Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
I’ve got all your spam, Ronald!
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Believe it or not, I’ve found something even more irritating than getting spam.
Getting SOMEBODY ELSE’S spam.
Just when I thought unwanted e-mails couldn’t get any stupider, along come some spammers mistaking me for a guy named RONALD Basler. The actual screen grab above shows just a small sampling of the offers Ronald is getting at my e-mail address.
Judging from Ronald’s spam, which I presume is carefully targeted to his personal needs, he may be going through some hard times.
Ronald gets frequent offers of depression treatments, along with information about how the stimulus package can help him cllimb out of debt. Gosh, it even looks like his roof leaks and his oil needs changing.
I gather Ronald is looking for a new job, and there are opportunities for him as a nurse, an ultrasound technician, a school counselor and a pharmacy assistant.
Anyhow, it wasn’t until I saw the offer to buy a $250,000 insurance policy for Ronald for only $10 a month that I figured out how this e-mail mix-up might work to my advantage. It may not be totally legal, so don’t share it with anyone else.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Dear Acme Insurance Company, please accept my $10 and insure Ronald Basler for a quarter of a million dollars. You may list myself, Bob, his close relative, as the beneficiary.
Oh, I should probably warn you, I expect Ronald to be spending a lot of time way up there fixing his leaky roof. He has been very depressed lately, he’s in debt, and he may be tempted to jump, so you might want to set aside my $250,000 pretty fast.
By the way, don’t worry about Ronald’s burial. It’s covered.
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Left: Cans of Spam at a market in Naha on the southern Japanese island of Okinawa, March 5, 2008. 5, 2008. REUTERS/Issei Kato
Right: A person dressed as “Spammy”, the Hormel Foods Corp Spam character, greets guests before a news conference in Tokyo, December 11, 2008. REUTERS/Michael Caronna
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BG – if what Spammy has on his feet constitutes the shoes you promised Shra for Monday, you’d better brace yourself for the sting of the zapper!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5 RE I don’t like spam!
Welcome to the world of mortals, RB.
Georgia, BG wouldnt do that to me..He knows how much I love my shoes.. Dont you, BG?
I loved the print 500 business cards for $1.99.. I wonder if he could print out cards for all those jobs mentioned there..
He could be a spam artist.. I mean, scam.. duh!
Ronald. Robert. Easy mistake. Better double check to make sure they aren’t referencing YOUR credit cards though….
“When in a jam, break out the Spam, and join the OE Blog network.”
Georgia, it pains me that you think I would break my promise to Shra… http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/09/26/then-with-flames-licking-at-her -heels/
Vikings need not apply.
(subtle Monty Python reference here.)
@BG – I have no doubt that you are a man of your word. That was just a gentle reminder. You’re a married man so I’m sure you are familiar with that tactic
Baz/Lamar 2012
Maybe Ronald Basler actually attended the University of Wisconsin??
@Shra: The Spam Artist is depressed because he missed sculpting the royal couple out of spam. He was busy selling cheap business cards door to door after his stint as a roofer, um, fell through…
Yep, a nurse outfit for poor Ronald and a pack of Viagra for stimulus and his new job as a gigolo is just around the corner… Get your business cards now!
spam sculpting! This one is my fav. I love the Velveeta baby Jesus
http://lliissaa.com/2007/12/spam-nativit y-fusion-awesome/spanger-small-2/
everybody sing: Away in a spanger, no crib for a bed