Where’s the stylus for my new iPhone?

October 14, 2011

So, Blog Guy! I guess for top gadget writers like yourself, this is a HUGE day!

Of course. Give me a hint. The new Williams-Sonoma catalog?

No! The new Apple iPhone 4S. Surely you have one and you’ve already played with it?

Oh, um, sure! I went over at 7 a.m. today but the line was very long, so I bought one from a guy outside. My staff and I are testing it now.

Outside? Really? That sounds a little suspicious. Tell us some of the things it will do.

I believe it will let you exchange text messages with dead U.S. Presidents, but only the really bad ones. I’ve already heard from Richard Nixon and Millard Fillmore.

Also, it will grind salt and pepper on my food at restaurants.

Blog Guy, that’s enough! Can you tell me the most spectacular new iPhone 4S app? The one that is dazzling everybody?

It will stand in line for me when they release the iPhone 5?

No, it won’t, Blog Guy. Look at the thing you bought this morning and tell me what it says on it.

It says Palm Pilot.

Okay, Blog Guy, we need to talk. Can you give me a call?

Sure, just let me find some quarters and a pay phone…

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Top: Staff members try iPhone 4S at an Apple store in Tokyo, October 14, 2011. REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon

Left: A man wearing a mask of Apple founder Steve Jobs stands in a line to buy an iPhone 4S in front of an Apple Store in Tokyo, October 14, 2011. REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon

Bottom left: Zoe, a domestic shorthair cat, touches the mouse of a computer during a media preview for The Cat Fanciers’ Association 5th Annual CFA-Iams Cat Championship in New York October 10, 2007.  REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton

Right: A woman demonstrates the Palm 5 hand-held computer in Hanover, March 17, 1999. REUTERS photo

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Oh iPhone how I weep for thee!
I started a new gig a couple of weeks ago and had to turn in my iPhone. Instead I now have to use a Stinkberry with a fiddly little keyboard.

Sent from my stupid, non-touchscreen Stinkberry

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

BG, I think you need to pull out the telescopic antenna on your “iPhone” first… that’s probably the reason why you can’t make calls yet.

Now, just in case the antenna doesn’t work, rip it off, and voila: your stylus is ready!

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Yeah, but do you know how to write in that modified script with the stylus?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I do have a “smart” phone, but it’s not as smart as an iPhone. Good thing, since I am not an Apple lemming. (because I am too poor, and not smart enough, to own anything Apple) Hey, at least I don’t have a Stinkberry!

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

Bottom pic: Cat and mouse–Is this another bait and switch tactic?

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

@FriscoJohn: I thought it was “I can has laptop.”

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

4s iPhone

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Sorry–3rd pic, not bottom. Bottom pic reminds me of an old PDA I had. Come to think of it, it IS the old PDA I had from 1999, the PalmPilot and the “nuggets” of information I used to produce for display in a previous lifetime.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Apparently, it’s quite in vogue
To have the iPhone 4s, per David Pogue
But if I choose to ignore
All the hoopla galore
Does that mean I’m going rogue?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Is that Toonces on the computer?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Hey, is that cat looking at Internet paw-nography?

Also sent from my Stinkberry

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Seriously now, next month I am getting the second of my cataracts surgerized. My right eye is now 20/15, because it has been fixed. My lefty should be about the same. I have trouble reading up close with my right eye. If I have trouble with my left eye reading a book also, post surgery, can anyone tell me about the pros and cons of Kindle? I know that the print can be magnified, but before I buy one next month, I have to know of anything that is good or bad about this reading thing! Y’all can contact me at;


Thanks, friends!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

@Spin: yes that is Toonces, and he’s playing Road Rage 14

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@uncarastus: Friend of mine showed his kindle to his father who has poor eyesight and once the magnification was boosted, the father had no trouble with the text, even though it would only show a paragraph at a time. Needless to say, the father was hooked and will be finding something appropriate in his Christmas stocking.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Quarters and a pay phone. Ah I remember those days. Gee, I don’t recall people being so paranoid about germs and stuff back then as they are now. It’s almost as if people never heard of germs until Lysol invented them or something and now it’s a big thing.

Oh oh right..the iPhone 4S. Sorry, got off topic. Yeah, I never even owned an iPhone 1A.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Nosmo: your stinkberry worked! Amazing! It must like you.

All this techno stuff has me baffled. I opened the box and there was no lap for the lap top; and the server refuses to bring me a cup of coffee…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@Frisco: I was going to say something about finding things in one’s stockings; but, I haven’t been struck by lightning for a while and will behave.

Are they black lace stockings with something appropriate in them?


Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

FriscoJohn, ty for the advice!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Got an iPhone 4 and not interested in iPhone 4S, will wait for iPhone 5. :)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

[…] Guy, I read your review of the new iPhone 4S the day it was released, and found it ridiculous. You bill yourself as one of the top technology […]

Posted by New iPhone? No Siri, Bob! | Oddly Enough Blog | Report as abusive

@Onedoor: The server doesn’t bring you coffee? That’s because you need Java.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I happen to own this thing that is called ‘a brick.’ I wonder when the retro look will allow not to be laughed at?

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive