News, but not the serious kind
Okay, so maybe it’s a strange hobby…
Blog Guy, I hate to bother you, but I need your help with something.
See, I maintain an extensive world map with color-coded pins showing everywhere Paris Hilton has been in the last 10 years, you know, day by day.
Really? Then I don’t think I can give you the kind of help it sounds like you need.
So anyway, due to some unfortunate binge drinking-related blackouts, I seem to be missing a few key dates. For instance, August 8, 2004.
Thank you! Let me grab a yellow pin here… Uh, what about June 3, 2007?
That’s an easy one. She was in jail. Here’s her booking photo.
Jail, huh? Okay, that’ll be a blue pin for that one. I’ve got one more missing day. You got any info on last Sunday?
She was in Spain, at the Valencia Motorcycle Grand Prix. Look, pal, it’s not my place to say, but maybe you should either drop the Paris Hilton obsession or else stop the binge drinking?
I know, but they just seem so interconnected…
Top: U.S. socialite Paris Hilton smiles at the ‘Blusens by Paris Hilton Racing’ team box during the Valencia Motorcycle Grand Prix at the Ricardo Tormo racetrack in Cheste, near Valencia, Spain, November 6, 2011. REUTERS/Albert Gea
Right: Hilton arrives in the pickup truck used on her reality program for the 2004 Teen Choice Awards at the Universal Amphitheater in Los Angeles, August 8, 2004. REUTERS/John Hayes
Left: Hilton in a booking photo released by Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department June 4, 2007. REUTERS/Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department/Handout
Bottom right: Hilton walks by the pit lane during the Valencia Motorcycle Grand Prix. REUTERS/Albert Gea