Will you be taking those grenades all the way to Belgium?

December 7, 2011

Sometimes I just don’t understand stuff, so maybe you can help me with this exercise in logic.

The security folks at Newark’s airport were X-raying checked baggage a few days ago when they found five hand grenades in a woman’s luggage. Yes, five.

According to our story, the grenades had been disarmed, and the woman surrendered them “without incident.”

She was then allowed to board the flight, bound for Belgium.

Excuse me? These are among the questions I have about this…

  • Isn’t carrying more than two hand grenades already by definition an incident?
  • If the grenades didn’t pose a threat, why did she have to surrender them?
  • Would you want to sit next to somebody who tried packing five grenades in her suitcase?
  • Why would a person go to Belgium?

Another story about the same incident said the Transportation Security Administration “could not say what the woman had intended to do with the grenades once she reached Europe.”

Is that so? Because if I were the TSA, I’d want to be able to share a pretty convincing reply to that question before the lady took off.

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Top: Dust rises as a grenade is neutralized by Kashmiri Bomb Disposal Squad in Srinagar, July 23, 2005. REUTERS/Muneer Ahmad

Right: Five disarmed grenades discovered in the luggage of a woman boarding a flight to Belgium at Newark Liberty Airport in New Jersey. Credit: Reuters/TSA

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16 comments

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There are unarmed grenades in New Jersey?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

BG: please don’t ask me for exercises in logic so early in the morning.
First off, I am lucky my brain functions in the morning, let alone wants to exercise.
Secondly, do you really think logic is my strong point?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

She should have taken the flight to Grenada.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

You get all kinds, dont you?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

The obvious answer to your last query, BG, is, “For the fries or waffles!”

Or perhaps she wanted to meet Jean Claude van Damme, aka, The Muscles from Brussels!!!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

Not to mention the Sprouts.

Posted by FriscoJohn | Report as abusive

Oooooh! The fries! The Fries with Samurai sauce…
Oh, those fries…

Can someone come up with a song about Belgian fries?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

The only song I can come up with is a cover of the Lynyrd Skynyrd classic, “That Smell.” But really, it’s only the chorus I can make applicable to fries. :-/

Ooh, ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of fries surrounds you.

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

Those all look like practice grenades to me (blue spoon, hole in bottom). Some people like to put them on their desk with a “Pull Pin for Service” tag in them. Others like to try to pack them with explosives and make them live grenades. Not that I have ever done that. At least, there are no records that I have ever done that.

Anyway, I have to agree with you BG, why would anyone go to Belgium?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Story sounds like a Belgian waffle, only in Newark. And the TSA takes away nail clippers from old ladies?

Do you suppose the grenades were Christmas presents?

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

I humbly offer a haiku:

Grenades in suitcase
Carry-on or checked item?
Makes a difference

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

Ok, here are my answers to your questions:

Q1. Isn’t carrying more than two hand grenades already by definition an incident?
A1. Not if no one survives to tell the tale.

Q2. If the grenades didn’t pose a threat, why did she have to surrender them?
A2. Because handling more than 2 explosive round things at a time annoys the other females around you, whether they’re on a flight or not.

Q3. Would you want to sit next to somebody who tried packing five grenades in her suitcase?
A3. That depends. Is she hot?

Q4. Why would a person go to Belgium?
A4. F&#@ if I know.

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

Maybe the woman was a mystery shopper. She works for the TSA and was posing as a regular passenger to ensure that her TSA colleagues are doing their jobs properly. When they found the grenades, the woman congratulated her colleagues on a job well done, and then she went off to Belgium for some ice-skating and chocolate.

Posted by 69Spinster | Report as abusive

@Bandage – She can’t be hot. Haven’t you ever heard of “jumping the grenade” so your buddy can tap the hottie?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@Jazz, that is what being a good wingman is all about!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

You would have hoped that the TSA would have asked her, wouldn’t you..?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive