So I’m not the sexiest man alive?
Boss, you got a minute for a private chat?
I’m kinda depressed. “People Magazine” just announced its “Sexiest Man Alive” choice for this year, and once again, it wasn’t me.
I can see where that would be a blow to somebody with your unusual looks, Lamar. Who got it this time?
Some actor named Bradley Cooper.
It keeps goin’ to guys like George Clooney, Matt Damon, Harrison Ford. Some of them have won twice, and I can’t even get it once.
Do these guys look all that great to you Boss? Seems like they only give it to famous people.
Well, there may be a certain logic to that, Lamar. You need to get noticed.
I stood in front of the magazine’s office for 12 days last month until they had me arrested, Boss.
I’m just as sorry as I can be, Lamar. So your new mullet haircut didn’t help at all, huh?
Not a bit. Just like the conquistador boots and the tongue spike.
The important thing is, Lamar, don’t ever give up. Keep improving yourself until you get it. I’ll tell you what – you make 2012 the year you start using a toothbrush, deodorant, maybe even jock spray!
By golly, I can DO that, Boss! I can make this thing happen!
Top: Cast member Bradley Cooper at the premiere of “The Hangover Part II” at Grauman’s Chinese theatre in Hollywood, California, May 19, 2011. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni
Right combo: Actor George Clooney arrives for a charity dinner in Venice, August 26, 2008. REUTERS/Max Rossi
Right combo middle: Actor Matt Damon, cast member of the movie “Contagion,” arrives on the red carpet at Cinema Palace during the Venice Film Festival, September 3, 2011. REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi
Right combo bottom: Cast member Harrison Ford poses during a photocall for the film, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” at the Cannes Film Festival, May 18, 2008. REUTERS/Vincent Kessler