Suddenly, it’s GREAT to be Ronald!

October 19, 2011

Blog Guy, awhile back you showed us lots of spam you were getting by mistake. It was meant for a guy named RONALD Basler. He seemed to be having a pretty rough time, what with debt, depression, a leaky roof… Have you checked on him lately?

It’s kind of you to ask. I’m still getting tons of this guy’s spam, but his fortunes seem to have improved.

What makes you say that?

Check out his latest spam, above. It looks like Ron’s got a sweet gig in the lucrative postcard-sending field.

Plus, folks are offering him good deals on cars and insurance, and he might be planning a getaway to Napa.

He seems to be treating himself to nice restaurant meals, even the Outback Steakhouse.

Best of all, love is in the air, and Ronald may be getting a Russian bride. Perhaps he’ll pop the question to her at the Outback, while they…

Hang on just a damned minute, Blog Guy! I can’t help noticing that Ronald is also getting spam from your own Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop!

Well sure, we might as well get some of his money before he squanders it all on his Russian bride at that steakhouse.

But…but…but…Why would you send spam to Ronald when you KNOW it’s just going to come to you?

Hey, I like museum deals as much as the next guy, and Natasha says I don’t take her out enough…

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Top: Screen grab of my spam basket

Right: An Outback restaurant is seen in Riverside, California February 5, 2009. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni

Left: Fishermen drink and watch a newly married couple kiss on a bank of the Yenisei River in Divnogorsk, a town south of the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk, August 13, 2010. REUTERS/Ilya Naymushin

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40 comments

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do they serve Spam at Outback?

Well, there’s egg and bacon, egg sausage and bacon, Egg and spam, Egg, bacon and spam, Egg, bacon, sausage and spam, Spam, bacon, sausage and spam, Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam, Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam, Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam, Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce
served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines
garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam.

(please tell me that SARCASM doesn’t smell like Spam!)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

U fudged that up didnt you?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I wonder if Ronald would be interested in buying one of these?
http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/5811023/ Pedals-yield-to-steam-machine
Or maybe he would like to try the new fashion item for men – stiletto high heels.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl e-2050300/High-heels-men-rise.html
If I squint real hard, I think I can actually see the end of the world coming.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

As always, I am captivated by the caption of one of the photos. Why does the second caption need the words “is seen”? Are verbs required for every caption? Couldn’t the caption say “stands”?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

Your spam has arrived
Ronald, see goodies in store
You’re a lucky man

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Spin, I normally remove obvious stuff such as “is seen” and “poses for photographers” from the captions, but I didn’t this time.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Of course Ronald would like a Russian bride today. It’s Wed’n's day.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

South of Krasnoyarsk? Is that anywhere near the middle of nowhere?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

A change of meter–a limerick (with apologies to They Might be Giants):

Steam punk bikes and men in stilettos.
Weddings near Krasnoyarsk make me forget. Oh
It’s the end of the world as we know it.
Basler’s spam surely can show it.
Ronald’s inbox has no regrets…oh

Sing: and I feel fine!

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

psst…Frisco: at least part of that’s an REM tune. (I know the local music!)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@Frisco and Georgia: Maybe Ronald is a shiny, happy person.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

As many time as I’ve seen #3, I’ve always been meaning to ask: In Krasnoyarsk, would a photo like that be considered to be a photobomb or the wedding party?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

“Ronald, see the Goofy Face Museum for free!”

Wow Blog Guy, the advertising campaign seems to be taking off! Now if you add a bit of SARCASM to your spamming…

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@GeorgiaPeach: I sit corrected. My goof. REM ’tis. I was probably distracted by the plight of Philippine pole dancers (both male and female)and the coming apocalypse.

See: http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/10/1 9/us-philippines-pole-idUSTRE79I11O20111 019

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

@FriscoJohn: Now you’ve done it. Soon we’ll see “Ronald, get a great deal on Pole Dancing lessons” in the Blog Guy’s spam basket.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Fellow commenters, in the first pic, we got a glimpse into the Blog Guy’s spam basket! It’s Mr. Spam Filter in the flesh (kind of)! Should we attempt to have a conversation with Mr. Spam Filter, or do you think he’ll just eat our words, as always?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Spin: I’ve always pictured Mr. Spam Filter as something like Charlie Brown’s Kite-Eating Tree, you never actually see him eating our comments, you just hear the cries of pain from the unfortunate commenters… I have to say trying to reason with him, well I’ll just say I’m a bit sceptical, but if anyone attempts it, I applaud the effort

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@jclimacus: Because the jclimacus without the 081 is currently peeling potatoes in the Reuters cafeteria, I’ll have to take your word for it. OK, @ifly, you go first. YOU talk to Mr. Spam Filter for the rest of us.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Spin: Perhaps @ifly could talk Mr. Spam Filter into securing jclimacus 1.0′s release?

