Do we get a snack on this flight, or what?

October 20, 2011

Quick quiz: You realize your job may sort of suck if you…

a) find yourself on a flight from Malta to Tripoli

b) notice the card by your seat describes you only as the “Senior Leader-in-Transit”

c) are trying to read your PDA with your sunglasses on

d) are trying to study a briefing book and can’t recall if your eyes are open or shut

e) don’t even care when the beverage cart goes by

f) notice you actually have a DESK on the fricking plane

g)  wait. did you say Malta to Tripoli?

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Top: U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton checks her PDA upon her departure in a military C-17 plane from Malta bound for Tripoli, Libya October 18, 2011.

Right: Clinton works at a desk inside the plane.

REUTERS photos by Kevin Lamarque

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@Malteser can best comment on this one…

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

(h) You realize that you have just gotten the position of the President of the University of Wisconsin Alumni Association.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

(h) don’t write a humor blog for a living.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I’m thinking that “b” wouldn’t be that bad. “Hey, I’m totally the one in charge here. I can call the shots on this flight.”

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

(j) Your in-flight reading material is Blog Guy’s spam file.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

I think she’s Carrie Fisher to Obama & Joe’s Jake & Elwood 11/10/04/look-up-in-the-sky-joe/

Jake: It’s good to see you, sweetheart.
Mystery Woman: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.
[Jake falls to his knees]
Jake: Oh, please, don’t kill us! Please, please don’t kill us! You know I love you baby. I wouldn’t leave ya. It wasn’t my fault!
Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake: No, I didn’t. Honest…I ran out of gas. I…I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
[Elwood covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Jake removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and the Mystery Woman visibly softens]
Mystery Woman: Oh, Jake… Jake, honey…

Moral of the story: never underestimate the power of a smooth talker with soulful eyes.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I like (j)…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Oh and (e) is a good one too…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Georgia…You are in prime commenting mode. Some excellent posts.

I would offer an alternative woman-in-shades proposal: Linda Fiorentino/Dr. Weaver in MIB 1:

Dr. Weaver: You don’t want to eat me. I’m a very important person on my planet. Like a queen, a goddess even. There are those who worship me. I’m not saying this to impress you, I’m just warning you it could start a war.
Edgar: War? Good. That means more food for my family. All 78 million of them. That’s a lot of mouths to feed, Highness.
Dr. Weaver: You’re a wonderful dad, but I’m staying HERE!

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

@Frisco – definitely a possibility she’s a WiB. I’m sure she has enough stored up anger for either character.

BG – Frisco’s post gave me an idea. Could you swap out Shra’s taser for a standard issue neuralyzer? She could painlessly make us forget anything we may have learned.

wait a minute…how long has Shra had the neuralyzer??? Oh, I know you’ll CLAIM you told us and we just ‘forgot’. I don’t believe you, BG! That explains your aviator glasses too.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Don’t bother me, I’m studying the tabloids….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

FRANK!!! Sic ’em!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@BG – are you a Nick Charles fan?

Nick Charles: I’m a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.
Nick Charles: It’s not true. He didn’t come anywhere near my tabloids.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Don’t tell me you’re a Dashiell Hammett fan, too? I declare, you’re just about perfect!

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@BG – just about? That’s all I get??? 😉

my grandmother was a fan of The Thin Man movies, and I fell in love with them watching with her. That also made me a fan of any Myrna Loy/William Powell film. And any William Powell film.

okay…maybe I have a TCM addiction.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Ah. My mistake. I presumed you meant the book, not the movie series. I love the book, and everything Hammett ever wrote, but sorry, I’m not a fan of the movie series. If people drink so much that even I get tired of watching it, then they’re drinking too much….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

(k) you realize that you always have a squinty-eyed guy behind you either trying to read your smartphone or trying to decide if he is, indeed, sitting behind THE Hillary Rodham Clinton. (See first picture.)

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

(j) You have to dress respectably and accessorize with matching jewellry.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Being inside one of those is like being inside of a huge cavern.

The plane is like a cavern. Not the leader in transit…

Speaking of caves, you guys can rest easy knowing I no longer reside in one. I am now back in the land of the big PX. At least until December….

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

I adore the roman noir, BG. I taught all the Hammett novels in my noir fiction/film classes before I was reincarnated. You might check out the work of my friend Michael Wiley, especially his The Bad Kitty Lounge. He’s on FB. Now, don’t tell me you love Irish detective fiction, too….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Yay, Happy Lack of Cave to you Dave!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Stay safe,Dave…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Irish writers, Doc? That’s a new one on me. I thought they were more known for their cuisine…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Dave, until December? Well then let’s stretch October and November out as best we can! Ok everybody, PULL!!!!

Look at Hillary Globemastering like a champ! What the heck is that on her shoulder though? Do we need to kill it with fire?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Skullduggery Pleasant is the closest I ever got to Irish detectives…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Try F.L. Green’s Odd Man Out. Thumping good read. The Carol Reed film of the novel is good, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the novel. Plot summary: The leader of the Organization is on the run after being wounded in a daring raid on a Belfast mill and struggles for 8 hours to find his way to freedom through a tightening police manhunt….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

How coincidental, my mother is a senior leader in transit too!
Each day she leads the charge to the senior’s buffet.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Bartholomew Gill had a nice series of mystery novels; and T.J. English has a great read in “Paddy Whacked.” It’s a non-fiction tale if Irish American Gangsters.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@ Spin – I wasn’t online much lately and need to do some catching up…

I bet she realised her job sucked when she read on the newspaper that she was about to meet (Malta Prime Minister) Dr. Lawrence “Gaddafi”. Thankfully, the newspaper she was reading issued a statement the next day saying that the PRIME MINISTER’s name was erroneously reported as “Lawrence Gaddafi” instead of “Lawrence Gonzi”. w/20111022/local/Post-Gaddafi-Libya.3901 69

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@Malteser: That might be a candidate for

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Yep, seems like it would be one of the more popular posts given the gravity of the mistake lol. I couldn’t resist laughing out loud when I read that error correction.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive