Taking Siri out for a spin?

October 25, 2011

Blog Guy, I gather from your recent posts that you’re a big fan of Siri, the personal assistant on the new iPhone 4S who carries on conversations with users?

I am. I’m pretty dazzled, I must say.

So, have you gotten to know her personally?

Well, I don’t like to boast, but as you can see from this screen grab, yes. Siri sent me her personal, private phone number.

Blog Guy, you’re just pathetic. That’s one of those fictitious 555 numbers that they use in movies, which don’t really exist. Siri is just having fun with you. So, I heard a weird rumor about the timing of the release of the iPhone featuring Siri.

Yeah, it’s true. Apple released the phone a couple of weeks before Halloween so they can cash in selling Siri costumes for trick-or-treating. All the kids will be trying to look and sound like Siri next Monday night.

But does anybody know what she looks like?

Yes. She sent me this photo of herself. She’s sassy, perky, coy and confident.

So this woman who wouldn’t even give you her real phone number claims she looks like a fashion model in Russia? I give up, Blog Guy.

It’s only going to get better. On the next iPhone release, you won’t even have to punch that button to get Siri’s attention. She’ll answer if you just give the phone a whirl, spinning it around quickly.

That’s amazing! I hadn’t even heard that yet!

Really? You don’t know about the Whirled Siris?

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A model presents a creation by the winners the Grazia youth fashion contest during the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Russia in Moscow, October 22, 2011. REUTERS/Sergei Karpukhin

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62 comments

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hey, Spin made second billing today! You go, girl!

BG, maybe you should visualize whirled peas.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

That might be a contender for Virgin Atlantic’s Steward uniforms…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Georgia: Hahahaha! Nice comment.

Blog Guy, that is one of your best.puns.e-v-e-r.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

If you cut multiple strands of cloth on the upper layers of that red outfit you’d have Siri with the fringe on top.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

@FriscoJohn: Hey, none of your jokes. This is Sirious stuff. Roll those isinglass curtains down.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Spin – how Sirius can it be at less than $2 a share??? Is BG getting his own show? You can tell me, I swear…I’ll keep it quiet. Will SARCASM be streaming on the satellite air waves???

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@Georgia, what time do you get up, anyway?
@Spin, thanks, that’s very nice…
@Frisco, great minds. I actually wrote part of a song using Siri with the surry lyrics, but then went the other direction…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@69: too bad the model wasn’t wearing animal skins and a tiara with a hypodermic needle in the crown. She’d be the furry with the siringe on top.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

@BG – the time varies. This morning, I thought it was a little before 5. Actually, it was a little before 4. Oh well. I did a load of laundry, had time for Pilates (lots of fun with 2 dog resistance!), and checked my dog’s FB page (gotta keep an eye on what those young’uns are doing, you know).

I wonder if a Golden Retriever and a rubber crab can be online friends?

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Peaches, sure, why not? Does your Golden Retriever have ‘a soft mouth,’ for carrying George, on some of those nice, long beach strolls that George likes, though? Hey, it could happen!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

@Unca – I’m pretty sure that’s standard Golden Retriever eqpt…yep, he does. And he loves walks on the beach. Fair warning to George, my dog has been known get really, really, really demonstrative with his affection. His toybox is full of very well loved toys. He’s even been known to sneak a quick slurp at the vet. He figures if you get in kissing range, you are all his ;)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

That’s SOP for Goldens, Georgia. Let me guess. Occasionally he tugs on his leash to go where HE wants to go, right?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

absolutely, BG. As a pup, we had to watch that he didn’t chew thru the cord on the retractable leash. Now he’s all grown up (turned 5 last week) and a serious adult dog…who chases his tail, gallops thru the house, does a nice “upward facing dog” pose while barking, etc ;) The vet did tell us he would probably outgrow his playful stage at 15 or so.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@Frisco: You can keep your phone if you’re thinking that I’d care to swap.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, I decided to do your 180 for you.
From the musical “Oh, that Blog Guy!”

Come all ye bloggers, I guess you’d better hurry.
Get your iPhones out and listen to our Siri
Shall we order take-out with Ms. Siri when the fridge is shot?
Watch OE blog and see how it flusters
When we write them poetic busters.
Our Spam filters scan other posters and they get caught.
The jibes have Python, or Basler air.
Or perhaps some vague ref to Krasnoyarsk.
His faithful assistant Lamar is where?
What else should we commit to this farsk?
The puns we fling don’t seem to faze her
As long as Shra has her taser.
Watch as we slide down Occam’s razor and shall wonder not
If Blog Guy will allow Siri with the voice that is hot.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

I teach yoga, Peaches! Geoge does all that with me every day, as I teach. It’s amazing what a rubber Crab can do. He is also very patient, known to sit for months in the same place, waiting for me to release to do his wild thingies!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Frisco, I doff my hat toward you… Heck, I take out my Occam’s razor and shave toward you…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Awwww, BG! What can I say? Miss Siri loves company.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Merlin took a lot of yoga classes. He always took Siri with him. Merlin’s companion stretched a little too hard in class, but he wanted to help with sore-Siri.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Frisco, I’m just glad you chose that song to riff on, instead of “Everything’s Up To Date at Basler Airlines”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Frisco: brilliant!

