News, but not the serious kind
Playing Pachelbel’s Cannon at my funeral?
Blog Guy, not to bring up a depressing topic, but have you made plans for what will be done with your body when you die?
I’m arranging that now, thanks to several readers who sent me info about a company called Holy Smoke. They put your cremated ashes into shotgun shells or rifle cartridges, so your friends can shoot you off. Even in death, you can be helping to kill some poor creature.
Their Website says, “We offer a way to honor your deceased loved one by giving or sharing with him or her one more round of clay targets, one last bird hunt, or one last stalk hunt.”
Okay, you’re just making that crap up, Blog Guy.
No, I’m not. Whether you were a big shot or your life was just a flash in the pan, you can go out this way…
I see, now you’re just doing it for the cheap puns. I mean, this is one very goofy plan!
Stop it! How many people do you think will really use this service, anyway?
That’s hard to gauge.
I’m warning you, Blog Guy! So you’re sold on this idea?
Well, I did hit a brief snag, since I don’t know many people with guns, much less anybody who hunts. My survivors were going to have to find some gun nuts – excuse me, I mean sportsmen – to blast me off. But then I had a brilliant solution.
When I go, the Holy Smoke people are stuffing me into a Looney Tunes Acme Rocket, and shipping me to an appropriate cartoon character.
Wow. Fare thee well, Blog Guy, and Th-th-th-tha-tha-that’s all, folks!
Top: Around 60 shooters in traditional Bavarian clothes fire off salutes during a last day ceremony at Munich’s Oktoberfest October 3, 2011. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle
Left: India’s Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore unloads spent shells during the men’s double trap shooting final at the Asian Games in Doha, December 5, 2006. REUTERS/Caren Firouz
Right: Screen grab from Holy Smoke Website
Bottom left: Looney Tunes screen grab