Sorry, you’re not my type…

December 6, 2011

Hey Blog Guy, it’s me!


Me! The guy who talks to you in italics so you can carry on pretend conversations in your blog everyday.

You really EXIST? I always thought those conversations were just voices in my head.

I can’t believe you don’t even recognize me. I’ve been working for you for years, playing the dumb guy, acting the straight man in the comedy team while you got all the laughs, being annoyed by your misinformation and puns, and now that your blog is ending in a couple of weeks, you want nothing to do with me?

Jeez, what suddenly made you so bold?

Bold? Really? Typeface humor? Not that you care, but italic type was first used in 1501.

You’re a font of information today, aren’t you?

Font? Stop it, Blog Guy! I chose all of your type faces. I was your number two guy!

I guess that made you my…

Don’t say it, Blog Guy!

It’s too late. My deputy serif

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Ooh some buttons were pressed there…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Did you just teach, BG? Really? Did you?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I guess it’s time to shoot the serif — and also shoot the deputy.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Then again, if you take a step back and look from an Arial point of view (from a BT-69, perhaps), perhaps italics guy does have a (10-)point.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

It’s italics guy
When we get to meet him, he
Underscores his worth

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

oooh, now I’m all keyed up.

I guess with the blog ending, I can reveal my true identity.
I am Gill Sans from Helvetica. I work as a courier for the bookmaster. Perhaps you know my brother Comic?

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

If you are Gill Sans, I stay on Broadway!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

If you are Gill Sans, I stay on Broadway!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Not to get off topic but any truth to the rumor that there is a fourth member of the Thompson-Reuters South Pole Expedition with the initials “rb”?

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Oh, BG, you know I just L-O-V-E this “type” of thing, so now you’ve got me started….you are An Officina and a Gentleman; my fellow bloggers are Masters of the Univers.

It makes me want to sing, “I Shot the Serif” and then watch “Back to the Futura.”

Did you hear what happened when Comic Sans walked into a bar? They told him, “We don’t serve your type in here.”

OK, I’ll stop now….

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

Blog Guy, is the guy who talks to you in italics also the recent college graduate who comes to you for career advice, or is that a different italics guy?

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Sometimes I feel like such a webding!

But seriously, aren’t there too many keys on that keyboard?

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

I bet these guys use Trebuchet MS for all their correspondance 11/01/28/come-to-the-border-for-a-fling/

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

Italics guy has been famous for a while. Check out the comment from “Amy,” who referred to italics guy as “the guy asking the question” back in 2008: 08/02/08/clone-on-the-throne/

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

I like the days with two Oddly Enough blog posts.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

As my typing teacher used to say, “Always keep your fingers on the home row keys!”. Of course in her case, the haptic feedback could come in the form of a black eye!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

I am so going to so miss the Shra generated ‘Shoooooooes!’

And the always there threat to Daves life, having him living in Pakistan, which did keep me in a state of worry for Dave, but still, I’ll miss that.

Yes, even the haikus by Spinni…

George will probably never get to see any Blue Crab humor in here.

Ifly and his adoration of Ms Kerr will be lost, forever!

The lure of Scotland as posed by knittinurse and Crowgirl…

The medi-donuts that have been offered so freely in here.

The chance to be friends with Doc. Which means the ability to offend him about him having been in the Army….and the off chance of getting free advise as to lawsuits! As well as him being a friend, in here!

The skewed humor of Nosmo.

For some reason, my eyes are watering. Just wait, Mr BG! I ain’t finished yet! I have as yet to offer the reason that I love this blog!

More later.

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

If everyone’s going to get sad for the next week or so, I guess I’ll have to join in and Uncial a box of tissues, sobbing as I finally realise that the haiku just isn’t my forte…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Well, this brings a new meaning to the term touch typist, doesn’t it?

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

Doing haiku Roman style or not, haiku isn’t my fave blend of words. Probably because doing haiku makes me think. Thinking isn’t my cup o’ tea. So, yes, CrowGirl, there is a Santa Claus that probably does haiku in his spare time.

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

It’s so unfair! Just gonna up and leave like this? Like Eugene “Voice In Your Head Written In Italics” Johnson you are just going to toss us to the side? Loyalty counts for nothing I see. You know what then? Your puns weren’t really all that great anyway. Yeah, I said it! Wutcha gonna do huh?

Second Stage of Grief: Anger

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@ifly: Thank-you for voicing that raw, visceral stage of grieving that some of us have masked. You are so dead on: Yeah. I’m angry: We’re the ones abandoned! And yeah, Mr B, some of your puns were okay. But we all feel, given time, you could do better.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

It’s a long way to Type-erary,
for rhe serif to go.
It’s a long way to Typer-erary,
just to see a Broadway show…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

If there’s ever an OE Blog Movie (it would be great in the GFMDS!) will the characters be type cast?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@ladylala, ifly: Hey, just had a brainstorm, anyone think there’s anything in the Bloggers Code about this! BG deserves a chance to improve his humor blogger skills!Maybe we can stop Reuters on a technicality!

Posted by jclimacus081 | Report as abusive

@jclimacus: By golly, I think you’re right! There is some legal employment clause somewhere that allows gifted but inept people a second chance. (My Lamar has been subsidized by a technicality for years.) I still pay for all three of us at the movies, but Ma Lamar always smirks appreciatively and nudges her boy to do the same.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Unca, Knitnurse and CG are in Wales, I am in Scotland. Just a minor technicality there..
And this is NOT teaching, guys.

Mr.Pilot, I see you would need extra-medi doughnuts today..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@jclimacus, @ifly, @ladylala: You’re saying that the Blog Guy needs improvement on his puns, so he should continue the Oddly Enough blog so that he can work on his puns to improve them. Did I get that right? If so, then that’s a catch that even Yossarian would be proud of.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Press any key to continue …. NO! Not THAT one you fresh b@stard! :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

@Spin re the improvement clause: That’s it exactly! I think it’s called the OEB Catch Twenty-three. Huzzah!

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Goudy Stout – not just my favorite beer.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Geez, earlier today I wrote I couldn’t pinpoint a favourite blog but I absolutely loved this one! I want to drive this point Home, this blog shouldn’t be Deleted, it’s a way for many of us to Escape the mundane routine of work and have a few laughs. Who’s in Control at Reuters? They should (caps)lock the dude and Ctrl+Alt+Del his system, this blog should stay, not End this way! I’d understand a Pause, or a Break, but not a Shift to a new direction. In case you’re keeping Tabs, I haven’t used all the keys on the keyboard yet, I’ll leave out a few to give the rest of you some Space to work. Oh, bugger, I didn’t meant to take that one too, Sorry.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive