Maybe the worst idea EVER?

October 11, 2011

People ask me where I get all the stupid stuff in this blog, and I have to say, honestly, the best of it is straight out of the news.

Here’s an example. According to an Associated Press story, officials in Georgia are considering saving money by putting prisoners in fire stations.

According to the story, the inmates would respond to all emergencies, including residential fires, alongside “traditional” firefighters.

I guess “traditional” in this sense means men and women who haven’t been convicted of a felony.

The story also says the “traditional” firefighters, who apparently don’t have enough to do in the middle of a roaring blaze, would be trained to guard the inmates working with them.

I am not making this up.

Boy, that’s quite a blaze, isn’t it, Chief? I wish those guys could climb the ladder faster, but what with those handcuffs and leg irons…

Hey boys, when you get inside, try to save some of Mrs. Johnson’s jewelry! There’s a lot of cash under the mattress, and don’t forget the drugs in the medicine cabinet! Oh, and Mr. Johnson’s gun collection!

* * * * * * * * * *

Say, Lonnie, you interested in a new program we’re trying out?

Sure Warden. Anything to get out of this cell for a while.

Great! Remind me what you’re in for, Lonnie?


Okie dokie. You mind workin’ weekends, Lon?

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Top: Firefighters work to put out a fire at the Magnablend Inc. chemical storage site in the Dallas suburb of Waxahachie, Texas, October 3, 2011. REUTERS/Mike Stone

Right: A man tries to extinguish a fire at the Fuentes del Norte bus station in Poptun, Peten, 240 miles from Guatemala City, September 16, 2011. REUTERS/Stringer

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I’d love to see Martha Stewart or Bernie Madoff putting out fires with the firefighters.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I’m guessing their next gambit will be to use inmates as police, which could begin a never-ending cycle. They commit a crime, they arrest themselves, and so on and so on….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I’d love to see Kate to put out some much needed fire. 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Back on the flame gang, eh?

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

top photo: interesting placement of the water sprays. Projectile vomiting and…uh…yeah.

maybe the prisoners could be sent in to see if it’s safe for the fire fighters to go in the burning building.

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Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Oh, firefighter, where art thou?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Good one, Georgia…
Uh, Townley, I see you can write your name in the ashes with that stream, but you forgot to cross your “T.”

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

I hope the Ohio General Assembly doesn’t learn of this. That would be the General Assembly that decided people convicted of drug offenses could carry concealed firearms, so such people could get jobs where carrying a concealed firearm was a prerequisite.

FYI, my adoptive kitty, Sly, is making himself at home in my workshop. He kept me company in my shop all weekend while I worked on the kitchen cupboards I’m making. He is quite demanding, since he likes to play every 1/2 hour or so and quite vociferously lets me know. “Felix” and “Oscar,” my two GSDs, know about Sly. I think they want to be friends. Sly, however, is not the least bit interested in making their acquaintance.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

My adopted rubber Crab thinks of nothing but murder, all day long, Doc!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

@unca … So if you turn up dead we should suspect George?

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Unca, one of my Koi, BigWig, is a malignant narcissist.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@Unca: I’m glad he was adopted and isn’t your spawn. I’d be worried if you and Auntie Remus were producing crabs.

Then again, maybe George the Crab can accompany the firefighters, too, and shoot sea water to help put out the fires.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Just because you like setting fire to something doesn’t mean you don’t want to put fires out. For research. Or something. Er…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Just wait. Soon the Blog Guy will be settling bets with someone’s firefighter’s felon.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Felonious firemen fiercely fight flames, finding fortuitous freedom.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Hey, guys, this is George the Crab. At least I don’t think of killing Mom and Dad. Well, not that much, anyway!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Hey are they using the felons as sandbags, or as wet bags to douse the flames?
If so, they may actually be on to something here – and I would second using Burn-y Madoff in that capacity.

@Unca if you still have crabs, I think Doc can hook you up with some ointment for that :)

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Nosmo, I was a USN Corpsman for too many years to recount, after I figured out that being a Marine was kind of dangerous. Which put me right back with the Marines!

Our solution to pediculus pediculosis was to shave half of ‘the infected area,’ douse the unshaved half with napalm, light it, then stab the little crabs when they ran into the undoused area, with an ice pick!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

@CrowGirl, I completely agree. Although I like to let them burn themselves out. It’s more natural that way.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive