News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, this race for the Republican presidential nomination is getting pretty wild. First one candidate surges ahead, then another, then another. Now they’re saying former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is picking up support.
You really do? Is that based on your reading of the polls?
No, it’s based on pictures I just saw of new statues of Newt and his wife, at a wax museum.
Wax museums don’t mess around with losers, so when they unveil your statue, you’re going someplace, like these wax figures of then-candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama at a Madame Tussauds, back in 2008.
Our captions generally describe these figures as “lifelike,” even though they’re not.
No, Jackie was his first wife.
Oh. Newt and Marianne?
No, that was his second wife. Generally, the wax museums stick to just the most recent spouse, which I think is Callista. Anyway, as you can see, the figures seem to…
Wait a minute, Blog Guy. You’re a moron. Those are real people. That’s actually Newt and Callista, in person.
Really? Wow. They can make humans look so wax-like these days, it’s incredible…
Top: Republican presidential candidate and former U.S. House of Representatives Speaker Newt Gingrich speaks as his wife Callista looks on at John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts November 18, 2011. REUTERS/Adam Hunger
Right: Lifelike wax figures of Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) (R) and Hillary Clinton (D-NY) on display in an oval office-like setting at Madame Tussauds in Washington February 11, 2008. REUTERS/Molly Riley
Left: Callista Gingrich listens to her husband. REUTERS/Adam Hunger