Join the army, and pamper yourself!

November 11, 2011

Now, if you just sign on the dotted line, son, it’ll be official. You’ll be a private in the U.S. Army.

I don’t know sir, I’m still not sure about this.

Look, I’m a professional recruiter, so I have to be totally honest with you. What’s holding you back, young man?

Well, I’ve seen a lot of movies about the soldier’s life, living in damp tents or slummy barracks…

Why didn’t you say so? Just look at this picture of a new recruit in his own room at basic training. These are the new barracks.

Wow, that’s a whole lot nicer than my room at home! What about the food?

Best food in the world, son. Rich celebrities come to our bases just for the chow. You could find yourself dining next to Angelina Jolie, like this Marine here!

The mess hall staff is top notch, too. Fancy being served a sizzling steak by Michelle Obama?

I had no idea she does stuff like that! This is looking like a pretty good deal. But status is important to me. Do I have to start out as a private?

Hmmmm. I don’t normally do this, but why don’t I pencil in here that you’d prefer to enlist as a major.

Well, that seals the deal! I’m in!

Welcome to the New Army, Major!

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Top: A U.S. soldier looks on inside Saddam Hussein’s former bedroom at Al-Faw palace within Victory Base Compound in Baghdad November 7, 2011. REUTERS/Saad Shalash

Left: Actress Angelina Jolie eats a meal with a U.S. Marine at the Green Zone in Baghdad, February 7, 2008. REUTERS/James Deady/U. S. Department of Defense/Handout

Right: First lady Michelle Obama serves steaks to U.S. servicemen during her visit at the U.S. airbase in the German town of Ramstein, November 11, 2010. REUTERS/Kai Pfaffenbach

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Happy Veteran’s Day, and THANK YOU 😛

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I had a lovely lunch of a chicken goujon wrap and chips..
If only I was served by a hunky Mr. Fab Abs. ((sigh))

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Maybe it’s the angle of the camera lens but that bed looks a might short, unless you want to sleep on the diagonal.

A vacation in a foreign land
Uncle Sam does the best he can
You’re in the army now
Oh, oh, you’re in the army now.

Thanks to all who served over there AND the ones they left behind here.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Not to leave out the other branches of the military, too.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Happy Veterans Day!

I humbly offer a haiku:

Joining the army
It’s not what you imagine
It is much better

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Angelina seems to be saying to her table mate, “If I have to eat this crap, so do you, Soldier.”

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

Yes, Happy Veterans Day to all our current and former soldiers from me and my two vets, Mr. Moonshine and Staff Sergeant Moonshine Jr. We’re celebrating with MREs for dinner….NOT!

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

@Moonshine: My thoughts of safety and appreciation go out to your son.

In fact, I offer him and others a haiku:

Thanks to all our vets
And to servicepeople now
You’re admirable

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Happy Veterans Day, Dave, Doc, Bobby Blogger, and whoever else that served our country!

I am staggering with a pounding headache, from celebrating the USMCs birthday yesterday, after mixing an entire bottle of rum with water, to recreate the initial Marines drinking grog in the Old Corps!

Dave! Semper Fi, do or die! Oorah!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Wow. Way to go hard Corps Unca. Thanks, and a happy belated birthday to you, and happy Veteran’s Day to all of my fellow and sister vets.

“Forget the Army, join the OE blog network!”

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Thanks to all our vets
your devotion and honor
humbles all of us

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

I have found MREs to be quite good actually.

To all those who serve and have served, we would not have the freedom we enjoy without your bravery and sacrifices. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy the privileges I do living in this great country. Also I am pretty sure we wouldn’t have the OE blog either so a whole bunch of thanks for that too! 😀

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Extended Happy Veterans Day! Parade in town here tomorrow that will keep our hearts warm even if it is cool outside.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Thanks, Spin,
I have passed your haiku (and the others) along to the Ssgt. – He’ll appreciate it.

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive