Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Get whiter teeth, with twice the pain

By Robert Basler
November 19, 2011
beauty | dentist | gadgets | humor | medical | stupid | teeth

Blog Guy, I read about a place in France that has made great strides in whitening teeth. Can you tell me more?

You’re in luck. I don’t actually read French, but then again I can make up stuff from looking at photos no matter where they were taken.

It scares me to death that that makes any sense to me at all, Blog Guy. So how does this method work?

I believe the technique involves biting on a gel-filled mouthpiece, which reacts to ultraviolet light.

Jeez Blog Guy, if you’re going to invent outrageous stuff, try to make it believable!

I’m so sorry, let me try it again. It looks to me as though the technique involves pulling ALL your teeth, mounting them on upright posts, bleaching them all to the same shade, and then painfully screwing them back into your mouth, one excruciating twist at a time.

Really? Why didn’t you just say that in the first place, Blog Guy? Can I make an appointment online?

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Top and left: A customer undergoes a teeth whitening treatment in a smile shop in Nice, November 16, 2011. Clients bite on a gel-filled mouthpiece which reacts to the ultraviolet light in a ‘bar a sourire’ shop.

Right: A tooth color chart is used to evaluate the current color before a customer undergoes a teeth whitening treatment in a smile shop in Nice, November 16, 2011.

REUTERS photos by Eric Gaillard

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Comments
10 comments so far | RSS Comments RSS
Nov 19, 2011
2:14 pm UTC

Nice shades.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 
Nov 19, 2011
2:18 pm UTC

That looks a lot like the Williams Sonoma mouth vacuum in the top photo. Removes drool, that little piece of lunch stuck in between your front teeth, and possibly your front teeth.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 
Nov 19, 2011
3:45 pm UTC

Living in Hillbilliland, it is an honor just to have 3 teeth still, somehow surviving the many years of chewing acorns and ‘possum bones.

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive
 
Nov 19, 2011
4:41 pm UTC

She’s the voice of Darth Vader … “Luke, I am your sister!”

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive
 
Nov 20, 2011
5:23 pm UTC

A smile shop? Any shopkeeper can just open shop and perform this treatment? Amazing.

I looked at http://www.magicsmile.fr. (That’s what came up when I searched for bar a sourire.) Apparently, this treatment turns one into an uberattractive, sexy model who likes to sit in a chair in the shape of a tooth.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive
 
Nov 21, 2011
8:15 am UTC

Can’t they just use a simple tooth brush?

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 
Nov 21, 2011
12:13 pm UTC

Gel-filled mouthpiece, eh?
JustCam, your sister is uber-cool!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 
Nov 21, 2011
2:06 pm UTC

Thanks, Shra. Plus, she has shiny teeth now!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive
 
Nov 22, 2011
8:59 am UTC

Why bother? Beige is the new white nowadays. And anyway, this would come in cheaper:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tipp-Ex

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
 
Dec 4, 2011
9:21 pm UTC

idiots. no pulling of teeth, just a bleaching process with an ultraviolet assist…

Posted by mydogisblue | Report as abusive
 

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