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

…or perhaps Mr. Spam Filter would be interested in a nice steak dinner, or a Russian bride?

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@jclimacus: Sorry to bear the bad news, but I believe your non-081 persona is gone for Spamternity.

Maybe Mr. Spam Filter can make friends with Ronald, and everything will change for the better. They can go into the postcard-sending business together and meet some nice Russian women.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Spin: Sadly, I believe its true. I’ll be holding a wake to celebrate non-081′s life. I refer everyone to @Georgia’s brilliant opening comment of the day for the lovely spam menu to be served. Bring your own single-malt scotch, or beverage of your choice …

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Dear Mr. Spam Filter,
I have been asked to represent the commenters of the OE blog. It is our understanding that you are holding one of us in the cafeteria, making them peel potatoes, and judging from the cries of pain making them listen to a Celine Dion/Justin Bieber medley while doing it. While we do not know the extent of the offending comment to warrant such a punishment we are willing to negotiate for the release of our brethren. While we can not exchange 1000 Palestinians for their release we can offer these terms: for the release of our fellow commenter UNHARMED we, the commenters of the OE blog will;
-Make one (1) nice comment each about Paris Hilton next time she is featured in a blog.
-Learn to use commas properly.
-Take you out to a steak dinner at the Outback of your choice.
As you can see we are serious about the release of our own. We know you are a compassionate Spam Filter and will do the right thing.
Yours Humbly
iflydaplanes a.k.a Mr. Pilot
Representative of the OE Commenters.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I could bake him some goodies… Wouldn’t Mr.Spam Filter prefer some chocolate cupcakes to Jc-non-081?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@ifly: That is a brilliant letter. You represent us well and are an excellent negotiator. Thank you.

@Shra: You are such a team player. That is a wonderfully generous offer.

Let’s see what happens…

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Shra: you would think he would, wouldn’t you?
@ifly: Bravo, sir. Those are very reasonable conditions. Only time will tell

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@jclimacus081, Mr. Spam Filter is a reasonable spam filter. I think he will take into account your loyalty to the OE blog and your awesomeness and allow you to be 081-less again.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@jclimacus081: with ifly and Shra pulling for you (along with the rest of us) we can only hope BG can persuade Mr. Spam to free you from the kitchen.

Looks like Ronald got a bride and gave a mammogram…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@nosmo: please, not men in heels! It is just too confusing.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@ifly, Onedoor: whether non-081 and his comments make it out of the kitchens someday or no, I’ll be forever grateful for this spontaneous show of support from all of you, I mean that! I just hope that wherever he is, he has access to pen and ink, MST3K reruns, and some fresh pics of Kate every now and then…

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@OneDoor – October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. How nice of Ronald to sacrifice his time for the cause ;)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I just hope that wherever he is, he has access to pen and ink, MST3K reruns, and some fresh pics of Kate every now and then…

Well Jeez, jclimacus, that sounds like heaven….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

MST3K reruns?!? OOOOOOOHHHHH…can I go too? Please, please, please? I promise I won’t ask for anything for Christmas or my birthday.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@GeorgiaPeach: I’m sorry to hear that because I had just ordered something from Hammcher Schlemmer to give to you for the holidays. http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/10/20/ive-always-wanted-whatever-this -is/

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Spin – that’s so kind. Honestly though, anything from Hammcher Schlemmer or Neiman Markup would be totally wasted on me. Yes, I have expensive taste, but I prefer bargain prices.

Check it, Shra: I just bought 2 pairs of Carlos Santana shoes for about $40 each! ;) (no, boys…I didn’t purchase a musician’s shoes. He has a designer shoe line.)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I don’t know Blog Guy, I could add a comfy couch and my two cats to that definition, you know companionship to watch those reruns (although my cats are not named Crow and Tom Servo)… oh, and a carton of Moose Crunch Ice Cream, too, that would be heaven!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@JC – do you need a vodka bottle to slap?

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@Georgia: Sure, why not? I can practice my percussion skills on the bottle during commercial breaks. I’ll call my protest “Occupy the couch”. Friends are always welcome to join!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Hey jclimacus, hold off on ice cream comments until you see monday’s post. I’ve said too much already.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Well geez if there is gonna be MST3K reruns and pics of Kate let’s all head to the kitchen and peel some potatos!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive