New iPhone? No Siri, Bob!

October 17, 2011

Blog Guy, I read your review of the new iPhone 4S the day it was released, and found it ridiculous. You bill yourself as one of the top technology bloggers in your zip code, and yet you didn’t even mention Siri, the phone’s incredible voice recognition feature, which answers questions and obeys commands.

I don’t think you even HAVE a 4S yet!

That’s where you’re wrong. I was just carrying on a conversation with Siri, and I’ll paste it into my blog to prove it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Siri, will it rain in Honduras today?

Without a doubt.

Thanks. You think I need deodorant?

Reply hazy, try again.

Okay. Will Michele Bachmann get the Republican nomination?

It is decidedly so.

Is there a new episode of “Homeland” on this week?

Ask again later.

Say, Siri, you have a nice voice. Would you like to grab a drink with me when you get off work?

Don’t count on it.

* * * * * * * * * *

So there, what do you think of that?

Blog Guy, you’re a total moron! Those are all answers from that Mattel Magic Eight-Ball! You’re using the wrong gadget!

Oh. Hmmmm. I did wonder why my music playlists weren’t showing up….

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Top: Luke Peters demonstrates Siri, an application which uses voice recognition and detection on the iPhone 4S, outside the Apple store in Covent Garden, London  October 14, 2011. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett

Left: A customer shows off her new iPhone 4S as she leaves an Apple Store in New York, October 14, 2011. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

Right: Mattel Magic 8 Ball

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I’d much rather have the Magic 8 Ball. Of course, when I took my last phone in to get a new one, the CS folks marveled that it still worked. One even said, “wow. I’ve heard of these, but I’ve never actually seen one. I didn’t know any still existed.”

hey! I’m frugal! So I used my StarTAC phone for over 7 years. What’s the big deal?

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

So, Blog Guy, now you have a Palm Pilot, maybe a stylus, and a Magic 8 Ball. Sounds like you’re all set as far as technical gadgets go.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Signs point to yes, Spin…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Oh no Spin, I bet the BG doesn’t have one of these: w/20111016/local/Say-the-rosary-in-Malte se-with-gadget.389298

Whilst Siri can point you to the nearest restaurant or cafe, this little gadget can point you to Heaven. Or so they say.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

I actually use a Magic 8 Ball to make most important decisions in life. It’s MAGIC people! It KNOWS the answers!

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

It told me to comment on the blog today. I asked it.

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

I personally like Ouija boards go guide my life and answer my weightiest philosophical questions, like “where’s the loo”? Siri-ously.

Posted by slick10 | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

Siri hears voices
Do you think she’s a crackpot
Or valid device?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

If one asked Siri, “How many technology bloggers are in the Blog Guy’s ZIP code?” do you think she’d know the answer?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Georgia: I’m still using an 8 year old flip phone, and it’s still going strong. You should see some of the looks I get around here when I take it out :-)

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

That’s a brilliant blog. 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Siri, Oh Siri:
On the new iPhone 4S,
Who’s the fairest phone?

And Siri replies:
You’re holding it in your hands!
Why did you ask me?

Then I asked Siri
What is your favourite catch phrase?
“iPhone hence iAm”*

— haiku licence, with apologies to Descartes.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Siri obviously doesn’t know anything! The answer in the first pic should be 42, not all that metaphysical mumbo-jumbo!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

So this app is one that when you ask it a question, Tom Cruise’s daughter texts you a random answer?

Sounds more like something I’d get on my Stinkberry.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@Jazzie, The reason it’s not “42” is that it was an incomplete question. GIGO, and all that.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

@Jazz – Dave’s right. Also, using Vogon poetry to present the question is never a good idea. As long as you have your towel, everything will be FINE!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Wait one minute there! I thought that using Vogon poetry was the ONLY way to ask questions like that! After all, if you can read an entire book of verse devoted entirely to lint, the answer becomes a trivial thing!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive