Paris, couldn’t ya just wear gloves?
Johnson, get in my office! You call yourself a news photographer?
What did I do this time, Boss?
I sent you to cover that Paris Hilton event where she’s pushing her line of shoes, but I told you NOT to make it look like free publicity. You know, it has to seem newsworthy.
After all, she is one of the 10 most hated people in America, AND she’s just trying to sell shoes.
It was tough, Boss. Every time I pointed my camera she held up a shoe and smiled, or crossed her long legs so her shoes were in the shot. I mean, normal people don’t just smile and hold up shoes, do they?
That’s a good point, Johnson. Maybe we can go for a tragic human interest angle here. You know, we’ll say she’s deranged.
Well, I did take the photos with de rangefinder camera, Boss. Get it? De rangefinder?
Shut up, Johnson. Yeah, I think presenting her as totally pathetic will work. I hope you worded your captions very cautiously, Johnson?
JOHNSON! Come over here right now! And bring de rangefindeer!
Paris Hilton poses to promote her shoe line during a news conference in Istanbul September 22, 2011. Hilton is in Istanbul to promote the Paris Hilton Footwear Line Collection. REUTERS/Murad Sezer