Where in the world is Paris Hilton?

September 27, 2011

Blog Guy, I’m worried sick! It’s been four days since we left Paris Hilton promoting her shoes in Istanbul, and we’ve heard nothing from her. I’m going to start checking the hospitals.

I’m sorry, I should have told your earlier. She’s fine, she’s just in India now, promoting her new line of handbags and accessories. Here she is, above, at a news conference.

Whew! That’s quite a relief. What with her being one of the 10 most hated people in America, I fear for her safety.

I guess maybe she’s going overseas a lot these days so folks in other countries can learn to feel the same about her.

Does she seem okay to you? Did she do all her poses? The vacuous smile, the peace sign, the peering over her sunglasses?

She sure did.

What about standing with one foot lifted behind her?

Yes, that one, too.

Man, I never get tired of seeing those poses, no matter how many thousands and thousands and thousands of times you show them. So she gave a news conference, huh? Why haven’t I read anything about what she said? Why are you holding back on us?

Well, according to one of our blogs, she said that India is a beautiful country, that her handbags can be carried with anything, and that she has a friend named India whom she hangs out with a  lot.

That’s what she said? Okay, Blog Guy, you can feel free to withhold stuff like that from us in the future.

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Top: Paris Hilton poses during a news conference in Mumbai September 24, 2011. Hilton is in Mumbai to launch her new line of handbags and accessories. REUTERS/Danish Siddiqui

Combo left: Hilton poses for photographers inside a shopping mall during the launch of her new line of handbags and accessories in Mumbai, September 25, 2011. REUTERS/Danish Siddiqui

Combo right: Hilton gestures for photographers as she walks the red carpet before entering a nightclub in Mumbai, September 25, 2011. REUTERS/Vivek Prkash

Left: Hilton poses inside a shopping mall during the launch of her new line of handbags and accessories in Mumbai, September 25, 2011. REUTERS/Danish Siddiqui

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BG, is it something we did or are you just having a bad day? Why must you torture us with uh, er…THAT? :(

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

My heavens! What enormous feet she has.

In other news, the Pandapocalypse is upon us:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article- 2042347/Pandaaahs-Un-bear-ably-cute-cubs -snuggle-nursery.html

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

I would be sure to lookout for her line.. and incase, someone recommends it, would tell them politely to go and get their head checked.
I can be nice, you know O:)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Paris who?

Thanks @Nosmo. Stocking up on bamboo shoots….

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

That’s OK, Paris, I still love you. (Can I borrow $20 til payday?)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

We’ll always have Paris–>What a waste of pixels!
But thanks to Nosmo we have more members of the raccoon family.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

First pic:
Where are corn dogs when you need them?

http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/08/16/eat-it-off-the-stick-rick/
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/08/14/michele-bachmann-the-wurst-winn er-ever/

Sure would have saved us from her stupid ramblings and made for a better photo for the GFM&DS.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

So why do women buy her line of clothes? “I have always wanted to be a vacuous narcissist and maybe wearing her shoes will lead me down that path!”

Posted by Windmills | Report as abusive

Everyone knows what big feet signify! And where is the bowling ball, with Paris doing the perfect form of bowling posing, bottom pic?

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Oh, and by the way, Paris is hiding with Carmen San Diego!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Only in ‘The windmills of your mind!’

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

@Unca – Paris does not lift a bowling ball! She has people to do that.

well, maybe a one-of-a-kind designer type pink bowling ball if it was very light weight with mink lined finger holes, a diamond monogram and a diamond dust glitter finish. Paris might just say, “That’s hot”

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

“Mink lined finger holes”

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

While I applaud your peachy approach to explaining Ms Hiltons pose, every time that I hear her speak, my blood turns icy. Not hot!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

@Nosmo, “But these Giant Panda cubs, napping peacefully in their nursery, have a far more important role to play.”
Dude I got chills.

I can’t read this blog until those pictures of Paris Hilton recieve the proper application of the MS Paint rectangles. Those photos are much more damaging than beer babe cleavage.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive