Attention! Everything has been recalled!

November 1, 2011

Blog Guy, I guess you’ve been reading about the huge recall of cantaloupes because of that deadly listeria outbreak?

Yes, but recalls in general are coming too fast to count. In the past month, we’ve had stories about recalls of lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, brewers yeast tablets, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, organic eggs, frozen tuna

Oh, I know all about that tuna recall. I’m piling my supply in my Chevy Equinox right now and driving it right back to the supermarket…

Your Equinox? Did you see that GM just recalled 36,000 of those and GMC Terrains to fix the tire pressure monitoring system?

No! Okay, I’ll return the tuna on my motorcycle, then.

I hope it’s not one of the 308,000 motorcycles that Harley-Davidson just recalled because of rear brake light switch problems.

This is very serious, Blog Guy! My cupboards are bare. I’ve got nothing to even cook on my GE gas rangetop!

It’s probably just as well. They just recalled a bunch of those because of an “explosion hazard.”

Fine. I’ll just sit here and starve. At least I’ll be comfortable in my glider recliner.

Oh, about that. Big Lots just recalled about 375,000 of those because of an “entrapment hazard.”

Jeez! And I moved up here to Wisconsin because I thought I’d be safe!

You live in Wisconsin? I see they’re trying to recall your governor

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Top: The label from a package of recalled Nancy Adams Classics Mini S’mores in an undated handout image. Credit: Reuters/U.S. Food and Drug Administration/Handout

Left: A GE Monogram Pro Rangetop with Grill in an undated handout photo. REUTERS/Consumer Product Safety Commission/Handout

Right: “Total Recall” movie poster

Bottom right: President Barack Obama holds a Green Bay Packers NFL football jersey given to him by Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (L) in Green Bay, Wisconsin, January 26, 2011. REUTERS/Larry Downing

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29 comments

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I was under the impression that the entire state of Wisconsin was being recalled? Or was it that the U of Wisconsin Alumnii Asstn. is calling again everybody? Sorry, things are not exactly clear after my spell in Robert’s basement.

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

kale chips? NOOOOOOOO! Say it ain’t so. How will I ever survive without my kale chips?!? What will I eat with my soy burger? Oh, nevermind. This weight loss plan just keeps getting easier and easier.

BG, when you do get elected, this phrase is evidently VERY important to know: “I don’t recall.” Learn it. Know it. Live it. ;)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Even Cain is able to recall…..

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

I wish to be recalled.

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

My dear wife’s phone was busy and I had to recall it, like, twenty times.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

The amusing thing about vehicle safety recalls is that the company expects you to drive the vehicle in, apparently ignoring the fact that they just pronounced it unsafe to do so.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Oooh, I’ve got stove envy…. I’d hazard the hazard to have a cool gas rangetop like that!

…and when did POTUS change his name to Woodson?

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

This dude, Yang Junsheng, now known as “the luckiest dude EVER”, was fortunate not to have been recalled.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/pictureg alleries/picturesoftheday/8859552/Pictur es-of-the-day-31-October-2011.html?image =8

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Whoa… that is some picture^ I must say, I can’t recall ever seeing such a close call since the bathroom stall where I breached protocol…

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

Should mini Smores not be called Slesses?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Slesses? That’s a word I don’t know, Crow. Would you mind explaining it in great detail?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

It depends… I could be wrong; I’m just making assumptions. Perhaps you’d care to educate me as to the derivation of “S’mores”?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

We seem to be at an impasse, Crow. I can’t tell you what S’mores are and you can’t tell me about Slesses, all because of you-know-who….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I like impasses.

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Yeah I see the problem – there is no possible way to accurately describe the process of attaching a gooey marshmallow to a wine biscuit base, without being educational.
Hmm, I shall have to consider how to go about this.

Posted by Nosmo__King | Report as abusive

Mini S’Mores to be called S’Lesses. I think I More or Less understand where Crow is going on this one.

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

Oh come on, take the zap already! Slesses is the plural of one sless. There, now you know BG. Was it really that hard CG?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Nosmo – it’s a “wine” biscuit base? Ooh.

S’lesses, as in there’s less of them, on account of them being mini S’mores. Though they look like Tunnocks Teacakes to me. http://www.tunnock.co.uk/teacake.html

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Zap them Shra, zap them all

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Ok you guilty lot.. line up now!
1, 2, 3… Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppp!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Ouch!
Dang it, the burns had just healed from the last one.
Well at least I’m fully awake now.

I prefer Jaffa Cakes to Tunnocks, though.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Ooh, warming and tingly!

Nosmo, are you familiar with Tunnocks Caramel Wafers? Food of the gods…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

No I have not had the pleasure of Tunnocks Caramel Wafers. I shall have to order them in my next ‘Red Cross’ package from the U.K.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Shraaaaa, could you kindly turn down the power a little next time? Not only the zap zapped me unconscious for a while, it blew away the light bulbs at home… thank you, dear.

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Wait until they recall the U.S. dollar because too many are in circulation. Don’t worry, the government will give you a brand new, stronger dollar to replace every one hundred of your “old” weaker dollars.

Posted by DisgustedReader | Report as abusive

@Shra: pay no attention to justM, turn it up, we’ve got a troll in here!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

huh? what? where?? Why on earth are we having a dollar discussion all of a sudden?
Am I missing something? Is it too much meddies?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Bob, are you aware that you have been recalled to proof obituary columns on the Choctaw Plaindealer in Lexington, Mississippi? Only kidding; not everyone likes to be reminded of their origins, and there is no shame is being born and bred in a swamp; also, not everyone could stand up to chronic malarial infection they way you have. And there’s still not many people who credit those stories of you knocking over seven elevens in Mantachie; after all, you were only 13 then, and didn’t know any better, even it was you.

Posted by daxusII | Report as abusive

Thank goodness I haven’t had to return anything yet. I don’t think that many people are really hurt by the recalls, it is a very very very small percentage in comparison to the billions of working (or decently working) items in the market.

Posted by Gabish90 | Report as abusive