@Spin: Hey, I think we’d love to hear your version of “Everything’s up to date at Basler Airlines”! :P

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@Jclimacus: Agreed that @Frisco’s rendition is brilliant.

OK, here goes…

I got to Basler Airlines on a Friday.
By Saturday I larned a thing or two.
‘Cuz up till then I didn’t have an idee
Of what the mod’rn world was comin’ to

I counted twenty airplanes
In the big hangar
Every time I went to OshKosh

And then I made a call
for some customer support
And a strange woman spoke to me, by gosh.

What next?
What next?

Everything’s up to date at Basler Airlines
They’ve gone about as fer as they could go
They went and built a jet plane sealed with duct tape
And then the “aerospace engineer” made his escape!

Ev’rythin’s like a dream at Basler Airlines
It’s better than Jet Blue any day
You can see their latest model on a laminated placemat
They can drive you to different places, what do you think of that?
But if you need to fly, their plane is likely to go splat
They’ve gone about as fur as they can go
Yes, sir!
They’ve gone about as fur as they can go.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Friends, either you’re covering your ears
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of an I-Phone 4S in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in OE Blog City.
Why sure I’m a smart phone owner,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I’m always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a multi-use device in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate multi-tasking
And a cool head and a keen eye.
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
In a Angry Birds game,
But I say that any boob can take
And shoot, an bag five fliers in one.
And they call that sloth.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day-shun
I say, first, your “harmless” app,
Then Xbox in your livin’ rooms.
An’ the next thing ya know,
Your son is playin’ for money
In sunglasses, and a backwards turned hat, on ESPN!
And list’nin to some big out-a-town Jasper
Hearin’ him tell about Texas Hold Em’.
Online!!
Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Friends, lemme tell you what the WORST is.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six apps in junior’s phone.
Apps they say that mark the diff’rence
Between an upstanding young man and a time waster!
With a capital “T,”
And that follows “S” and that stands for Siri!
And all week long your Blog City
Youth’ll be frittern away,
I say your young men’ll be flirtin’ an’ frittern!
Frittern and flirtin’ away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
With that sultry seductive scarlett Siri siren!
Never mind gittin’ dishes washed
Or the homework done or the trash taken out.
She’ll be stuffin’ your sons pockets with 555 numbers!
and that’s trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a’ trouble.
Now, I know all you blog readers are the right kinda parents.
I’m gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they’re chattin’ and texting?
Textin, yes ah say! Texting and chattin it up with that gal!
They’re tryin’ out words like “LMAO”, and “WTF”!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And fashion shows, in red fabric!
That’ll grab your son and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instinct!
Mass-staria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil’s playground!

(Chorus)
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in Blog City!
With a capital “T”
That rhymes with “P”
And that stands for Phone!
I – Phone!
We’ve surely got trouble!
Right here in Blog City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones respectable after school!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble…

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Okay, jclimacus, spin and frisco. I am awed. I am awedly enough.

I am taking a few days off to let the site cool, because I’m not following this onstage….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@jclimacus: I would say you’ve outdone yourself, but this is getting to be a consistent out-doing of yourself. Very impressive. With all due respect, it might be all right if your non-081 version stays in the Reuters cafeteria because you are doing a bang-up job with your comments.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

No! No! Blog Guy, it’s your turn to turn your awedly enough thoughts into a song from a musical.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Sudden thought: Wouldn’t it be funny if there are a bunch of kids reading this out there and they have no idea on earth what songs you guys are riffing on?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

“Sudden thought: Wouldn’t it be funny if there are a bunch of kids reading this out there and they have no idea on earth what songs you guys are riffing on?”

C’mon Blog Guy, just doing our best to edjumicate the next generation… oh, I should not have said that…

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@Spin: couldn’t agree more, I know BG’s got it in him.

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Holy carp, Batman!
Who knew we had multiple musical geniuses (genii?) on board?

Maybe we need to start testing for performance-enhancing doughnuts?

If Siri were overseas would her number be 0112358132134? That would make her a Fibonacci Siris.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Sadly I’m 36 and I don’t know what musicals you’re riffing from! But thanks to you BG I’m now buying my bf an iPhone 4S for his 40th, just for Siri!
First time commenter, long long long time reader!

Posted by Funkyk | Report as abusive

@RB: what if the kids’ great great grandparents are reading?

