After Total Recall, time for a fling?

November 18, 2011

Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period.  Were you trying to scare us?

No! Whatever made you think that?

The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!

Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…

Yes, that’s the one. So just to show that things aren’t always that bad, why don’t you check and see what’s been recalled so far in November.

Well, this week there was that chunky peanut butter recall from 24 states and the District of Columbia.

But that’s it, right?

Sure, unless you count those almond-stuffed olives or the smoked seafood products, and the Kotex tampons.

Oh, and don’t forget about the black bean tortillas recalled from four stores.

They recalled tortillas, too?

Yep, the whole enchilada.

That’s very depressing. Thank goodness Christmas is coming up, so my children and I can….

You didn’t buy them a Power Rangers “samurai mega blade” did you?

Sure, it was on my son’s list. Why?

It was also on the list of the 10 worst children’s toys, just released by a consumer watchdog group. They named toys which they said pose risks for choking, electrocution, puncture wounds and more.

The group says there have been at least 28 toy recalls representing 3.8 million units in the U.S. over the past year.

Blog Guy, this is insane, having to recall huge numbers of consumer items, month after month. Is there no solution to this?

Of course there is. Every retail item we buy should come with a strong elastic band firmly attached to it, and the other end remains at the store. When large recalls are necessary, it makes it much easier on consumers, as the tainted items just fling back to where they came from.

As usual, Blog Guy, you’ve come up with a brilliant answer no one else has thought of. I don’t know why nobody listens to you.

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Top: Toys are seen before a news conference by the group W.A.T.C.H. where they reveal their nominees for the 2011 ’10 Worst Toys List’ in Boston, Massachusetts November 16, 2011. W.A.T.C.H stands for World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc. REUTERS/Adam Hunger

Left: Jar of recalled Smucker’s Natural Chunky Peanut Butter in an undated handout photo. Reuters/U.S. Food and Drug Administration/Handout

Right Consumer advocate and Director of W.A.T.C.H James A. Swartz demonstrates the toy ‘Godzilla’ during a news conference by the group W.A.T.C.H. REUTERS/Adam Hunger

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Ooooooo, toys with sharp points? What could be worse? Guess me splitting logs, cutting up firewood, etc as a kiddie would have been a real eye-opener for “WATCH”.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Gojira? Abunai!

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

I just love listening to these various watchdog organizations trying to validate their own existence. Personally, I look at it as natural selection in the modern age…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@FrisoJohn: Nan de Gojira ha abunai to itte imasu ka?

Blog Guy, I have a theoretical question. Let’s say that, for example, some neighbors have a whiny, loud, annoying kid. Is it unethical to get the kid a Power Rangers “samurai mega blade” for the holidays?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@69: 残念、私に私が付いている私 日本語辞書がない。

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

Recall trebuchet
Elastic tied to products
And zing! They’re returned.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Frisco:言っていることに、 四角三つが入っていて、意味 よく分かりませんでした。

Don’t worry, Mr. Spam Filter. What I said was squeaky clean.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Frisco: Unlike you, I have multiple Japanese-English dictionaries on me, so feel free to ask anything you need…

On a separate note, may I say how sorry I am about the peanut butter recall? I practically live on the stuff, although not Smucker’s. I hope that people who usually buy Smucker’s peanut butter won’t stop eating this magical food — but buy a different brand.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Anybody know what happened to @DoctorDoll?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Unfortunately, he has been recalled.

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

@69: Abunai is about all the Japanese I retain, but it comes in handy when Gojira comes around.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

You know what WATCH? Sticks can be weapons and kids have access to play with those any time they want. Might as well tell Mother Nature to recall sticks too. I really don’t like hippies.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Spin: I love peanut butter! Oooh, now I want some…

@BG: Could those big elastic bands be attached to politicians?

Must go. I hear peanut butter calling to me!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I wonder if the GFM&DS has any peanut butter filled donuts?

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

If only you guys knew how many times I have bumped my head as a kid..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Shra: If you had been in the U.S. and had been playing with toys when you bumped your head, you might have had a fantastic lawsuit and potential for a toy recall on your hands.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

So, Spin, one of my friends has just texted me ‘cos she spotted your name on my FB friends list, and knows you from when you were in Japan…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

CG, Spin, it is a small world, after all!!
Spin, yeah, I would have been mega rich by now…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Darn these recalls. Durex just called, I’ve been recalled. That’s practically why I haven’t been around here much recently. Thankfully, I sorted the issue out now.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

And here I thought, BG had you chained in his dungeon. He likes doing that to people who are extremely creative.

Glad, you werent caught, Malt :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Malteser: Welcome back! Durex might not be the same product or company in the US as it is in Malta, but you definitely don’t want any kind of recall regarding Durex in U.S. I’m just saying. (What?!? It is faulty how?!?)

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

69Spin, I think it’s the same company already. They make balloons for adults in the US too I guess, right?

And no Shra, I wasn’t in his dungeon. Not yet anyway. Currently very busy with work and I can’t keep up with the comments on each blog. Pity, I miss this blog when I’m very busy! hehe

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@Malteser: Busy with work? Feh. What about the Blog Guy? He’s busy with work, but he always finds time for the Oddly Enough Blog…

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Are you implying that we dont work while commenting on the blog, Malt? Are you calling us lazy workers? Are you implying that we sit on our bums the whole day, dont work and just comment on the blog?
Are you? ARE YOU?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive