Hey, I never said I’m proud of myself!
Blog Guy, I’ve just started a new blog, and I could use some advice from a veteran like yourself. What do you do if you want to get a lot of traffic, but you don’t want to work very hard for it?
Yes, but just between you and me. If you wanted to pander, just once, what would you do?
I’d go for a wide audience. I’d anchor it with a really good new photo of Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge. A close-cropped face shot, just oozing with charm.
Very interesting. And then?
Then I’d raise the stakes with a panda sticking out his tongue or something very cute like that. Pandas are solid gold.
Oh yes, a panda is a dandy way to pander.
That’s easy for you to say. What else?
I’ve been known to dress a dog up. You know, red nose, sunglasses. Maybe a little hat. I’m not proud of it. But it’s worth it when people start sending the blog to each other, and everybody goes up to the top of the item and clicks the “recommend” button, like they should be doing now.
So, Blog Guy, what if you use the duchess, the panda and the dog, and it still doesn’t work?
Ah. Well, that’s what Victoria’s Secret fashion shows are for, isn’t it?
Top: Britain’s Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, talks to guests at a reception in aid of the National Memorial Arboretum Appeal at St James’s Palace, London, November 10, 2011. REUTERS/Lefteris Pitarakis/Pool
Left: Panda Po sticks out its tongue inside its enclosure at the Madrid Zoo & Aquarium November 11, 2011. REUTERS/Sergio Perez
Right: A dog dressed for carnival is pictured in the streets at the start of the carnival in Cologne November 11, 2011. REUTERS/Ina Fassbender
A Victoria’s Secret model presents a creation during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show at the Lexington Armory in New York November 9, 2011. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson