who are you trying to butter up now? Or are you just trying not to be margarinalized? Por que??

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

No no no the snakes went on Medusas head, not hands!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Ghee Blog Guy, you couldn’t have gotten us some fashion show or stupid matador pics? That first one’s really churning my insides!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Let me guess,the Duchess Butter Cow has a French Cousin – Marge de Rine.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Bonus points for shortening. What the hell does Ms Walton do for a living?!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Thanks, Crow. I’m guessing she’s not a typist.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

They may be record breaking nails; but, I doubt if she can either break records or play records with those nails.

@jc: I think her nails would be more of a whisk than a churn.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

The London Dairy Pair rotates slowly to the “Londonderry Air”, revealing their London-derriers. A county seat sighting.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

What eyes….what smile…. thanks RB :)

Well, whenever you say RB, when she’s here blog is just white noise to me, nice one though 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

I refuse to believe those are real nails. I think she’s just twirling the insides of an old TV.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

I wonder how she goes…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

GeorgiaPeach, you have imagination lady… lol! I’m guessing you nailed this blog’s “comment of the day” right away.

She MUST be from Kranoyarsk.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

But the Butter Cow sculptor died recently. I read her obituary, and I was sad because I remembered the butter cow from the Iowa state fair. I didn’t see the famous butter cow, but friends did. Did an imposter create these?

One other thing… Are these butter cows on a wooden floor, or is it… Parquet?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

the Iowa state fair sculptor obviously did NOT create these. I’ve seen her work, and she was MUCH more detailed.

@Spin: I can’t believe it’s not butter!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I think the first comment says it all. well … most of it, anyway.

Posted by lceel | Report as abusive

I hope that Duchess Walton’s bracelets have clasps and don’t have to be put on or removed by sliding them over her hands.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

[…] need fresh pictures, but the last time I asked, you gave me a duchess made of butter and a chick with gross fingernails. So this time, I’ll be […]

Posted by Meet the Duchess of Holiday Weekends | Oddly Enough Blog | Report as abusive