Get my cell phone, Hon, it’s in the toilet…

September 22, 2011

Blog Guy, like most of your readers, I come here for news about toilets, which you cover better than anybody else. I was wondering, are women’s bathroom habits any different from men’s, apart from the obvious?

They may be, judging from a new survey of women.  Among other things, the survey asked about items that women accidentally drop in the toilet. Money, jewelry, medicine, toothbrushes…

It turns out the most commonly dropped item is the cell phone, which gives me an idea for a million dollar app – a smart phone that automatically switches to Speaker Mode when submerged.

Wow! If you want investors, I’m in, Blog Guy! What else?

The survey found on average an item has to cost at least $75 before a woman will fish it out of the toilet. Fully 16 percent said that NO item was worth going after in the toilet. My own guess is, when that Xanax bottle drops, you’re going to see some fast splashing.

A substantial number of women say they always turn on the exhaust fan, even in their own home, which is probably the last sound you want to hear when you’re talking to them on the phone. Well, maybe the second-to-the-last sound.

When they’re on the road, a whopping 60 percent of women said they flush toilets with their foot, which I guess is why you often see women hopping as they leave public restrooms.

Don’t men do that?

Nah, if it’s that gross, we just won’t flush.

Asked to name the most essential item for the bathroom, 78 percent said toilet paper, which was far, far more than any other item.

That IS interesting, Blog Guy. By the way, who sponsored this survey?

Oh, it was the Quilted Northern toilet paper people. Why do you ask?

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Top: Riders urinate during the fifth stage of the Tour of Spain “La Vuelta” cycling race between Sierra Nevada and Valdepenas de Jaen August 24, 2011. REUTERS/Miguel Vidal

Right: A toilet used for urine analysis at an anti-doping control center is seen at the stadium in Daegu, southeast of Seoul August 24, 2011. REUTERS/Lee Jae-Won

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I guess it was too private to show….

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

Ah, now that would be gross… too gross..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Agreed with @Billl: What’s up with giving a caption for a photo that no one can see on the bottom right?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I offer a haiku from a woman’s perspective:

“Yay — toilet paper”
A sigh of restroom relief
In public washrooms

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I’m fascinated by the urine analysis toilet. When I had to take an anti-doping test a number of years ago, I believe that I was in a small room, sans handbag, with a nurse outside the door. That was how they made sure we didn’t cheat.

In Daegu, however, I am wondering what they’re doing with those mirrors and if anyone is in the room at the time that the person is being tested.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

It might not be standard convention
But the Blog Guy has an invention
When things can’t be much bleaker
The phone goes to speaker
And that eases a bit of tension

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Bill and Spin, that was my fault. I removed that photo but forgot to snip the caption….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Thanks for explaining, Blog Guy. I’m glad to know that you weren’t teasing your readers intentionally.

In the first photo, I am looking at the traffic sign on the side of the road and can’t help but think that it would be funny if there were another sign that had some symbol for “urination zone.” Imagination for the symbol on that sign is welcome.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

“Most essential item for the bathroom” I assume this was an American survey. Certainly, TP is not the most essential item in this part of the world. Yes, very gross…..

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Funny – the top photo makes it look like the riders are playing the Carwash game and peeing on traffic passing beneath them.
In addtion to TP, I have a bicycle spoke in the car for on the road toilet-recovery emergencies.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Reminded me of UK’s Olympian girl cyclist peeing on side of road. 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Sir Thomas Crapper.
Alexander Graham Bell.
Please flush at the beep.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

that first picture reminds me of a line from Ghostbusters: “Don’t cross the streams”

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

What do they do? Brush their teeth on the loo? If I sense I’m talking to someone who’s phoned from the john, I’m hanging up.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@FriscoJohn: Excellent haiku, indeed.

@GeorgiaPeach: Great reference! That’s the only movie that I can almost recite from beginning to end. Important safety tip (no pun intended). Thanks, Egon.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

OK, those guys are peeing on traffic in the Sierra Nevadas and get a swell write-up in the OE BLog…. So’s howcome Ozzie got a 10-year ban from the city of San Antonio just for peeing on the Alamo?

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

I’m with the 9% “Other” category – hotel room key on one of those stupidly oversized key fobs that wasn’t quite long enough to stick out of the water.

Knit_Nurse says there’s a reason why her phone is waterproof…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

msg to Knit_Nurse: in this case, I don’t think water is the problem

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

They could mess with folks heads by putting a little message on the toilet mirror: Objects in mirror are larger (or smaller) then they appear.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Exhaust fans huh? You women harboring jet fighters in your restrooms?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

The toilet used for urine analysis can also be used to boost morale – you know, they say objects look bigger in mirrors.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

“To pee or not to?”
This is Willie not William,
Sir, stop cycling now!

Save it for later –
I’m having a doping test,
Don’t call my mobile!

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

2nd msg to @knit_nurse: We miss you on the blog!

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@ifly: As if we women were going to share the secrets of the ladies’ room with you!

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Spin, well that would explain why women go to the restroom in pairs. It’s gotta be a pilot/co-pilot thing.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

ifly, maybe it would be a pilot and bomb-aimer thing instead. More applicable, I guess…

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Ha ha bombs away!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Yep – bombs away. So long as it’s not a dam busting raid that is.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive