Then, with flames licking at her heels…

September 26, 2011

Okay, Lamar, I put you in charge of designing our whole new line of women’s shoes, so show us what you came up with.

Here you go, Boss, behold the new Feet of Fire collection.

It’s everything the young professional woman needs. These flaming tail fins send the message, “Watch out, world, my feet are on fire and I’m stopping for nobody!”

Those things look like a 1959 Cadillac Eldorado, Lamar. And not in a good way.

The dorsal fins help stabilize a chick when she’s running for meetings, Boss, and the flames actually light up as she runs!

Why would you want that, Lamar?

I don’t know, my 12-year-old nephew thought it would be cool.

Lamar, you actually imagine professional women wearing these things? I have to say, to me they look like something a call girl would wear.

Well, hookers need shoes too, Boss!

Lamar! Stop this nonsense! Do those flame fins serve ANY useful purpose whatsoever?

They can open a beer bottle real good, Boss.

Really? Hmmmm. Maybe you’ve got something here after all, Lamar...

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Models display creations as part of Prada Spring/Summer 2012 women’s collection during Milan Fashion Week September 22, 2011. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

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These shoes of Hermes
Podiatry mystery
Vanity feet sore.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

This just gave me a new definition for hot-rod 😉

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Gaaahhhhh! Those look uncomfortable. At least no salmon bars on the ankles….

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

I can’t see what possible good those shoes would be for stomping out brush fires. The heels are FAR too thin and sharp. But I do like some of the other suggested uses…. “Durn, my beer’s empty. Stick your foot up here and open me another one. Oh, and on your way back from the cooler, why don’t you stomp on those pesky fire ants….)

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

just in time for Christmas it’s the Lego Shoes Deluxe Edition with full color decals! Available exclusively thru Williams-Sonoma for $499.95
There will also be a litmited number of boxed gift sets sold as a special University of Wisconson Alumni Association fund raiser…GO BADGERS! 11/07/26/if-lego-made-shoes-for-women/

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Hmm. Maybe I could add some flames to my steelies?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

There, Shra. Happy?

Posted by grok | Report as abusive

Impractical, uncomfortable and ugly. Great combo. Do you think it was the shoes that turned the model’s ankle green? Or did they turn green with envy when they spotted some comfortable shoes?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Someone made a Pikachu inspired stiletto. How cute.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Oh come on, guys, give the poor man a break! He did it for ME!!
BG, you are a man after my own heart.. you give me shoes. So what, if they are impractical? They are still shoes..
Now, remember, you are to send me a beautiful pair of red Pradas for Xmas and another pair for my birthday.. not high heels, but medium ones.. a size 5 would do perfectly.
You have been given ample time to delve into that nest egg of your’s.

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive


Fast and Furious 6 will be featuring women in these shoes, both modding and driving the cars…

Classic Scenes:
Macho Guy: “You should stick that shoe to the passenger door. Would make a cool sticker.”
Lady in shoes: “Or, I could stick it up your and give you heartburn…”

Two guys, commenting on a lady driving whilst wearing these shoes.
Guy 1: “wooh, she’s burning rubber for good here…”
Guy 2: “…and by the looks of those shoes, she’s probably burning her throttle pedal as well…”

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive