I’ve got all your spam, Ronald!
Believe it or not, I’ve found something even more irritating than getting spam.
Getting SOMEBODY ELSE’S spam.
Just when I thought unwanted e-mails couldn’t get any stupider, along come some spammers mistaking me for a guy named RONALD Basler. The actual screen grab above shows just a small sampling of the offers Ronald is getting at my e-mail address.
Ronald gets frequent offers of depression treatments, along with information about how the stimulus package can help him cllimb out of debt. Gosh, it even looks like his roof leaks and his oil needs changing.
I gather Ronald is looking for a new job, and there are opportunities for him as a nurse, an ultrasound technician, a school counselor and a pharmacy assistant.
Anyhow, it wasn’t until I saw the offer to buy a $250,000 insurance policy for Ronald for only $10 a month that I figured out how this e-mail mix-up might work to my advantage. It may not be totally legal, so don’t share it with anyone else.
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Oh, I should probably warn you, I expect Ronald to be spending a lot of time way up there fixing his leaky roof. He has been very depressed lately, he’s in debt, and he may be tempted to jump, so you might want to set aside my $250,000 pretty fast.
By the way, don’t worry about Ronald’s burial. It’s covered.
Left: Cans of Spam at a market in Naha on the southern Japanese island of Okinawa, March 5, 2008. 5, 2008. REUTERS/Issei Kato
Right: A person dressed as “Spammy”, the Hormel Foods Corp Spam character, greets guests before a news conference in Tokyo, December 11, 2008. REUTERS/Michael Caronna