You’re Putin that drill in my mouth?

November 16, 2011


Blog Guy, you haven’t updated us on Ronald Basler recently. You remember, you keep getting his spam at your e-mail address?

Things seemed to be looking better for him the last time, what with getting a Russian bride and taking a Napa getaway and everything.

Yeah, it’s hard to say which way Ron’s life is going these days. Too many mixed signals from his spam.

On the one hand, it looks like somebody will pay him to take surveys, he may get his book published and he could be driving a flashy new BMW.

But he also needs to get his windows replaced, and he’s been asked to join a “Prozac lawsuit.” That can’t be good.

The worst thing is, it seems he wants photos of single women, so I feel very sorry for his Russian bride.

I take your point, but it also appears he’s found dental insurance, so he can do something about his teeth.

Not so fast. I’ve checked out that policy and while it is indeed affordable, you have to get the dental work done by Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

Ah, so you’re saying if Putin finds out how Ronald is treating his Russian bride while he’s holding painful dental tools…

Exactly. Ronald may need to learn Russian really fast. Good thing there’s some spam about that, too…

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Left: Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin (L) holds a dental drill as he jokes with Governor of Belgorod region Yevgeny Savchenko at a dental room of a local hospital in the village of Golovchino in Belgorod region November 15, 2011. REUTERS/Alexei Nikolsky/RIA Novosti/Pool

Right: A model stands in front of BMWs during the Luxury Auto Show in Budapest, October 18, 2007. REUTERS/Karoly Arvai

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Hmmm, suddenly I’m thinking of Marathon Man. Oh what a little shop of horrors!

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Putin is playing the evil Dr. Szell in the latest stage production of the Marathon Man.

Posted by nhdave | Report as abusive

Why do I have Marathon Man scenes going through my head? It’s too bad that the spam doesn’t say, “Ronald, good deals on clove oil.”

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I had to go back and look again, but you’re right. There WERE cars in that last picture!

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

OHH, THE HORROR! That poor man in the chair doesn’t have any arms! What cruel punishment will Kewl Leader Dude think of next.

…. cars, what cars? (Yes, ladies, call me shallow.)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

@justCAM: Ah, but such cars!

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Good for me. I have to go to the dental hygienist today and she looks (and dresses) pretty much like the model.

Posted by lemonttaylor | Report as abusive

Come to think of it, I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. I know he’ll be using a drill, and his assistant is Russian. I am not making this up. Should I be worried?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Does your dentist run any medium to large countries, Spin?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Dr. Putin:
When I was younger, just a bad a** Russian pres,
My mama noticed funny things I did,
Like drivin’ taxi’s for those visiting elites 11/05/22/a-rouble-for-your-trouble-my-go od-man/
Then I’d pull some choppers from those gorgeous Italian show-stopper eye treats 11/02/28/you-gonna-talk-or-you-gonna-dra w/
I’d see a grey whale and Hiawatha-like draw my crossbow, what a feat! 10/08/30/time-to-get-manly-stanley/
That’s when my mama said…

Hygienist babe:
What did she say?

Dr. Putin
She said, “My boy, I think someday
You’ll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You’ll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament’s wrong for elections 09/08/31/a-winner-in-the-duel-for-cool/
And playing piano would suit you still less 10/12/14/thanks-so-this-is-sort-of-like- a-grammy/
Son, be a dentist
You’ll be a success!

Armless patient dude:
Oh that hurts! I’m not numb!

Dr. Putin:
Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come!

*Sound of drill, followed by screams*

Dr. Putin:
Now spit!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Is it safe?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Okay, I’m back from the hygienist and my teeth are sparkling clean, but somehow I seem to have developed a permanent drool.

Posted by lemonttaylor | Report as abusive

Don’t worry, lemon. I believe that permanent drool is fairly common among readers of this blog. just ignore it.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, I think I can safely say that I speak for Shra, Moonshine, Onedoor, GeorgiaPeach, justK, Ladylala, Inebgreen, MamaC (if she’s still around), CrowGirl, Knit_nurse, and a few others when I say that this blog requires more Mr. Fab Abs and more shoes to give us a permanent drooling condition.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

WHAT! BlogGuy, you let GIRLS post here?!?! 😉

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Speak for yourself, Spin. I was drooling over the cars (yeah, that’s my story…)

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

@JustCam – who knows; one of us could be your sister 😉

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Spin! I am with you girl.. We Need Fab Abs! We Need Fab Abs!
Come on, take up the chant! Join the OE Blog!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

From the list of spam subject lines, “The trick for your brain to learn a new language Ronald” interests me. I think the answer is to hypnotize yourself into an infancy state and move to a country whose native language is not your own for five to ten years.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@GeorgiePeach … ROFL! Wait, I’ll have to ask Mom about that. :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Those BMWs are totally Photoshopped.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive