Oddly Enough Blog
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Out of the frying pan and into the fryer…
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Blog Guy, I can’t wait any longer! Has the Williams-Sonoma December catalog arrived yet? I need to get ready for the big holidays!
Yes, and naturally I was drawn to page 120, the Breville Deep Fryer, $149.95. That’s what I want for holiday entertaining, right? I mean, what says, I care about my family’s health better than immersing their food in oil? Especially with those recent studies showing we all need to raise our cholesterol levels.
Um, Blog Guy, you are just being sarcastic here, right? Sometimes I can’t tell.
Yes, of course. Try to keep up.
But if I DO want a deep fryer, this is the one to get, right?
No, I’m afraid this is the one for sissies. The one you want is on the Williams-Sonoma Website, the Timber Ridge Backyard Host Deep Fryer, just $699.95.
As the folks at Williams-Sonoma put it, “Outdoor deep-frying is a superb way to cook succulent whole turkeys, crispy French fries, tender onion rings and other favorites…”
Huzzah! That’s what I’m talking about!
The Timber Ridge holds nine gallons of oil. A gravity-fed Clean Flow filtration-cartridge system lets you reuse cooking oil up to 50 times. It’s large enough to deep-fry a 25-pound turkey.
Okay, Blog Guy, you’re just making that up, right?
Nope, that stuff is straight from the Website. The Timber Ridge also moves easily on two oversize wheels, which means you can use the sizzling oil to defend a medium-size 14th century English castle from a full French assault.
Wow, the Website really says that about the French assault?
Nah, I made that up. I had you going, huh?
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Top: A man fires a rental M9 A1 military flame thrower shooting napalm during the Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot near West Point, Kentucky April 8, 2005. REUTERS/Rick Wilking
Left: Breville Deep Fryer, Williams-Sonoma.com
Bottom left: Timber Ridge Backyard Host Deep Fryer, Williams-Sonoma.com
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Hammacher Schlemmer, eat your deep-fried heart out!
Flamer-thrower grilled BBQ food? Now we’re talking.
I’m not well versed in the ways of Santa Claus. Would one of these fit in his pack? I mean, is it worth putting on my Christmas list?
I humbly offer a haiku:
Backyard deep fryer
For all your holiday meals
Even latkes, too?
If it moves, fry it!
Q. Is there an optional trailer hitch?
How to defend a medium-size 14th century FRENCH castle from a full English assault:
GUARD: (Fetchez la vache.)
wha?
GUARD: (Fetchez la vache!)
[moo]
ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall–
[twong]
[mooooooo]
Jesus Christ!
Right! Charge!
ALL: Charge!
[mayhem]
GUARD: Ah, this one is for your mother!
[twong]
ALL: Run away!
GUARD: Thpppt!
There must not be a vache-gap!
Apologies to Monty Python and Dr. Strangelove.
Oils well that ends well.
oh, like I didn’t see that one coming…
Is “gravity-fed” marketing speak for “downward flow”?
OK, just so I’ve got this straight, BG. Deep frying your turkey is less healthful than baking it for hours, soaking in its own grease? …just sayin’….
Let’s see – $700(+S&H)for a turkey fryer. Add about another $150 for the 9 gallons of peanut oil. Sure you can re-use it up to 50 times, but how often you gonna fry a turkey anyway?
Vote the Turkeys Out – Bas/Lamar 2012!
Come on BG, I’ll bet you wrote that castle-storming line knowing full well FriscoJohn would throw MP back atya
You know a lot of these Williams-Sonoma gadgets would sure come in handy for non-081 down in the Reuters cafeteria, I wonder if Mr. Spam Filter would let him use the flame thrower?
Fires too yummy fries..
@jclimacus: If you know how to use a flame thrower to peel potatoes, I have the feeling that @CrowGirl and @Dave would love to get more information on that. Just not in the Blog, as that might be considered teaching.
I think that if one wants to deep fry inside their house, to not have the aroma of frying oil permeating the house, one should use Crisco brand shortening, instead of using any of the other approved deep frying mediums.
One can use the used shortening to make ‘snowballs,’ for those annual winter snowball fights! Indoors, even!
So the caption for the first pic says that was a rental flamethrower. Any idea which rental company carries those? Got some brush to clear myself.
@jclimacus081 and BG: I could have gone with a parody of the lyrics from “Grease.” It’s the Word!
@Frisco: hey it’s not too late
Oh, well, what the heck. Apology to Frankie Valli..