After the call is over
After the iPhone ‘s set down
After Siri’s voice leaving
After the apps are gone
Many a tween is texting
Can they spell whole words at all?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Thanks, Funkyk… These are riffs from The Music Man and Oklahoma. But more importantly, your BF is VERY lucky. Please keep coming back here….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Thanks for clearing that BG. Like Funkyk, I had no idea what you guys were riffing about…
I guess I have a lot to learn.. Offline, that is.

And coz its the Festival of Lights, in my part of the world, I will let that zap go for now.. ;)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Confused? You’re the ideal OE Blog reader – join today!

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Happy Diwali, Shra!

@Shra: I can’t speak for @Malteser, but I’m guessing that @FriscoJohn and @jclimacus081 went to high school in the U.S. Many high schools or summer theater groups for high schoolers in the U.S. perform Oklahoma! (it’s easy to get the rights to perform it) and/or the Music Man. If you weren’t a performer in the musical, you had friends who were, so you’d go to see these musicals to support your friends. Hence, a lot of post-high school Americans probably know the songs from Oklahoma and/or The Music Man.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Funkyk: Welcome! Please continue to comment. Tell your BF to start reading the blog, too — after he receives his birthday surprise, of course.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Spin is right, Shra. At our high school we did a musical based on the friendship between a Looney Tunes character and the wife of Harry Truman. It was called “Porky and Bess.”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

My humble addition to the musicla (Oklahoma) theme:

There’s never been a worser time to fly-
A little too early and waaay too late!
Starting as a reporter was our brave Blog Guy-
Still be living in a con-fused state!
Con-fused state-
gonna eat first rate!
Gonna buy you chicken, waffles and Poutine-aters,
No more pumpkins, spinich and termaters,
Towers on the tarmac where the fire engines zoom,
Plen’y of air but not much room,
Not enough room to swing a cat!
Plen’y of places to stow your hat.

Baas-ler Airlines, where the wings come sweepin’ off the plane,
And engine overheat sure don’t smell sweet,
When the pilot jumps right out into the rain
Baas-ler Airlines, Ev’ry flight my honey lamb and I,
cower with fear
and watch a vulture makin’ lazy circles in the sky.

We know we long to land (yo-ho)
And not fall into the Rio Grande!
And when we express
Yeeow! Aye-yip-aye-ye-ee-ss!
We’re only sayin’
You’re doin’ fine, Basler Airline!
Basler Airlines B.S.!

Posted by Nosmo__King | Report as abusive

BRAVO, Nosmo! I really think we’ve got a hit on our hands. Especially since Lamar is totally based on Jud Fry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9xQzazBK DQ

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I’m just a commenter who cain’t say no
I’m in a turrible fix
I always say come on let’s go
Just when I oughta’ say nix

When a commenter asks me to pen a haiku
I know I ought to ignore him just like that
But then I hear a 5-7-5 start to coo
I write a simple poem in seconds flat

I’m just a fool when comments are low
I cain’t help but add my own
I write and think and rewrite and hone
I somehow get into a commenting mindset zone
I cain’t say ‘no!’

Whatcha gonna do when the blog guy uses a topic
and you want to look at it microsopic
Whatcha gonna do?
S’pposin’ that he says
Something that makes your laugh hearty
And want to start a comment party
Whatcha gonna do?

S’pposin’ that he says
That Lamar has a new idea
and he tells you of the latest fashion show
Whatcha gonna do when he jokes like that?
Shut the computer off and go?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Didn’t do Oklahoma or The Music Man in my HS days. We did Auntie Mame (not the musical). I was typecast as the stuffy banker. But, oh, have I changed.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Okay, I didn’t really go to a high school. Not as such…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Nosmo, Spin: Outstanding! A tough act to follow but here goes…

Basler Airlines!
What a wonderful name,
Named for Robert Basler of OE Blog fame.
Basler Aeronautics, as a Shakespeare would say,
Trips along softly on the tongue this way–
Basler Airlines, Basler Airlines, Basler Airlines,
Let me say it once again.
Basler Airlines, Basler Airlines, Basler Airlines,
That’s the planes that “knew me when.”
If you’d like to have a logical explanation
How I happen’d on this paragon of aviation,
Though they never make their destination
The aerial chief
That suspends belief!
Basler Airlines,
Basler Airlines,
Not Continental, United, Delta, Quantas, or Zoom, but–
Basler Airlines,
Basler Airlines,
Basler Airlines,
They’ll take ya home!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

People should have to pay good money to read comments like these. They shouldn’t get them for free…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Blog Guy: Technically, it comes out of US taxpayer money. http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/08/03/ill-have-the-satan-sandwich-sug ar-coated/

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Thanks for your encouragement guys! And my boyfriend will be reading the blog now as he already knows about his present – but didn’t know about my guilty pleasure of reading the OE blog till last night!