I cook my whole turkey and tender fries
We gotta dip and sink, send smoke to the skies.
There ain’t no danger we can go too far
We start cooking onion rings; it’s who we are.
Grease is the word
They think our chef is just a bloggin’ pain
Why don’t they understand, it’s all gravity fed
The Timber Ridge Backyard Host is real
If nine gallons of peanut oil gets too hot, we can heal.
Why use pressure pots or boil away?
Convection ovens are so yesterday
There’s no chance we’ll use the microwave
There’ll be lots of leftovers that we can save.
Grease is the word
Grease is the word, is the word that you heard
It’s got clean filtration, and a cartridge system
Grease on two wheels is the stuff of our devotion
Grease is the way we are feeling
This is the life of perpetual blogging
Dead equines you bet we will be floggin’
Why else would we be here?
I solve my problems and I see the light
Williams of Sonoma, did I read that right?
There ain’t no danger we can go too far
Japanese sushi deep fried is tempura
Grease is absurd
Is absurd
Is absurd
Is absurd
Is absurd
Is absurd
Is absurd
Is absurd
Is absurd
Flamethrower optional. See your local dealer.
@Spin: hmm, I admit I hadn’t thought of its possible spud-peeling applications, have to give that some thought. I was thinking more of its sure-fire approach to making sure the turkeys reach the appropriate cooking temperature
@Frisco: Excellent song, indeed. I’m not sure how you got all those things into that one song parody so nicely, but I give you credit.
@jclimacus: I have the feeling that many commenters would prefer the flame thrower to the deep fryer. Let’s talk to the product folks at Williams Sonoma to see if they can offer a good flame thrower by Q1 2012.
Blog Guy: Speaking of food preparation, I believe we were cheated out of Estonian vegetables:
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/11/21/a-heartwarming-holiday-traditio n/
@Frisco: If Williams-Sonoma doesn’t use your catchy jingle then they deserve to get deep fried, excellent job!
Amazing, Spin. Do you have like total blog recall, or what?
Blog Guy: Just wait until Eva Mendes Day!
One can hire a flame thrower in Kentucky? Wow, you folks live in a beautiful country.
@Spin: hilarious! Hey, I’m sure we could get @ladylala to ask Ma Lamar to cook us up some nice borscht, I know its Russian and not Estonian, but hey, they’re right next door, eh?
@Spin: Hey if Williams-Sonoma can come up with a Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker for $299.99, they should be able to manufacture a nice flame thrower in time for those upcoming holiday parties, reasonably priced, of course.
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/04/12/shermanize-me-another-burger-ho ney/
Ifly, you must take note of the fact that your girlfriend is going to be a part of the Victoria’s Secret non secret show! Which I believe is either today or tomorrow!
@uncarastus: It’s tonight. Going on right now as I type. Not that I would watch such things. (if my DVD recorder would let me…)
Right, who’s buying that monstrosity?
Williams-Sonoma deep fryers on page 120. Williams-Sonoma First Aid Kit with replacement gallon of burn cream page 121.
Fee-fry-fo-fum,
I smell the blood of an Englishman,
Be he alive, or be he dead
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread!
Yeah, that thing is almost as ugly as the ‘cooker’ one of the guys on my team made from a 55-gallon drum cut lengthways. He had it hinged and put in a heavy-duty rotisserie, and had 8 burners he got from other people’s dead BBQs. The whole thing cost him less than $30.
On one end he had the propane hook-up and on the other he had another for an oxygen tank. Apparently 8 burners just wasn’t fast enough for him to cook 4 turkeys simultaneously, so the ‘beefed’ them up by adding pure oxygen to the mix.
I have to say it was very effective and it did cook the food very well, but I always had the feeling that it was either about to launch itself towards outer space, or simply detonate, and take out the whole block.
@Nosmo: Say, what kind of team are you on, anyway? They sound like a pretty good lot.
@Nosmo … send me his name!
I’m thinking about making a home made flame thrower and it sounds like he could help me. Watch this space …
@CrowGirl … They make a fine bourbon named Knob Creek in Kentucky too … which may explain the gun club and flame thrower.
@justCAM – what, you mean old ‘lefty one-eye pegleg’?
@Spin – my team consists of the finest group of College drop-out, ex-military, IT savvy border-security dudes, that money can buy/I could find unconscious by the side of the road at 2am – one of those two.
We have a proud ‘MacGuyver Day’ tradition which takes place the last Friday in Jan, to see who can make the best use of junk they got for Xmas and didn’t actually want.