Posted by Funkyk | Report as abusive

@Nosmo: love the song
@BG: love Porky and Bess! I went to a small parochial school and we didn’t have musical theater. I did attend a summer program in the public school system. They produced “South Pacific” and I got picked to stand on a table in the nightclub scene and sing “Fan Tan Fanny.” Ain’t been right since.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Onedoor, not to second-guess you or anything, but I don’t even remember that song. Could it have been “Bloody Mary” or “I’m Gonna Wash that Man Right out of my Hair?”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Silly me! I told you I haven’t been right since then. That and I was still working on dinner. It was “Flower Drum Song.” See if that helps, BG.

Fan Tan Fanny was leaving her man
Fan Tan Fanny kept waving her fan…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

The guidance counselor never mentioned table dancing.

Sister Merry Bambi would have had good balance back then. Now, I tend to be a little off balance (snicker).

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Heh heh heh, Onedoor. You can’t get something like that past me. Okay, at least not past Lamar….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Wow… I am in awe in all of you… its like being a kid again and watching superstars/idols performing on stage for the very first time… and ofcourse I am staring in wide-eye wonder at the costumes..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

This is what happens when Siri breaks down and you miss your Country Roads.

“I hear her voice, in the morning hour she calls me,
The radio reminds me of my home far away.
And driving down the road I get the feeling
That I should have been home yesterday, Siri-ously!”

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Bring it on home, Malt:

Country Roads,
take me to Roscoe’s
It’s The place I want to dine
Siri mis-led me
And no-one’s fed me
Take me to Roscoes,
Country Roads

Posted by Nosmo__King | Report as abusive

Oh gosh,Malt, I love you for getting Country Roads in..
Its one of my fav Jon Denver songs!

Sing along, everyone!!

Times Critic Review: the OE Blog Musical, was a hit, even before it hit the stage :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Speaking of costumes, @Shra, apparently, if you ask Siri what she is wearing, she says, ““Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?”
http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/1 4/siri-is-one-funny-lady/

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

To continue with the genre, this might have been sung by Nicely Nicely Basler:

I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven
And by some chance I had brought Siri along
And there I stood
And I hollered “Siri, answer me”
But the passengers, they knew the 4s from the Droid

For the people all said sit down
Sit down, you’re rockin’ the boat

The people all said sit down
Sit down you’re rockin’ the boat

And Siri will book your diary
To the sharp tone from your throat
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down you’re rockin’ the boat

I sailed away on that little boat to heaven
And by some chance found that Siri answered my last query
And there I stood,
Nicely appreciating Siri-Dearie
But the passengers were bound to resist

For the people all said beware
You’re on a heavenly trip
People all said beware
Beware, you’ll scuttle the ship.

And Siri will book your diary
A finer program Jobs never wrote
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down, you’re rockin’ the boat

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Great, Spin. Glad to see you’re not Runyon out of ideas….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, some might argue that mine is a Loesser version of the song.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Geez Blog Guy, I took your advice and broke down and bought one of the new iPhone 4S’s. At first it was fine, took it out of the box, plugged it in, etc. Then I asked Siri a question:

jclimacus081: “Siri, can you tell me which theaters are showing Anonymous this weekend?

Siri: “Sure thing honey, but the name’s not Siri.”

jclimacus081: “Uhm, sorry?”

not Siri: “No I’m Debi, a special prototype. Debi Hari actually. Hit it boys!

Colour me your iPhone, baby
Colour me your heart
Roll out the red carpet, darling
I know who you are
Come up off your keyboard baby
I know where you blog!
Call me, on the line
Call me, at 555, any, anytime
Call me, jclim, you can call me any day or night
Call me!

Cover me with new apps, baby
Cover me with smiles
Roll me in designer clothing
Russian models are just fine
Emotions come I don’t know why
Ain’t it something, this new AI?
Call me, on the line
Call me, at 555, any, anytime
Call me and we’ll blog all day
Call me, call me any day or night
Call me!

Got commentor’s block? I’ll solve it baby
In any language that you like
Ooh, amore, chiamami chiamami.
Oo, appelle-moi mon cherie, appelle-moi
I’m an app anytime, anyplace, anywhere
Dump that Stinkberry, Android, with a touch of flair
Take me out and show me off
Put me on the scene
Dress me in the fashions of the sassy, perky
Zombie fashion queens
Ask me, ask me
Any thing you want to know
I’ll find the best steak in town
Or the nearest musical Broadway show
Oh, call me, ooh ooh ahhhhhh!
Call me.
Call me, call me, any, anytime…”

It’s been singing for six hours, and frankly I’m scared to go near the thing. Help!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Hey, Dave! They designed this one with you in mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q0kd5LlA Nk

Daisy, Daisy…

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive